


Lay back and think of Jotunheim

by Chelidona (Hobbity)



Category: Thor (Movies)
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Alternate Universe - Arranged Marriage, Arranged Marriage, Cultural Differences, It will take a while to get there though, Jotunn Culture, Jotunn | Frost Giant, Loki and Thor Are Not Related, M/M, Thor will learn, and a bomb attack, just so you're warned, marital rape, slow progress, some non-graphic violence?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-22
Updated: 2016-08-10
Packaged: 2018-04-16 15:47:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 17
Words: 51,540
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4631016
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hobbity/pseuds/Chelidona
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Odin found Loki as a baby, he didn't take the baby to raise as his own son. Instead, he gave him back to Laufey with the condition that one day their sons would marry. If not, Jotunheim would perish. Now Loki is grown and must carry the responsibility for his homeworld alone in a strange world with an oblivious husband who is less than kind.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> I should really be writing on my thesis. Instead I found this on my hard drive. I already wrote most of the story, so I thought I might as well start uploading it before I do something more productive.

The small temple on top of the hill behind the palace was not the chief temple the Jotunn had built for the Norns, but it was no less beautiful. It clung to the spikey ridge, a marvel carved from stone and ice by the first Jotunn. Wind had softened the once sharp edges but it still stood strong.

The sounds of battle were distant as Farbauti, spouse of Laufey, fled along the path up the hill. The chief temple was under attack, but Farbauti would have chosen the ancient temple in any case. In his arms he carried the babe he had born just as the battle begun.

A tiny thing with ugly strands of black hair flattened to its head. The birth had been hard despite the tiny size of the child and he was still bleeding as he hurried along.

This child was the perfect sacrifice to the Norns. It was their only chance to win this battle against the conquering Aesir and would be sacrificed in their oldest temple. The sacrifice would please the Norns.

The child whimpered against Farbauti’s chest and he held it tighter. He could hear heavy footsteps following him. Those were not those of a Jotunn, he knew instinctively. This was an Aesir.

He tried to run faster, but his strength started to leave him. It didn’t matter, he hadn’t counted on his own survival. The survival of his people was all that counted now.

Odin, son of Bor, threw his spear just as the giant was at the entrance of the small structure that had to be a temple. He had given chase as soon as he had seen Laufey’s spouse running away from battle.

Farbauti crumpled onto the ground when the spear hit him. Something flew from his arms. The howling wind masked most sound but Odin thought he heard the wailing of a baby as he ran closer.

Farbauti had scrambled onto his elbows and edged closer inside the temple, a knife in his left hand. Just as he tried to lunge for the tiny, screaming baby, his strength failed him and he collapsed back down.

Odin stepped around him and picked up the baby, that was screaming now. Instead of joining the battle, Farbauti had been intent on murdering a child. His own, if the blood seeping through the loincloth of the giant on the ground was anything to go by. Interesting.

 

Six Einherjar had to hold Laufey. The king of the frost giants was bleeding profusely from his wounds. He still snarled as Odin entered the room. Odin gestured to the ropes that held Laufey.

“I am sure, Laufey understands that he is defeated.”

The kings stared at each other. Laufey had a deep gash along his right side, which cut to his ribs, and several smaller gashes on his thighs. The place were Odin’s right eye had been was a bloody mess. Finally Laufey nodded nearly imperceptibly.

“I will talk to Laufey about the terms of his surrender in private,” Odin announced. His Einherjar left. Silence descended. It was Laufey who broke it.

“You found the child.”

“Indeed. I believe your consort was about to murder it.”

“Farbauti?”

“Is dead.” 

Laufey did not ask how he just bowed his head in acknowledgment of the news.

“But the child lives.”

“It does. It is your son.”

“Yes.”

“Then I have a proposal concerning his future.”

 

Odin made a deal with Laufey. He would ask his own son, Thor, to marry the child once both were adults. Thor had the option to decline. If the child proved to be a good consort (obedient, devoted and faithful), Odin would return the casket when the first child was born.

It was a gamble. A risky gamble which touched the lives of thousands. But the two kings swore their oath.

Laufey didn’t have any choice. Odin felt that this way, the Jotunns would have a chance to redeem themselves.

It was up to the Norns if they could take that chance and save their realm. The decision was not his anymore.

 

When Odin left, Laufey walked up the hill to find the body of his spouse, his tiny child in his arms. It was screaming at the top of its lungs now. Good. Despite its deformity, it might live to fulfil the contract.

Farbauti hadn’t achieved what he set out to do. But maybe, just maybe, his actions had saved Jotunheim after all. Laufey couldn't hold the failure against his beloved in any case; Odin was a mighty foe. The defeated king broke down next to the frozen body by the temple door.


	2. From Jotunheim to Asgard

No one but Laufey knew that Loki held the future of his realm in his power. That had been part of the deal with Odin. It was a wager between kings. Laufey would have to raise his child, the one he had left to die, to make an obedient husband out of him. Without letting anyone now about his importance. And have him survive the hostility of Jotunns who believe he had no right to live because they didn't know.

Laufey thought that the obedience part might be easier than Odin imagined. Loki would not be treated as the spoiled prince that Odin’s son undoubtedly was. His stature would prevent him from becoming as proud as his older brothers.

 

Loki became a serious child. He was about the same size as an Aesir, Laufey supposed, which translated to “tiny” among frost giants. Apart from his size, his hair was unusual. Frost giants usually had none to extremely sparse hair. Loki, on the other hand, had a luscious black mane. At first they had tried to shave it off, but frost giants also did not have to shave. Due to their inexperience it ended up as often literally bloody torture for the child. So it was left to grow since nobody knew how to cut it. It was ugly whatever they did with it.

Laufey carved a comb out of the bone of a beast; he had seen such trifles before he waged war on Asgard. As a small child Loki hated being combed. As every good parent, Laufey took to mean that it was necessary and persevered. Later he started to love it as long as Byleistr did it. Byleistr was the one who had the patience to sit behind his brother and lovingly comb his long hair out for half an hour or longer. He found out quickly that this calmed his brother down when he was agitated or when his isolation within their society crushed him.

 

Some Jotunn hated Loki openly. They believed that Loki had been given by the Norns as an opportunity to garner their favour by sacrificing the third child of the royal line. The third child was always considered lucky. In many areas of Jotunheim, the third child inherited property and titles. It made sense that Loki had been a gift to bring luck to the realm. He was born as the perfect sacrifice to the Norns (tiny and hairy!). But he had failed to die.

His continued presence in the ruins of their once proud city was a reminder of their failure. Of the failure of the royal family to secure the realm. No one knew that Odin had rescued the baby before he could be sacrificed. They just knew that Farbauti had died after the birth and Laufey had let his son live.

 

Laufey still wondered if the tide would truly have turned, had Odin been just a little bit later. If Farbauti had managed to sacrifice their child in time. The king of the ruined realm had other concerns than to spend much time on idle thoughts such as those.

The realm might have fared better if he had concentrated on such concerns. Rebuilding the palace, for example. Building splendid cities carved from the ice. He failed to instil such ambitions into his fellow Jotunn.

Instead he spent many hours during the centuries that followed their defeat to dwell on the past. He kept wondering what he should have done differently (not attacking Midgard for example. In hindsight, it had been a stupid risk). He mourned Farbauti, the spouse he had fallen in love with when he was still a child. Who had always been at his side, ever since he could remember. A life without his beloved seemed pointless.

 

Were it not for Helblindi and Byleistr Loki might not have reached adulthood. Laufey was grateful. His sons knew nothing of the contract, which would be void if he allowed Loki to be killed.

If he favoured his tiny son too much his already precarious position as king would be further at risk. It was just as well that his older sons, especially Byleistr, protected their brother.

 

After some years, most Jotunns started to get used to the tiny child, who displayed a keen intelligence. Thrym, one of Laufey’s chief advisers, for example, came to value Loki’s sharp insights. He was the one who discovered the child’s rare gift of seidr and encouraged him to practice.

Those were some of Loki’s happiest hours. Neither Thrym nor Byleistr, who would be with him, had the gift but they were in awe of it. Thrym told him everything he could remember (and gather from others) about the practice of seidr. When he was just with them and practicing his skills he felt confident. And worthy. His self-confidence hinged on his skills. It motivated him to practice until he surpassed any Jotunn Thrym could remember. His biggest ambition was shape changing, after Laufey told him that this was the skill he was likely to need most in his future. It might even help to save Jotunheim. He would do anything to make his father proud.

 

Meanwhile, on Asgard, Thor grew up as the spoiled only child of Odin and Frigga. He was beloved by all and encouraged in all his endeavours. He grew up showing promise of becoming one of the mightiest warriors Asgard had ever seen, taking after his father and grandfather.

Odin regretted his deal with Laufey many times. There were better candidates for the position as his son’s spouse, the future Allmother, than a Jotunn. An intersexed being who was rejected by his own people. But Odin was a man of his word and he was determined to honour the deal.

He could only hope that the Jotunn would appreciate the honour he received by being accepted as Thor’s spouse and would act accordingly.

 

At nearly 1000 years old Loki had barely entered puberty, much later than the average Jotunn. He, and many others, had already started to believe that his tiny size also meant that his body would always remain that of a child.

But then, one morning, he had woken up with an itching face. A look in some polished ice confirmed his hopes. The scars in his face began to develop, marking him as a grown (or rather, growing) Jotunn. He might be small, but at least he would be spared the mockery of being a child for the rest of his life.

The celebration was very low-key, but Loki had expected that. When Helblindi had reached puberty, there had been a huge celebration. Loki had never liked those anyway. Too rowdy and too potentially dangerous.

He had learned to use his seidr, but his father had also made it clear that it would be unwise to use it at one of their feasts. Seidr was a rare gift among the Jotunn. Not everyone might appreciate that the royal runt possessed such power.

They would be even less pleased to know that he had mastered the art of illusion. At least to that level that he could sustain an illusion of another appearance for several hours at a time. He had walked among the other giants without being recognized.

 

One day Loki was just helping Byleistr getting his spear out of the ice it had lodged in when he had thrown it during practice. They stopped when they noticed that Laufey approached them, Helblindi in tow.

The two younger princes looked at them warily. They knew that expression. Something was up and Laufey was displeased.

“Loki, you are going to marry Prince Thor of Asgard.”

Trust their father not to use any preambles or to make any attempt to soften a blow. Loki and Byleistr both gaped at Laufey. Before Loki could say anything, Byleistr spoke.

“Father, that’s ludicrous. Loki is barely off age and not even fertile yet.”

“He’s close enough.”

Laufey sounded just as cold as the ice surrounding them.

“I received a formal offer of marriage from Asgard and I trust that you can see how advantageous this is for us.”

Byleistr growled. Helblindi looked at him in reproach.

“Good relations with Asgard might help us to get the casket back. You know we desperately need it.”

Neither of his younger brothers had something to reply to that. Laufey fixed Loki with a hard stare.

“This is an honour for you, Loki. And it isn’t as if anyone here would have married you.”

Loki just nodded, still feeling rather numb.

“Do you understand, Loki?” his father pressed.

Laufey was a little wary of his smallest and youngest, what with all that seidr he possessed.

“Yes, father. I understand and I will follow your wishes.”

Fear gripped Loki inside. He had only heard vague stories about Asgard. The one thing he knew for sure was that Asgardians hated Jotunn and that the realm was much hotter. Not as hot as Muspelheim of course. No amount of shape-changing would enable someone born as Jotunn to survive in that realm.

This wasn’t a sudden proposal, he understood. Laufey had expected it for some time. This was why Laufey had pushed him to practice shape changing. So he could turn himself into an Aesir for his future husband. That was how he was going to help save Jotunheim. It had sounded more glorious when he hadn’t known what Laufey meant by it.

He vaguely registered that Byleistr had put his hand on Loki’s shoulder as if to give comfort where no comfort could be given.

 

The day before Loki had to leave for Asgard, Laufey told him what was expected of him. Told him why he wasn’t sacrificed to the Norns as every other runt was. Loki suddenly wished he had been killed as a baby. If his dam had been just a little bit quicker. Surely that would have been a kinder fate than what Laufey had planned for him now.

He was not only whored out to Asgard. No. He had either to swallow his pride and be obedient and devoted. Or be responsible for the ruin of Jotunheim. A realm that had never been friendly to him but was his home. And more importantly, the realm were all those people dear to him lived. It didn’t matter that those weren’t many.

Byleistr in particular had done his best to make Loki’s life as pleasurable as possible in the last few centuries. Once he’d outgrown his sometimes problematic puberty, he had always protected him from those hostile to him. He could not repay that by leaving him to his painful death if he could prevent it.

 

That evening, Loki climbed the hill next to the castle. The one which held the temple he should have been sacrificed in. He saw a group of hunters approach, carrying their kill. They were laughing and singing. Usually, Loki would feel jealous seeing happy groups of people. Now he felt apprehensive too.

The fate of all those people was in his hands. Everyone who was nasty to him, but also everyone who had been kind to him. Those who had grown used to his existence and ignored him and those who tried to integrate him. The baby in Thrym’s belly. They all didn’t know.

Only the royal family knew that Jotunheim would become inhospitable within the next 500 years if they didn't get the casket back. No one but Laufey and Loki knew that the only chance to get the casket back without waging war on Asgard was Loki’s quality as a spouse to the heir of Asgard. Weakened as they were, the outcome of any war was certain defeat of Jotunheim.

Loki had heard much about the crown prince of Asgard. None of it indicated that he would be a kind husband.

The youngest prince of Jotunheim crawled into a little nook he had discovered years ago. No normal-sized Jotunn would fit in it. Loki rolled himself into a tight ball. He was too young to be fertile. It might be years until he could deliver the heir which would ensure the return of the casket of winters.

And what if he was infertile? He was a runt; no one knew if someone like him was even able to carry children. Did Laufey consider that? What would happen if the crown prince of Asgard found himself bound to a spouse who was infertile? Did the Asgardian law allow bastards to succeed then (as the law in Jotunheim did)? Did they allow for divorce? He wouldn’t be welcomed by Laufey if he was sent back. (Not to mention that their world would crumble).

 

As he made ready to leave, Loki looked up to the faces around him. His face was impassive. Some looked at him with pity clear in their eyes, some with their usual contempt. None of them knew that Loki held their fate in his hands. He carefully put on an expression of disdain as he walked to the site the Aesir had indicated. He was followed by his brothers and a small ceremonial guard. Laufey would remain in his realm, Odin had not indicated that he would be welcome in Asgard.

He took care to take in the landscape as they travelled the short distance. He wouldn’t see this glorious waste again for a long time, if at all.

 

The first impression the three brothers had as they found themselves in Asgard was heat. It seemed to press their bodies down. Byleistr actually had to hold on to the wall for a moment before he regained his balance. It was a summer day, they were informed beforehand, so later in the year it would be colder.

Why the wedding had to take place at a temperature that made the frost giants weak, was not quite clear. The entourage of frost giants was small and posed no threat to Asgard.

 

As they made their way to the castle, a small crowd gathered to gape at the giants. The Jotunns hardly noticed them, they were near blinded by the golden splendour around them, accustomed as they were to the ice.

They did not know, as Loki was soon to find out, that their eyes would show them barely half of all the colours that Aesir could see in their realm. They were overwhelmed nevertheless. It were not only the colours; it was also the sheer size of the city. Whereas Jotunheim was full of ruins, telling of a once glorious past, Asgard stood in its prime.

 

Once Loki was shown his chamber and was left in private, he breathed in deeply. This was it. This strange place was going to be his home for the rest of his foreseeable life. Time to look the part.

He had not been able to practice in Jotunheim because he had, of course, never actually seen an Aesir on which he could model himself. Hair, facial features and body structure he could leave as it was. He would not be able to sustain a form significantly different from his basic build for an extended period of time anyway.

He needed to get rid of the scars he had been so proud of just recently, his red eyes and his blue skins. The scars were easy. The eyes were harder. He knew he had succeeded when his brain was suddenly flooded with impressions of colours he hadn't known before. Loki had to close his eyes and sit down for a moment before he could continue. The skin was going to be the hardest part. It needed not only change colour but also temperature. That took him some time. Illusions were easy, this was so much harder.

Just as he was finished, he heard a knock on the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd appreciate any comments :)


	3. The Wedding

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all the comments and kudos. I love to hear what you think.

When Loki opened the door, he found a woman with light hair (the colour was called blond, he would find out later). She carried a dress over her arm, which was evidently intended for him.

The woman introduced herself as Frigga, his soon-to-be mother-in-law. She must have been present when they were formally welcomed. Loki apologized for not immediately recognizing her. She smiled and shook her head.

“It was not to be expected, my dear. This must all be overwhelming for you.”

That was just too true, but he didn’t want to admit it. It had never served him well to admit a weakness.

“I am sure I will become acquainted with this world soon enough, my Lady.”

“The correct title is Allmother, but I would ask you to call me Frigga in private. You are going to be my daughter-in-law after all. Well, in a manner of speaking.”

She became a bit flustered and Loki bowed.

“Yes, Allmother.”

“You do rather look like a man of course.” She sighed. “It cannot be helped. I am here to assist you in your preparation. Traditionally that would be the mother of the bride, of course.”

When he didn’t respond, she cocked her head. “I did not expect you to already have changed form. Did you not wish to be married in your original form?”

“It does not matter to me, Allmother. I just thought it more suitable if my husband could touch me without fear of being burnt by frost.”

Her smile told him that he had given the right answer. Good. First hurdle out of millions.

“I didn’t consider that. It would have been a problem indeed. You look quite fetching. The problem is of course that the dress is cut for a woman. I suppose you are not powerful enough to also shape breasts?”

“I assume I could for the duration of the ceremony, Allmother. But I am afraid I am not powerful enough to sustain such a deviation from my original body structure for an extended period.”

“Then we won’t have you do it for the ceremony,” she decided. “It would just confuse people to see you with breasts at one time and then flat-chested at another. I am afraid seidr is beyond the scope of many Aesir. Now let’s see what we can do about the dress.”

She called in two maids and together the women worked on Loki, tutting all the while. It was unnerving to say the least and Loki had to keep a tight rein on his temper. In Jotunheim nobody wore more than a loincloth. He resented covering so much of his skin anyway. He didn't like three strangers poking and pulling, and putting in needles to have the dress hurriedly changed to fit his form.

They were eventually satisfied with the result. There wasn’t much time left to do Loki’s hair, but that was fine by him.

 

At least his future mother in law possessed seidr too. She helped Loki to coat the chairs for the Jotunn with ice, so his brothers and the guards would sit a bit more comfortably here. Then he had to hurry out of the room, to get to his place in the ceremony.

It was, as had been “agreed” upon by Odin and Laufey, to be conducted in Asgardian fashion. It was much more elaborate than the Jotunn ceremony. The older Jotunn claimed that the original ceremony had been longer and more complicated. It didn’t matter, Loki was not granted his own traditions in his wedding.

He was led along a seemingly endless path between rows upon rows of chairs full of strange people. His brothers were by his side and they were also quite bewildered by all the fuss. A child that had nearly started to cry when it saw the mighty forms of Helblindi and Byleistr, was hastily throwing flowers in front of them.

Then he stood next to Thor. They listened to a high priest droning on about the history of marriage in Asgard, and in other realms, the elevated status of marriage, the honour that came with it, the duties of the married partners towards each other, towards their in-laws (Loki doubted that Thor would pay much respect to Laufey), as well as towards any children in the future.

By the time he went into the duties they would take on one day as Allfather and Allmother, Loki felt as if he had already stood there, virtually motionless, for hours. Finally Thor said his vows and Loki said his. Thor slipped a ring on his finger and he managed not to fumble too much as he slipped a ring on Thor’s finger.

The hall erupted in a frenzied cheer. Loki suspected it had something to do with the fact that he couldn’t be the only one who had been thoroughly bored during the ceremony. Thor grabbed him by the elbow and led him back the way he came. They were followed first by Odin and Frigga then by Helblindi and Byleistr. Apart from the vows, they had not exchanged a word or look.

 

Loki was just beginning to relax after the meal, the copious of mead having done their job, when he was suddenly seized from behind. It took him a moment to realize that this was not his husband, but his husband’s friend. Fandral?

The warrior held him close and whispered "Don't be scared, this is just a tradition."

“A what?”

His question wasn’t answered, as Fandral started sprinting off. Loki was slung over his shoulder like a slain deer. Some more Aesir followed them and fought off the first pursuers, Thor among them. Loki could see his brothers and the guards restrained gently by Frigga. She presumably explained the custom.

Loki had to fight his instincts, which told him to use his seidr against all those bewildering enemies. Something told him that this custom required him to be passive. He was carried into an open area, just outside the castle. Fandral placed him behind a bush and winked.

“Try to be quiet, ok? This is just a bit of fun.”

He nodded mutely. A surreptitious glance around them showed him that there were servants clustered along the castle’s walls. They were obviously eager to see the fight.

A roar announced the arrival of his husband on the scene. Loki nearly hoped that Thor would lose. He knew what would follow, but Thor just looked so strange. Pink skin and golden hair looked just wrong to someone who was used to bald blue giants. The tradition demanded, of course, that Thor won. Before Loki realised what was happening he was snatched again. The triumphant shout told him that it was his husband this time.

Thor slung him over his shoulders now and among the cheers of his fellow Aesir, he carried Loki off. He felt thoroughly humiliated in front of Thor’s friends.

 

Loki trembled as Thor threw him onto the bed. He was all too aware of what would be happening. He had seen animals rutting before, and Helblindi and Byleistr had described mating in much detail. They were amused by their younger brother’s appalled reactions. That was before his engagement to an Aesir, of course. Jarnsaxa, Helblindi’s consort, was tasked by Laufey to do the official explaining.

He knew enough to be scared, when Thor was upon him and ripped his dress off. One large hand (it seemed nearly as large as a frost giant’s) roughly explored the area between Loki’s legs. It squeezed his flaccid cock, fondled his balls and then slipped lower towards his hole. Loki’s breath hitched.

*Obedient. Be a good consort.*

He chanted inwardly as he forced himself to relax and spread his legs. Thor grunted in approval. Loki noticed that his other hand was inside his own pants, quickly stroking himself. He tried to will himself to harden. He was young, he had just been able to get an erection for a scant few years, it should be easy for him. But his body refused to cooperate.

At least he felt his vagina slicking a little bit, as Thor rubbed roughly at his clitoris and folds. Luckily one part of his body worked to help him. He took a deep breath to relax himself, just as Thor pulled his pants down. Loki’s breathing stopped for a moment when Thor’s erection was revealed.

Norns. He had thought the only advantage of marrying an Aesir would be that he would be smaller in this regard too. But that thing was huge. He started to close his legs instinctively. Thor quickly pushed his legs again apart and knelt down between them.

“Don’t be scared,” he grumbled and Loki nodded frantically.

He let Thor push his legs up, and earned a smile. It seemed sinister to Loki.

“See, not that hard.”

Loki just nodded again, and then he felt the blunt head of Thor’s arousal nudging at his entrance. He had carefully shaped a hymen for this form, something that Jotunns didn’t possess. The information that Aesir expected it had made it to Jotunheim.

His suspicion that it would hurt like hell was proven when Thor pushed harshly, grunting in an effort to break through. He flinched but Thor held on hard to his hip, so Loki grit his teeth together.

*Jotunheim. Think of Jotunheim. Don’t attack him now.*

He couldn’t prevent his scream when Thor gave a ferocious push and tore into him. Thor stilled for a moment and put his hand on Loki’s cheek.

“It will be okay in a moment.”

Loki nodded helplessly, not sure if this was meant to be soothing. It hurt. Just as the pain abated, Thor started to move. It was not okay, but became bearable. He prayed that Thor would finish soon. It seemed to take forever until Thor finally groaned. He hovered a moment over Loki, then he pulled himself out.

“Are you okay?” The question seemed to be perfunctory rather than sincere. Thor didn’t even look at him, but was already pulling his pants back on.

“I am fine.” It sounded insincere to his own ears, but Thor seemed to take it at face-value.

“Good. I bid you a good night.”

 

As soon as Thor had left his chambers, Loki gave into his urge to cry. He felt used. Did Thor even notice that he had barely been aroused? Was this how it was going to be? He looked at his soiled bed sheets. Blood and semen. Wonderful.

He lifted his hands to clean them with his seidr, but just in time he lowered them again. No. This would be proof, that they had actually done it. And that he had been a “virgin”, the priced quality of a bride in the Aesir culture. Let the servants see it so that word would get out. He doubted that the Aesir were bright enough to figure out that he might have shaped it while he changed his form. Or maybe they would, but this way the possibility that he wasn’t “virginal” would only be whispered conjecture. He was, of course. Jotunn just didn’t have physical proof.

 

The morning after the wedding, breakfast was delivered into Loki’s chamber on a tray. He ate gratefully, and tried all the strange food on it. Some of it was not too bad. He was still eating when his brothers came to bid him goodbye. Luckily, the servants had cleared away the sheets by now and the room was aired.

Byleistr and Helblindi must be aware of what had happened, but they could all ignore it. As he stood, he changed back into this Jotunn form, so he could hug his brothers without getting hurt. Byleistr pulled him into his arms, but chided him softly.

“You shouldn’t have changed, little one, I know it costs you much power. You need all your strength.”

“I know,” he murmured and did his best not to cling onto his brother as if he still was a child. Byleistr was rather impetuous. He was just the type to attempt to carry his brother off to Jotunheim again if he suspected that Loki was treated badly. That would be disastrous. Byleistr released him again and then shoved his beloved spear towards Loki.

“Keep this to remind you of me, ok?”

“Thank you.” He didn’t know what to say. This spear, a rare weapon among Jotunn, had been given to a young Byleistr by Farbauti, shortly before Loki was born. His brother forced a smile.

“I will miss you, little brother.”

“And I will miss you.”

There wasn’t more to say. Helblindi gave him a hug too and told him he would miss him too and how sorry he was that this marriage was necessary. Jotunheim wouldn’t be the same without their smart little brother. He didn’t want the hugs to end but he knew that the longer he kept his brothers here, the harder it would be to part. He practically shooed them out.

 

Once he was alone again, he walked to the spacious windows and pulled the curtain open. It revealed a large courtyard below. It seemed to be fairly empty, just a few servants crossed it in a hurry. But as he had hoped, the group of Jotunn came into the courtyard after a few minutes, escorted by Einherjar. They were so huge compared to their escort and the servants who scuttled out of their way. With his new eyes, their blue skin just appeared that much more beautiful compared to the pallor of the Aesir around them.

He watched them marching through the courtyard and looked at the gate they disappeared through long after they left his sight. He could pick up the spike of seidr in the atmosphere when the Bifrost was activated. So this was it. He was stranded, for the rest of his life, among those strange clothed creatures, who were mostly smaller than Loki. A runt of a giant who had been used to look up to people his entire life. In a hot realm, with no ice in sight and full of huge, garish buildings. And a husband who seemed less than interested in him but to whom he had to devote his life in order to restore his realm. He couldn’t even cry now. The wastes of Jotunheim had never felt as lonely as Asgard with all its splendour.


	4. Married Life

After a while he stepped back from the window. There was nothing to be done. His life was here now. A little chamber adjoined his bedroom. His “dressing room” as Frigga had told him the night before. It featured a large mirror and Loki went to the room hesitantly to take a look at himself again. His black hair had not changed, his features were vaguely familiar, but it was a stranger who stared back at him. An Aesir, not a frost giant. He hoped he would get used to this sight.

 

He looked at the dress Frigga had left in his dressing room before they went to the ceremony. It would have to do, until they had new clothes tailored for him she had told him. He could hardly wear the dress Thor had ripped off his body yesterday. Even he, inexperienced in matters of fashion, could see that it wouldn’t do.

He lifted the new dress up and inspected it critically. Jotunn didn’t bother to wear much beyond loincloths. They were not affected by the cold in their realm and had little reason to cover themselves beyond a vague notion of decency.

Aesir appeared to be obsessed with clothing. At the wedding, there had been such an array of different colours and styles. Loki understood now, in his new form, why they might want to wear clothes. His new skin was more sensible to the sun and the wind as he had already found out.

He stopped stalling by musing over the purpose of clothes and actually put on the dress. For the first time in his life, he combed himself. Then he used one of the leather bands he had taken from Jotunheim to bind it together. It felt good to have at least one item on him that was not Aesir.

Once he was dressed (and looked ridiculous, he thought) he took a deep breath. Frigga had told him over dinner to send for her once he was up so she could give him a little tour of the palace. He opened the door to look for a servant. The man seemed a bit startled when Loki accosted him, but promised to alert the Allmother.

 

Frigga looked just as graceful as she did the day before. She surveyed Loki once she was inside his room and nodded.

“This will do for the moment. Maybe in the afternoon we can have a dressmaker come to the palace, if you are not too tired. And we need to find a hairstyle for you, but that can wait until tomorrow. Are you ready for a small walk through the palace until lunch?”

“Yes Allmother.”

“I did tell you to call me Frigga.”

Loki smiled and nodded, unsure if he could ever do that. Frigga led him through the hallway and pointed out Thor’s chambers as well as Odin’s and hers.

Her chambers were beautiful, he had to admit. They were airy and generous. A few women were sitting in one of her rooms, busy with some needlework. Frigga introduced them and Loki hoped he would be able to remember their names. They all curtsied, but their expressions ranged from open curiosity to veiled mistrust.

They only had time for her to point out the library before lunch. He was in awe. The library, he decided immediately, was reason enough to visit Asgard. The palace in Jotunheim used to have a library. Most of the books were buried deep in crevasses that had ripped the palace during the war or lost in a mess of snow, ice and rocks. He and Byleistr had saved a few of them, but all in all, there were few books in Jotunheim.

Frigga noticed his fascination. It was hard to miss, considering he completely ignored her while he took in the massive size of the library. Not an auspicious beginning of their relationship, one would think, but she seemed both amused and pleased. She assured him that he might spend as much time in here as he wanted.

 

During lunch he encountered his new husband again. Thor greeted him politely enough, as one would any acquaintance.

Once they had finished lunch, Frigga turned to her son, smiling.

“Thor, dear, why don’t you show Loki where you train?”

“Mother, you know I do not have much time.”

“I know, but it would be nice for Loki to see where you spend most of your time, wouldn’t it?”

“Yes mother.” Thor looked sullen, but his parents seemed to be used to the fact that their son acted like an adolescent. Thor rose and made an impatient motion with his hand.

“Come along, then, Loki. I’ve got no time to waste.”

 

They walked in silence for a while, then Thor turned to Loki.

“Did you engage in any combat training or fighting in Jotunheim?”

Loki smirked, despite himself. “As small as I am? No.”

The truth was, Laufey hadn’t explicitly banned him from participating in training to fight. It had just always been obvious that it would be far too dangerous for him.

“I see.” Thor frowned as he looked him up and down. Loki had forgotten that he was not small among the Aesir. But Thor didn’t comment on it. Instead he asked: “Do you regret that?”

He wished there was some sort of handbook for Jotun spouses of Aesir. What did Thor expect him to say here? So he shrugged. “Not necessarily.”

Thor nodded, as if that confirmed some suspicion and fell silent again.

 

He took a shortcut through a small arched hallway out to the training area within the palace. Loki recognized most Aesir here, they had been close to Thor during the celebration. Fandral, the one who abducted him, waved lazily.

“Hey Loki. Nice to see you.”

The others bowed their heads and greeted the two of them too.

“My mother thought it best to show Loki where we train,” Thor boomed petulantly. The others smiled.

Fandral winked at him. “How was it to sleep on a bed instead of ice?”

“Different,” Loki admitted. Fandral’s eyes widened.

“That was meant as a joke. Do you actually sleep on ice in Jotunheim?”

“Well …. Yes. We do.”

“Seriou ….”

“Enough idle chit-chat,” Thor interrupted his friend and threw a stick at him. Fandral caught it effortlessly. “We are here to train, not to make polite conversation. Loki, you can go to my mother now.”

Thus dismissed Loki bowed and retreated.

 

The dressmaker tutted.

“It won’t be easy not to make it look like you’re a man who wears woman’s clothes. I didn’t think all frost giants looked so …. masculine.”

In Loki’s mind, Asgardian men looked a bit like small, oddly coloured frost giants. He didn’t voice that thought.

“Loki is slender and graceful though,” Frigga said, a hopeful tinge to her words. “He’s not as bulky as his brothers.”

“Were your brothers those very tall ones?”

“Yes,” Loki confirmed. How he missed his brothers right now. Byleistr would laugh with him at the ridiculousness of this. Helblindi’s indignation would at least offer one more source of merriment.

Frigga and the dressmaker decided that Loki would wear garments somewhere between a dress and a tunic. That was fine by Loki. He was neither a man nor a woman and clothes that combined the fashion of both genders suited him just fine. They also decided that green suited him. He would have preferred blue, like his natural skin, but he decided to trust the judgement of two Aesir women. They knew more about their fashion than he did. His task was to blend in here.

 

Loki’s days quickly fell into a routine. He would eat breakfast in his own room. He would spend the morning in the library before he had lunch with Frigga. Sometimes they were joined by Odin, but rarely by Thor. In the afternoon he would go visit Frigga’s chambers. Loki encountered his husband at dinner on most days where they would sit next to each other. Thor paid him little attention.

At night, Thor would sometimes come and they would have sex. It was slightly better than the first time. Thor never spoke much. He just entered Loki’s chamber and got undressed, instructing Loki to do the same. Loki would make sure to use his hands discreetly, while he turned to undress, so he would be aroused. Thor started to notice that he didn’t usually get off anyway and took it as a personal insult.

 

On one occasion, Loki heaved a tired sigh as he covered himself with a sheet. Thor was still naked as he glowered like a petulant child. The expression that was a bit unsettling on a man his size, whose cock was still half hard and dripping

“I believe my body is just not fully adjusted to Asgard yet. It might be too hot for me still,” he ventured.

Thor frowned.

“You changed your body to be able to live here , I thought.”

That was true. Unfortunately, his husband was not a complete idiot.

“Yes, but in order for me to reproduce, I needed to keep my genitals more or less as they were, apart from the skin. I didn’t know if changing much would hamper my fertility.”

“I see.”

Thor still frowned but seemed to accept the excuse. Loki allowed himself to relax a bit.

As far as he was aware, what he had just said was nonsense. His genitals did not feel too hot at all and of course they had changed when he changed the entire structure of his body including his body temperature. Plus he wasn’t fertile at all right now; Laufey had said they should just hope that he would be soon enough.

 

The only safe haven in Asgard were the chambers of the Allmother, Frigga. The fact that Jotunn only had one sex made the Aesir very uncomfortable. That was something Loki learned very quickly. They liked their world binary. Because of his flat chest (his breasts would grow a bit when he had a child) and his male genitalia he looked like a man to them. On the other hand, he was married to Thor. Same-sex relationships were not exactly forbidden in Asgard. But it was expected of sons (and daughters) of noble families to marry in order to produce heirs.

 

Thor obviously loved and respected his mother. He never bothered his consort when he was with his mother. Occasionally he would drop by when Loki was with his mother, but he always kept a polite distance and never forced Loki to leave with him.

On the contrary, in the presence of his mother Thor was actually polite. He would go and fetch more tea for her, and he never neglected to ask Loki if he wanted or needed anything. He complimented Loki’s feeble attempts at spinning yarn. It was as if Frigga’s chambers were an entirely different world. Loki was always reluctant to leave.

Once he encountered Thor outside that magical space, his husband would either ignore him or dismiss him as usual. Loki became used to Thor telling him to go back to his chambers, when he strolled near the training areas.

Occasionally Thor would turn to him during dinner or when they were on their way to some function and ask him a question. “What have you done today?”, “Why do you look gloomy?”, “What do you think of Asgard?” Loki would answer as well as he could. Not outright lies but nothing that might imply dissatisfaction. He never dared asking Thor any questions. Thor’s felt more like an interrogation than an actual attempt at conversation.

 

One morning Loki woke up to a heavenly smell. Fresh and crisp and nearly like home. The days had been growing colder recently, winter was coming. When he walked to the window, he gasped. Gone was all the gaudiness of the palace, covered under a layer of beautiful, white snow. Thick snowflake still drifted from the sky. He grinned as he quickly stepped onto his balcony and held out his hands to catch the flakes. They were not as cold as in Jotunheim but colder than anything Loki had felt since leaving home. He allowed himself to take a deep breath.

 

In the afternoon, a lady-in-waiting asked him, if this was what Jotunheim was like. He answered that Asgard could never be like Jotunheim, that Jotunheim was much harsher. Everyone seemed to consider that high praise of Asgard and they seemed pleased. So he didn’t correct them. What he had meant was, that Asgard’s mild nature could never compare to the majesty of ice, that was thousands of years old and had never melted. How sublime a landscape stripped of all softness, apart from the cold snow, was.

 

One thing that didn’t change was the coldness between Thor and him. It wasn’t that Thor was a bad person, not from what Loki could observe. He was a loyal and cheerful friend, a devoted and loving son. He was as respectful and considerate of everyone as could be expected of a prince. He radiated goodwill. And once Loki got used to the colours of the Aesir, he could see that his husband was actually an attractive man. But while Thor had consented to the marriage, he seemed to consider it one of his most unpleasant duties. He treated Loki accordingly.

 

When Loki had been in Asgard for one year, a new girl arrived in the palace to take her place as a lady in waiting. Sigyn was the daughter of one of the most important lords in the north of Asgard. When she was born, her parents had been promised a place in the palace for her. She was a bit shy at first, but on her second day, Sigyn saw Loki reading on the history of Asgard. She told him that this particular book was not very accurate. Loki immediately questioned her why, and at the end of the evening, Frigga called him back for a private conversation.

“You seem to be quite taken with young Sigyn.”

Was it a bad thing that he had singled out the new girl?

“She has much knowledge on history,” he defended himself.

“It appears so.” Frigga seemed a bit amused, and Loki allowed himself to relax a little bit. “You’ve been married to my son for one year now, I do think it is time for you to establish your own household.”

When Loki didn’t reply, because he honestly didn’t know what she was getting at, she smiled.

“I mean, that we might consider elevating Sigyn to your first and chief lady-in-waiting. I know you are not technically a woman,” she was uncomfortable again, as all Aesir were when it came to the details of Loki’s anatomy. “But as you will bear my grandchildren and as your role is to be my successor, we best treat you as such at court.”

Loki nodded. What else could he do but agree? She had said the same thing one year ago. “I would love to have Sigyn as my own lady-in-waiting,” he confirmed. And truly, he would.

“I am glad,” Frigga confided. “It will establish you more as a future queen and Sigyn can show you much better than I can how to behave as a young woman.”

So this was about the gender thing again. Even Frigga was still troubled by the fact that her husband chose a consort of both sexes for their son. Even though she genuinely liked Loki.

 

The first eight months that Sigyn was in the palace were the best time Loki had ever had in Asgard. Sigyn was not gifted in Seidr, but she possessed Loki’s curiosity and his thirst for knowledge. Together They explored the palace and especially the library and the gardens. Here Sigyn introduced Loki to the world of Asgard’s plants. To their mutual annoyance, they were always followed by an Einherjar.

Sometimes Frigga let them take a chariot to drive around the town or the countryside, usually with some more ladies. What Loki loved most, though Sigyn was not so keen on it, was when Odin let them have one of the flying boats. They would then race along the lake. He loved to drive the boats right to the rim, where the waters of Asgard fell into space. Somewhere out there was not only Jotunheim. Everything was out in space, just beyond that rim. There were reportedly worlds beyond the nine known realms, worlds they didn't know about.

Maybe Sigyn didn’t like those trips so much because Loki became nearly manic on those occasions. He would drive the boat so close to the edge that there was always just a bit of danger of plunging into the darkness of space. He loved the thrill.

They didn’t do so often and spend the time more quietly. In his time with Sigyn he learned more about Asgard than in all the months before.

 

Of course, this piece of happiness could not last forever. One day he was spending time with Sigyn in the garden. The abundance of plants in Asgard was still astounding to Loki. Sigyn had taken it upon herself to teach him all about them. Especially those that could heal. Healing with herbs was, what Aesir expected women to be able to do. More specifically, it was a valued skill in a mother. And Loki would become “Allmother.” Sigyn was well-versed when it came to the healing property of plants.

One spring day, they were seated on a bench, the Einherjar that accompanied them at a respectable distance. They had the herbs spread out between them and Sigyn was holding Loki’s shoulder for balance as she bent down to pick some up. Heavy footsteps made them look up. Thor approached them looking thunderous. They both sprang up and curtseyed. The gaze Thor gave Sigyn made the poor girl quake; Loki had never seen so much wrath on Thor’s face.

Without saying a word he grabbed Loki’s wrist and pulled him upright, dragging him out of the garden and into the castle. They garnered looks from everyone they came across, servants and Einherjar. Loki was afraid that his wrist may break, Thor squeezed it so tightly, but he didn’t dare to say a word.

 

“Are you wont to spend private time with that woman?” Thor demanded as soon as they were in Loki’s chamber. He had released Loki’s wrist but had crowded him against the wall.

“Sigyn is my lady in waiting,” Loki answered meekly. He earned a growl for his effort.

“That was not what I have asked.”

“We are always accompanied by someone, we do not spend time alone together.”

“You better.” Thor looked hard into his eyes.

“Everything is proper, I assure you.”

“I do not wish for you to consort with that woman. Do I make myself clear?”

Loki wanted to scream at Thor. How dare that man? Sigyn was the only friend he had here. He had already opened his mouth to tell Thor so, when his gaze was arrested by the spear leaning against the wall behind Thor. Byleistr’s present. He swallowed hard. If he fell out with Thor, his brother and every other Jotunn was lost. He forced himself to look at the floor to hide his anger.

“Quite clear. I will dismiss her.”

Maybe once the first child was born and the casket was returned, he could beg Sigyn’s forgiveness and bring her back to the castle. Maybe.

“I am glad we understand each other.” Thor’s voice was still heated. “You are mine.”

And to prove that, Thor pushed him back against the wall and plundered his mouth. Loki let Thor do what he needed to do to assert his claim, while he inwardly raged against his powerlessness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am very busy with my thesis now, so I had less time to check this for mistakes. I rather spend my free time writing than revising my story, now that I have less of it, but I hope there aren't so many mistakes in this that it would distract from reading it.  
> Let me know what you think :)


	5. Rifts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thor gets into trouble, Loki frets

Loki felt that he owed it to Sigyn to dismiss her in person. But he had not reckoned with Frigga. Before he could talk to Sigyn, Frigga had picked up on his unusual mood. For the first time, he hadn’t managed to pull himself together sufficiently. She took him aside as soon as he entered her chambers.

It took her a while to get the story out of Loki. When she did, her face contorted into a mask of fury that Loki had hitherto believed her incapable of. He took a step backward.

“How dare he?!” Frigga pulled herself up to her full height (shorter than Loki but so much more impressive right now). “He has no right to question your fidelity. And especially not with a lady in waiting I personally selected for you.”

“Allmother, please ….”

“No, Loki. Or do you actually wish to send Sigyn away?”

“I …”

“Of course you do not. Not to mention the trouble her father would cause if we dismiss his daughter based on wholly unfounded rumours. Obviously neither of you was politically astute enough to consider that! I will speak to my son.”

“Allmother, I assure you ….”

He couldn’t stop her. His eloquence was worth little if someone was just too angry to listen. She swept out of her chambers and Loki stumbled after her, not sure if this was a wise course of action. Maybe he should just hide.

They headed towards the training grounds, where Thor could be expected to be at this time. Shortly before they reached them, Frigga turned around with a tight smile on her lips.

“Loki, dear, I think it will be best if you return to your chambers. I do not want you to have to stand by when your husband and his mother argue.”

“Thank you, Allmother.” He fled from the scene.

 

Thor stalked into his chamber that evening just before dinner. He looked as furious as his mother had earlier.

“You may keep your precious Sigyn,” he spat.

“Thank you, I appreciate it.” Loki hoped it hadn’t sounded sarcastic. Thor scowled even harder.

“I do not appreciate that you involved my mother in this.”

He hadn’t, not really. Frigga had picked up that something was wrong, and she was right. Sigyn’s father was powerful, and he would not have liked his daughter’s dismissal.

He felt he stared too long, before he lowered his eyes obediently. “I am sorry.”

“Good.” For a moment it looked like Thor would force himself on Loki again. Then he turned around abruptly and went into his own chamber.

Dinner was strained. For once, Frigga was openly displeased with her son and never addressed him. Odin tried to patch over the awkwardness by grilling Thor over his practice sessions. It was not quite successful. Thor gave curt, disrespectful answers. Odin looked close to exploding himself by the time dinner was concluded (earlier than usual).

 

Alone in his room, Loki buried his face in the soft pillow. He was beyond crying, but some bitter sobs escaped. He had caused strife between his husband and his mother-in-law. This wasn’t good. Not good at all. That was not what a good consort was supposed to do. He had failed yet again. The reclaiming of the casket for Jotunheim was far distant. He could only hope that he would become fertile soon and carry a child. Maybe if he gave birth to an heir, his blunders wouldn’t matter so much.

 

From that moment on, Loki made sure that there was always an Einherjar close when he was somewhere with Sigyn. Even considering that there were Einherjar present when Thor had accused him of infidelity. He made sure that they spent less time alone and more with ladies of the court. He also asked Frigga to look for a second suitable lady in waiting for him. The girl she picked was silly. But she was the daughter of another influential noble, whose relationship to Odin had become strained. He was doing his duty by helping to keep good relations with the family. Surely that made him a good consort to the crown prince.

Nevertheless, Loki mourned the fleeting piece of freedom he had enjoyed. And the private conversations with Sigyn. He could see that Sigyn knew what was going on. She seemed disappointed that Loki submitted to Thor’s petty jealousy, but continued to treat him as she did before. That was some comfort.

They didn’t take the boats again. Sigyn was frightened when they came close to the rim. Fulla was scared of water and wouldn’t even set foot in a boat. As he worried that he would arouse Thor’s suspicion again if he left Fulla behind, he reluctantly ceased the boat trips. Whenever he felt too caged in and ready to explode, he crafted the illusion of a servant or an Einherjar around himself. He then allowed himself to discreetly explore the palace or the town. He could never afford too much time away, he would be missed sooner than he could like. But he felt that those small, stolen moments of freedom were what kept him sane.

Once, in winter, Loki disguised himself as a little boy and ran around in the snow outside. He pretended he was back in Jotunheim and played hide-and-seek with Byleistr. He was gone so long, that he was late for dinner. He had to confess that he had taken a walk in the snow. Frigga nodded in understanding, but both Odin and Thor frowned. Odin bade him not to leave the palace again without notifying anyone, so that Einherjar could go with him. Thor asked if he had truly been alone.

 

He sometimes amused himself by creating illusions of Thor in his room. Mostly he just raged at that image, telling him all the things he wouldn’t dare telling him in person. On a few occasions he mutilated the image. He made Thor’s genitals wither, or those rough hands. But he found that it did not assuage his rage when Thor came to his chambers. It made it harder to compose himself and refrain from actually attacking Thor.

 

In the third year of their marriage Thor took Loki to Vanaheim as part of a diplomatic mission. In the prosperous North of Vanaheim, a great beast was wreaking havoc. It lived in a moor and had been gifted with the creative name of "Moor-monster." Its nickname was the more creative Grendel.

Vanaheim’s warriors would have been able to deal with the monster on their own. But the Lord of the area, Bjarke, knew how much Asgard's crown prince enjoyed such hunts. He had sent an invitation to join the hunt to Asgard.

Thor was of course enthusiastic about it. He barely paid any heed to his father's stern lecture about the diplomatic relevance of the mission. By conducting themselves with propriety and dignity, they would strengthen the bond with one of Vanaheim's major powers.

 

Loki was used to humiliation in his life. Jotunheim’s royal runt was often the butt of practical jokes. Although his status as prince (and darling of his large older brothers) had protected him from the worst possibilities. Being married to Thor in Asgard brought its own share of daily misery.

But to sit in the Great Hall and make polite chit-chat with their host’s wife while his husband was blatantly seducing one of the maids not two metres besides him, that was a new low. At least the Lady Harpa had excellent manners and pretended not to notice as she conversed with Loki about healing brews. The two of them the only people not drunk in the room,

A drinking horn flew right over their heads and sprayed them with ale. Lady Harpa smiled tightly as a drop of ale trickled down her cheek.

“I do think it is time to retire, my Lord.”

Loki nodded and rose. “An excellent idea, my Lady.”

“Let me lead you to your chamber.” She took Loki’s arm and he allowed it.

“WHAT IS GOING ON?” Thor’s roar startled both of them. Maid abandoned, he suddenly stood behind Loki. Loki steeled himself before he turned around to face his husband.

“I am tired, my Lord, and would retire to my chamber.”

Thor’s blue eyes blazed with anger. “With this hussy?”

“WHAT DID YOU CALL MY WIFE?”

Loki closed his eyes. Excellent. Lord Bjarke had overheard their exchange. Thor seemed either too drunk or too enraged to care.

"She will not take my spouse to bed," he growled at the man, his expression clouded in anger. "I suggest you control your wife better."

 

It went downhill from there. Bjarke and Thor came to blows which led to the entire hall brawling. Lady Harpa finally begged Loki to do something and he drenched them all with rain. That shocked everyone out of their pugnacity.

Lord Bjarke then, reluctantly, allowed his guests to remain in the great hall for the night. He ordered them to leave the next morning. Only Loki was allowed to go to the chamber prepared for him.

When Loki noticed the black look he got from Thor after that offer, he declined politely. Luckily, Lady Harpa understood and nodded, regret for the situation plain to see in her face.

Before Loki could look for a spot that was clear of ale, mead and shards of shattered plates, or the remains of food, Thor clamped his wrist in an iron grip. He dragged Loki towards a corner. It was quite clean there, he had to admit and Thor didn’t do anything. He just released him and ordered him roughly to lay down. Then Thor lay down in front of him, as if to guard him. Loki trembled with suppressed rage and humiliation as he tried to find sleep.

 

Needless to say, Thor had some explaining to do when they arrived in Asgard the next morning. It was two days earlier than scheduled. Heimdall had notified Odin that Thor had called to be taken back and Odin had stopped Thor and Loki at the Bifrost. To say that Odin was displeased, would be like saying that gold was occasionally chosen for decoration in Asgard. The Allfather was fuming.

“It was a simple mission, I would have thought.”

Odin’s word were cutting, but Thor looked at him in defiance.

“You were merely supposed to strengthen our ties with Vanaheim by joining one of their most powerful lords in the hunt for a monster. Then you would celebrate your shared victory. One would think that this task suited your skills.”

“It’s not my fault his wife attempted to seduce Loki,” Thor glowered at his spouse. “And Loki seemed willing.”

“Loki?” Odin (and Heimdall) turned to him. Loki coloured, but it was anger rather than embarrassment. They didn’t need to know that.

“Allfather, I believe my husband misread the situation. Lady Harpa and I both do not enjoy drinking as much as others. Once everyone seemed well into their cups, she suggested that we both retire to our own chambers. When we arrived we did not have the time to be shown to our chambers. Seeing that the maids were all occupied with the feast, she offered to lead me to my chamber herself. I am sorry that the situation appears to have looked more suggestive.”

Odin nodded.

“I assume that there was no need to prepare chambers for every visitor. Most would pass out in the great hall anyway.”

He turned to his son.

“There you have it. I would have believed such an arrangement would be familiar to you. Your mother has accompanied many guests to their chambers. I believe you never saw me accusing her of infidelity for it. You could have offered to come with them to bid your spouse a proper good night. Did this not occur to you?”

The tightening of Thor’s jaw told them that it had not.

“Your immature behaviour and your lack of control has been a burden on my mind for many years now,” Odin continued, looking grave. “Your behaviour is not befitting that of a future king of Asgard, a role which carries a heavy weight of responsibility for the lives of others. I had hoped that time and marriage would cure you. I have been mistaken.”

He banged Gungnir against the floor.

“I need to resort to a more painful method of teaching you much-needed humility and responsibility. You are, henceforth, banished to Midgard until such a time that I deem you fit to return to your duties in Asgard.”

Loki stood frozen in shock as Odin, the Allfather, his father-in-law, banished his son, Loki’s husband. Thor’s incredulous face as he was sucked into the Bifrost cheered him though. It was nice to see the arrogance wiped off those smug features.

 

Once Thor was away, it seemed like everyone in the palace was watching Loki. They just waited for him to slip up, to behave inappropriately or, and this was the gossips’ fondest hope, enter an affair. He had to be very careful, especially in the evening before he retreated to his chambers. Loki revenged himself on one of the worst gossip mongers, the wife of one of Odin's most boring advisers, by creating an illusion of her making out with a young Einherjar in the garden. He did one of the cooks the same favour. She had to defend herself against rumours that she had an affair with one of the married gardeners. That gardener had often scoffed at the idea of a Jotunn learning about plants.

The results were funny, but Loki felt that it was also somehow beneath him to be this petty.

Loki spent more time with Sigyn again. But he still spent much of his time with Frigga to learn more about the realm and his future duties. Duties towards Asgard. How he was supposed to fulfil his duties towards Jotunheim with his husband banished, was unclear. Odin gave no hints about the length of Thor’s banishment. Frigga said vaguely that Odin waited for Thor to have learned his lesson. Loki wasn’t hopeful that this would be anytime soon.

 

One afternoon he was alone with Frigga in her chambers. His mind wandered again to his husband, his banishment and what it might mean for Jotunheim.

“You are fretting, my dear.” Frigga smiled kindly at Loki, and he tried his best to calm down.

She was sitting at her large loom. It was gilded like everything in the palace seemed to be. Loki was supposed to work on his stitching; a skill that Frigga was teaching him. He was currently attempting to stitch a cushion for Thor’s chamber. It displayed Mjolnir, Thor’s runes and an easy enough geometrical pattern around it.

Instead of concentrating on it, he was constantly getting up, fetching a glass of water, walking to the balcony to look out, getting more thread (even though he had plenty) and generally behaving like a toddler who hadn’t yet learned to sit still.

“I do apologize, Allmother.”

“I worry about my son, too.”

She sighed and looked out towards the Bifrost. It was just as well, Loki needed a moment to school his features into one of worry about Thor and not worry about the fate of an entire realm.

Before he could answer, heavy footsteps announced the arrival of Odin followed by several Einherjar. Frigga swiftly stood to greet him and he pressed a polite kiss on her cheek. Then he turned to Loki.

“Loki, would you come to the Bifrost with me.”

It wasn’t a question, Odin didn’t even bother with the inflection. Loki put his neglected needlework away, to stand and bow in acknowledgment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will only be able to update every 2-4 weeks from now on, life is getting very busy.


	6. Midgard

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki joins Thor and learns a few things.

Odin didn’t address Loki again until they were at their destination. He dismissed the Einherjar with a wave of his hand. They waited at the other end of the Rainbow Bridge. Odin, Heimdall and Loki were alone. Odin turned his back to the two others, his hands crossed on his lower back.

“It pleases me to say, Loki, that my son, your husband, is doing well. His current path is promising. Only recently he has regained Mjolnir, and he is assisting a group called the Avengers in fighting a foe that threatens Midgard. He is currently residing with part of that group.”

He turned around again and Loki did his best to bow politely. Odin was going somewhere with this, he just wasn’t sure where. Odin smiled at him, something he had never done. It cost Loki some willpower not to take a step backwards.

“My son has always been a brave and capable warrior,” the Allfather stated with a touch of pride, but there was something else to. “However, I am aware that his qualities as a husband so far have been lacking.”

What was the appropriate reaction to this? Loki stood agape, then he got a grip on himself and bowed, chiefly to hide his face.

“You are too unkind towards your son, Allfather.”

“I see you are willing to defend your husband against accusations, even of his father.”

Was there amusement in the king’s voice?

“Are you willing to join your husband on Midgard to help him become the king Asgard deserves?”

Loki was glad he was still bowing. While he straightened he had time to school his features into a neutral expression.

“I am,” he said, keeping his voice as steady as he could. The small smiles on the faces of the other men told him, that he hadn’t quite succeeded.

“It is decided then,” Odin said, as if Loki had had any choice in the matter.

He had to prove to Odin and Thor that he was a devoted consort. Refusing to join his husband in exile would have provided an excellent reason for Odin to keep the casket.

 

Frigga was happy to hear about the development. Her son wouldn’t be alone among Midgardians. Loki was allowed to take some luggage and Frigga talked about sneaking some of Thor’s favourite treats in. And some clothes for him. When one heard Frigga talk it was hard to remember that her son was a renowned warrior, not an adolescent. Loki agreed to take some provisions for Thor too, anyway.

The Warrior Three and Sif also came to bring gifts for Thor. To Loki's surprise Sif hung back.

“Loki, do us all a favour and kick Thor’s arse when you see him.”

“Pardon?”

Sif scowled. “We all saw what happened. He was seducing that maid, in plain view of his consort and all his warriors. And then he had the gall to accuse you of cheating.”

She gave him a hard look. “I do not understand how you can take it all so meekly. You are doing the women in court no favour by being such a pushover. You, as the future Allmother, need to set a better example.”

“Thor is your friend, I thought,” Loki pointed out. “He was the one who saw that even though you are a woman, you are a warrior. He defended your choice against everyone.”

“Yes,” she admitted, bowing her head. “That doesn’t mean that I am blind towards his faults though. Seriously, Loki, straighten him out. Or I will when he returns.”

Loki laughed. “I am sure you will.”

 

He learned a little bit about Midgard from the library and Heimdall to prepare himself. It didn’t help much. Midgard was one of the larger realms with an astonishing number of cultures. Much more than any other realm. Asgard and Jotunheim had little diversity. Of course, in Jotunheim they had three different kind of Jotun. There were the frost giants, the most numerous race, the ice giants who lived in the coldest areas and the storm giants from the rim. But their cultures differed only in small ways. Their religion and fundamental values were the same. Laufey ruled them all.

Midgard was different. There were several theories on the reasons for that. None that helped Loki to prepare for his own journey. As they were sitting in the library, Sigyn shook her head. She pointed at the dates of the books. Any information they had, was likely outdated. These Midgardians evolved their cultures and technologies too fast. What they knew was that Thor was in a place called the United States of America and lived in a big city called New York. The last book that mentioned the city was over 100 years old.

 

Loki didn’t have much time to learn about Midgard in any case. Only three days after his conversation with Odin, he was driven to the rainbow bridge. Odin must be aware that he carried supplies for Thor, but he just solemnly thanked Loki for his willingness to join Thor. Frigga and Sigyn hugged him, before he stepped onto the bridge.

 

Once he had landed, he looked around carefully. He appeared to be on the terrace of a very high tower in a very big city. That information hadn’t been wrong then. It was hot, oppressively so. Why did it seem to be his fate to arrive in new realms during periods of hot weather? In his Aesir body it was easier to cope than in his Jotun body back when he first arrived in Asgard. He still had to wipe the sweat from his brow, only moments after he arrived.

Six figures emerged from the doors to the terrace. Among them was his husband, who looked less than pleased to see him.

“I hate you too,” Loki thought even as he smiled at all of them.

Apart from Thor there was a very slender blond woman, a cocky looking quite pale brunette man and a man who was nearly as bulky as Thor and just as blonde. Two men were hanging back. One of them was wearing an eye patch like Odin and scowled deeply. The other just seemed serious and slightly apprehensive. Thor didn’t seem to be the only one who wasn’t happy about Loki’s presence. This boded well.

The cocky one was of course the one that approached him first and grabbed his hands.

His grin said that the whole situation was just hilarious.

“Welcome to Earth. I’m Tony Stark, this is my tower. The Stark Tower.”

Loki smiled politely. Was this a friend of his husband?

“It’s a pleasure to meet your, Tony Stark. I am Loki of Jotunheim, child of Laufey. Your abode is impressive.”

“Isn’t it?” The man beamed even more now. “I designed it myself. It is a prototype, I hope that we will eventually build many more. It runs entirely on clean energy …”

“Tony, you can give our guest a tour later.” The woman had stepped forward and put a restraining hand on this Tony Stark.

She smiled politely at Loki. “Welcome. I'm Virginia Potts, but considering that we will be housemates, please call me Pepper. Everybody else does.”

“A pleasure, Lady Pepper.” Loki wasn’t quite sure why he gave her the title. Possibly because most women he dealt with on Asgard were addressed like that. Her smile grew.

“This is Steve Rogers, also known as Captain America,” she gestured at the tall blond. “And these are Nick Fury, the director of S.H.I.E.L.D. and James Rhodes, known as War Machine.” She pointed to the two men standing at the back. Fury was the one with the eye patch. It should be easy to remember him. James Rhodes didn’t look like a war ‘machine’, he was more slender than any warrior Loki knew.

Pepper giggled nervously. “And of course you know your husband.”

She didn’t seem the type to be nervous, from what he had seen so far. Thor’s scowl and Loki’s indifference must be puzzling to her.

“Thor has told me that you sleep in separate chambers, so I have prepared adjoining rooms for you.”

“I designed them and built the connection,” Tony interjected petulantly. “We didn’t have adjoining rooms before.”

“You built a pointless machine to cut through a wall and then paid people to put in a door.” James Rhodes corrected him sternly. He had finally come a bit closer. He nodded towards Loki in what was clearly an acknowledgment. Finally, someone with manners.

“Pleasure to meet you, Loki of Jotunheim. I hope you’re going to enjoy your stay here with us.”

“Thank you, that is kind of you.” Loki bowed his head in response. Then he finally addressed his husband.

He was painfully aware of the fact, that Heimdall and Odin were bound to be watching them right now.

“Husband. It pleases me to see you healthy and in good spirits.”

Thor’s face contorted into something that might be a smile, as if he appreciated Loki’s joke about his good spirits. He bowed as well now.

“Consort. You brought much from Asgard.”

*Contrary to me who wasn’t allowed to bring anything, but was thrown from the sky as I was* was heavily implied.

Loki smiled tightly.

“Indeed. I also bring you the best wishes of your friends. Lady Sif and the Warrior Three miss you much in their sparring and in their expeditions. They all enjoy their usual good health and spirit though.”

“I am heartened to hear it.”

Pepper coughed. “How about we show you your chamber, Loki? Tony and Steve can carry your trunks.”

“I appreciate it.”

“It’s no problem.” Steve Rogers smiled at him. “We’re happy to have you.”

Even more politeness. Something the Frost Giants were not exactly good at. That was one aspect of other cultures that Loki came to appreciate.

He also made a mental note that there apparently weren’t any servants. Thor took his arm awkwardly. Loki realised that Thor was also aware that they were watched. He nearly laughed, but as it was, he cast his eyes down.

Just as they wanted to go on in, Fury finally seemed to wake up from his brooding.

“Now, wait just a moment.” He fixed Loki with an intent stare. “What exactly is your purpose on Earth?”

Loki looked to Thor. He wasn’t aware how much they knew about the reasons for Thor’s stay. No help there.

“It was deemed appropriate that I join my husband,” he thus answered.

“I see.” The man clearly wasn’t satisfied. “That’s just as enlightening as Thor’s ‘my father sent me to learn.’ Two aliens appearing out of nowhere on the whims of Thor’s daddy? That's a likely story.”

He looked from one to the other.

“I am watching you.”

“Director Fury.” Thor smiled. Loki could tell that it was his dishonest ‘this courtier is annoying me but I am playing along for the moment smile’. “We do mean no harm to this realm. On the contrary, I am spending my time here assisting you.”

“And learning all about us, no doubt.” Fury let out an unhappy sigh. “For the moment, it has been decided to let you two remain here. But let me remind you again. I am watching you. I will figure out what your purpose here on Earth is and it better be good.”

Thor and Loki both just smiled and Thor practically pushed Loki inside.

 

Once Loki was shown his room, they all gathered in a nice set of day chambers. Minus Fury, who had left. Loki was glad for that. He understood the man’s distrust but he had no idea how he was supposed to act and what he was supposed to say. Not that he knew what to say to the group present either. He started when Pepper asked him if he’d like some ice-cream. He had to ask her to repeat that question.

“Ice-cream?” she said, amused. “Have you never had any?”

When he shook his head, she explained that it was a frozen dessert. He was, of course all for it.

It was heavenly. The flavours were okay, but what thrilled him was the coldness. His insides hadn’t felt this deliciously cold since he’d left Jotunheim.

Thor broke his reverie.

“Loki, compose yourself.”

Startled, he looked around until his eyes met his husband’s. Thor’s brows were drawn together.

“I am sorry?” Loki said hesitantly, not quite sure what he had done.

“There is no need to moan like a common whore merely because you enjoy your sweets. It is discourteous towards our hosts.”

The flush on Pepper’s face told Loki that it was even more discourteous to argue in front of their hosts. Pepper smiled.

“It’s quite all right, Thor. Maybe Loki likes it so much because he's a frost giant, is he not?”

Loki nodded, grateful for her understanding.

“I am curious though,” Tony jerked his head towards Loki. “Thor told us you are a frost giant, but you are not that gigantic. Is your true form somehow taller?”

Loki sighed. “I’m an unusually small frost giant. An aberration of nature.”

“So this is your true size?”

“Yes.”

“How tall are frost giants usually?”

“Two to three heads taller than me.”

“That’s enough questioning,” Thor interposed. “Loki is tired, the Bifrost is a harsh method of travelling.”

That was unexpected solicitude. Everybody nodded and Loki could relax until it was time for dinner.

 

That evening, after Loki had just changed into a white tunic, the door between their chambers opened. He froze in anticipation.

Thor did not approach him though. Instead, he let his heavy bulk crash into the chair next to the window. After a moment of awkward silence, he looked at Loki, who was still standing next to his bed.

“Do not give away any information about Jotunheim or Asgard,” he declared. “This S.H.I.E.L.D. organisation is attempting to gather information on us. I do not believe it is wise to let them have information they are not ready for. You need to be aware that they can listen to us everywhere, even now.”

“They are not your friends, then?”

“Tony Stark, his lady Pepper, Steve Rogers and James Rhodes are my friends. But I do not know those behind S.H.I.E.L.D. or their motivation.” He scowled. “My father acted rashly when he sent me here. I do not believe he considered the implications.”

Loki remained silent on this. Thor stood up again and fixed Loki with a hard stare.

“Do not let them scan you or examine your body. You have to be on your guard, Director Fury is a man for whom the end justifies any means. He will try to trick you if he decides it is necessary. It is likely that they already collected some data. Do not give them more voluntarily. They have made great scientific advances over the last 1000 years. Knowledge on the Jotunn in the wrong hands could be disastrous.”

“I see.”

“Especially Tony is too curious. And Director Fury has been at odds with me since S.H.I.E.L.D. discovered me.”

“But surely, your hair, or …”

“It does not appear to suffice,” Thor cut him off. “Do not tell them anything, do not let them take samples and do not let them use machines to scan you. Is that understood?”

Loki began to gather what Thor presumably meant. He implied that he should not give away the fact that frost giants did not look at all like him. And that he was able to change his form and use magic. He knew that the elves from Alfheim had tried to reciprocate the Jotunn’s ability to freeze-burn enemies by their touch. They had only had limited success, but Jotunn had died in the course of their “studies” of the Jotun body.

“Yes.” Loki nodded in understanding. He had to admit that it seemed to make sense. Thor appeared to be gratified, he sat down again and fixed Loki with a stare.

“Why did my father send you?”

Thor’s tone was indecipherable. It might have been accusatory, or just curious.

“I do not know,” Loki confessed. “He just suggested that I join you.”

Thor luckily understood what a suggestion from his father meant.

“I see. What did he say?”

“That you are doing well and gained Mjolnir back.”

He didn’t think it wise to mention Odin’s assessment of his son as a husband. Said son scowled.

“I did. That allowed me to be part of the Avengers rather than merely continue as a visitor from another world.”

Thor’s petulant voice told Loki that Thor hadn’t relished the experience.

“He also said that you defeated a metal army,” Loki prodded.

Thor was always proud of his battle prowess. And indeed, predictable as he was, Thor grinned.

“I did. We fought valiantly against a might foe, a man called Victor von Doom who built a fearful army of machines, which….”

He recounted the entire battle to Loki. Loki was still standing awkwardly. He was afraid that if he sat down on his bed Thor would get ideas.

When he had finished his story, Thor stood abruptly.

“You must be tired. We will be seeing each other in the morning.”

“Yes. Good night, husband.”

“Good night, consort.”

 

His first night in Midgard was peaceful. Loki had not managed to sleep regardless. When the first sun crept through the curtains, Loki rose reluctantly. As soon as he was in the hallway, a voice greeted him (Jarvis, he remembered vaguely).

“Good morning, sir. Do you wish to have breakfast?”

“Maybe?” He wasn’t quite used to talk to disembodied voices.

“Please take the elevator one floor up and turn to the right. You will find Miss Potts in the kitchen.”

“Thank you.” He remembered what elevators were. When he hesitated once in, the Jarvis voice asked if he could be of assistance and got the thing one floor up.

Lady Pepper was indeed in the kitchen. She smiled when she saw him come in.

“Good morning, Loki. You’re up early. Did you sleep all right?”

“I had difficulties,” he admitted. “Being in a new realm requires some adjustments, I suppose.”

“Do you want some coffee?”

“Coffee?”

“Ah yes, Thor said you didn’t have it on Asgard. He’s become quite fond of it though. It helps when you're tired. Tony’s addicted.”

“It sounds lovely.”

And the smell was lovely too. Unfortunately it was a hot beverage. Pepper chuckled.

“There is also such a thing as iced coffee. I will remember to prepare some coffee in advance next time, so you can have it iced in the morning.”

“Thank you.” He gave her one of his rare genuine smiles. This woman was much more perceptive than anyone on Asgard it appeared.

 

Two days after Loki arrived Director Fury reappeared with an agent of S.H.I.E.L.D.. Thor had told them that should they try to examine Loki’s physique, Odin would transport Loki back to Asgard. Regardless of the destruction it might cause to get Loki out of wherever they took him. (It was questionable if Odin could actually do that.) Fury was clearly not happy about that. He tried to talk/bully Loki into submitting a blood sample and submit to a scan. Loki refused adamantly. He was more scared of his husband than this S.H.I.E.L.D. organisation and he saw Thor’s point. Aesir were quite similar to Midgardians, apart from the lifespan and the higher endurance. A shape changing frost giant might give them data they were truly not ready for.

 

The first week on Midgard was uneventful apart from that visit. Thor was happy to receive the gifts of his mother and his friends. After Loki had given him the presents, he more or less ignored Loki, as he had on Asgard. Loki spend his time learning about Midgard either by reading or by talking to Pepper. James Rhodes would frequently spend time with him too. He was the one who introduced Loki to the wonderful world of video gaming. He also told Loki that he generally didn’t live in the tower. He had moved in on S.H.I.E.L.D.’s request to deal with the current situation. Loki didn’t ask what that situation was. Instead he let his two new companions take him out into the world of Midgardians and indulged in copious amount of iced drinks and ice-cream.

 

In his second week on Midgard, Loki learned about Jane Foster. When he entered the living room with a cup of coffee to bring it to his husband, Thor was on his phone. Thor didn’t even look up when he entered.

“I would be delighted to see you Jane, it has been too long.”

Loki froze. This was the tone of voice he had believed was reserved for Frigga only.

“Yes I missed you too,” Thor’s deep voice assured this Jane. “I am looking forward to having you on the weekend.”

Thor turned and the pleasant smile on his face was instantly replaced by anger. He made a shooing notion. Loki placed the coffee down automatically before he retreated.

 

So this was why Thor was so displeased to see his spouse. He had a mistress on Midgard. A woman, not someone who was both man and woman and neither. She was to visit that very weekend. Loki did not look forward to further humiliation. In his marriage to Thor humiliation seemed inevitable though. He remembered Sif’s words and wondered if he really should kick Thor’s arse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am ill at the moment. I probably shouldn't even attempt to post something I only proofread while feeling too ill to do any real work, but I am fairly certain the chapter is ok. Let me know if there are any bad mistakes (or even small mistakes. I always like to improve).


	7. The Avengers Interfere

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jane shows up. The Avengers do battle. And they meddle with Loki's marriage.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Right. So after I posted the last chapter I received over 100 kudos 0_o Thank you for every single one. And 20 comments. Wow. 20 People who liked this enough to leave a comment, I never expected that. I needed a bit of cheering up the last couple of weeks and that certainly did it.  
> I might also be slightly more nervous than usual before posting the next chapter, but oh well. Hope you enjoy this one as well!

Loki heard the doorbell ring (or rather the door alarm, the thing was so loud) as he was in the kitchen preparing some iced coffee for himself. He tensed. He had recovered by the time Pepper came in and greeted her in his usual aloof manner. She smiled.

“I think your husband’s friend arrived. Shouldn’t we go and say hello?”

“We might as well.”

Pepper frowned a bit at Loki’s lack of enthusiasm but he had already side-stepped her and was on his way down to the common area.

 

Thor spun around as they entered, his face comical in stunned surprise. Had he expected Loki to hide? Jane, however, smiled and introduced herself. She obviously already knew Pepper and the two women embraced.

“This is Loki,” Pepper informed Jane cheerfully. “Thor’s husband.”

Jane looked at him in disbelief and then to Thor.

“You never told me that you’re married!” she exclaimed.

“I ….” Thor looked furious, but struggled to look contrite instead. “I ….”

“Is this your husband or not,” Jane demanded. Thor swallowed.

“I am married to Loki, yes.”

She gave him a hostile glare. “And you never thought it might be appropriate to tell me?”

Thor stiffened. “No.”

“I see.” Jane continued to glare at him.

“I have not lain with Loki since he arrived,” Thor swore.

Loki seriously considered whether standing in the way of his husband’s affair with this woman would be counted against him. There was no way he could get out of this situation even if he was currently ignored. Jane’s colour had risen alarmingly.

“How is that supposed to make anyone feel better?” she spat out.

“I ….” Thor looked around, but didn’t seem to find much inspiration. “I didn’t want to marry Loki, I had to.”

“And yet he is here.”

“Not because I wanted him to.”

Loki tried to shrink back discreetly. When Jane turned to look at him, he took a step backwards and hit the wall. Embarrassed he straightened. Jane looked him over, then she turned back to Thor.

“So, he forced you to marry him and now he forced himself onto you?”

The sarcasm in her voice was plain, but Thor seemed genuinely surprised.

“No, he …”

Jane’s hand flew up and slapped him before he could finish the sentence.

“Grow up, Thor,” she snapped. Thor stumbled backwards in surprise and stared at her with wide eyes. Loki was glad. He was even gladder when Jane swooped past them and out of the house a moment later. He didn’t want to find out what Thor would have done once he had gotten over the shock. Presumably nothing; Thor was not known for petty violence, especially not against women. Still. Loki followed her example and hurried to his own room, before Thor could decide to direct his anger against his meddling husband.

 

Only a short while later, Pepper knocked on the door to his room. When he invited her in, she smiled hesitantly.

“I’m sorry,” she apologized as soon as she had closed the door. “I didn’t know what was going on between Thor and Jane.”

“It is hardly your fault.” Loki managed to smile at her. “How could you know?”

“Maybe.” She sighed, clearly holding back her feelings. “I hope that ….”

“Lady Pepper,” Loki tried to soothe her. “You really are not responsible for my husband’s behaviour. Ours was an arranged marriage. For an Aesir prince his action was not entirely inappropriate.”

Pepper smiled hesitantly. “Well then, if you are fine, then that’s okay.”

Loki laughed. “Fine is an exaggeration, but I feared something like this would happen. Do not fret.”

“All right.” She kept smiling, even though her eyes were still serious. Loki rose from his chair.

“I am sorry for this unpleasant situation. But I believe there was cake, so I should stop hiding.”

“I even bought ice cake for you,” Pepper informed him as they walked to the elevators. He wasn’t surprised, Pepper always thought about details such as these.

 

Thor never came to apologize for the situation. On the contrary, the next time he saw Loki he shot him an angry glare. Did he think Loki needed to apologize to him for disturbing his affair? If it was an affair. They were still not clear on what exactly happened between Jane and Thor. Thor was not forthcoming with information. Loki hadn’t asked him of course. Tony tried to, but was brushed off by Thor.

 

The awkwardness in their odd household subsided after a few days. They soon got back into the routine of hanging out in the common room together, everyone absorbed in their own task or entertainment. Loki was usually reading or playing a video game with Rhodey or Tony, or sometimes even Steve. On one such occasion, they were interrupted by a stunningly beautiful woman. She sashayed into the room with an air that was even more commanding than Fury’s.

“We need to get going,” she announced to no one in particular. “Von Doom’s ships have been sighted not far off the coast.”

Tony reclined in the couch. “Isn’t that what our brave marines are for?”

“They are outgunned by von Doom and you know it.” Rhodey jumped up from where he was sitting next to Loki. “Get your systems running, Tony.”

“And what will we do with those that can’t fly, huh?”

Tony rolled his eyes but did what Rhodey asked him while the woman assured him that Fury was taking care of it. Thor, predictably, was eager for the fight and cheered the others on as they left.

 

Loki and Pepper remained alone in the tower. They switched on the TV and soon enough they found live coverage of the incident. Pepper shook her hand and said that Fury as well as the government would be displeased. Loki couldn’t care less.

They caught the battle just after it began. Thor was flying into the picture and landed a heavy hit on one of the ships. It was the first time Loki could observe Thor’s prowess in a real battle, rather than training. He had to admit that his husband was a good warrior. He evaded the enemy’s fire seemingly without effort as he continued to do damage.

The coverage was confusing. Some of the battle happened outside of the frame, so some of the action could not be seen clearly. Especially because whoever was responsible for the coverage seemed to zoom in at random. They got snippets of Steve throwing von Doom’s henchmen off the ships, Tony and Rhodey firing at some ships and the Hulk smashing up others. They got glances of the woman who had come to fetch the Avengers, The Black Widow, kicking at assailants. A man, Hawkeye, was shooting arrows with explosives.

Loki’s heart stopped for a beat when Tony was caught off guard by a blast from one of the remaining ships. He was thrown out of the frame. He heard Pepper hitch her breath, before she called for Jarvis to give her a connection to Tony. Moments later Tony’s cheery, if somewhat manic voice sounded through the room, assuring Pepper he was fine.

On screen, Thor sent his hammer flying against the last remaining ship. It was already floundering. The hammer pierced through its hull like tissue paper. This seemed to signal the end of the battle. As the camera zoomed away, all of von Doom’s ships could be seen sinking or smoking.

The live footage ended. The channel switched to a speaker who informed the viewers that the marines would look for survivors in the water. The would also secure the destroyed enemy ships. Pepper rolled her eyes.

“This was just a test for that fiend. I wonder if those reporters are too stupid to get that or if they don’t want to frighten the public.”

“From what I gathered in my short time here, I would go with stupid,” Loki answered.

“True.” She shrugged her shoulders. “In any case, I’m happy that they are all safe, but I fear worse is to come.”

 

When the group came back they were not in the mood to indulge in Pepper’s apprehensions. They were in the mood to celebrate their victory. Or more specifically, Thor and Tony were in the mood to celebrate and they infected the others.

As in Asgard or Vanaheim or even Jotunheim, celebrating meant: “Have lots of unhealthy food and even more drink and let’s all get drunk together.”

It seemed a bonding experience that was universal in every realm and which yet eluded Loki. He was largely ignored during the whole thing, he just sat quietly at Thor’s side. He noticed that Natasha and Pepper weren’t drinking either. Natasha sat at the other end of the table and just seemed to observe, disapproving of everyone. He liked her. Steve drank, but it didn’t seem to affect him much. From time to time he tried to engage Loki in conversation, but they were usually interrupted by Tony.

Thor could stomach much more alcohol than the others, but the rate at which he was downing the cans of ale meant he was getting intoxicated as quickly. It was late when Thor turned to Loki, the first time he acknowledged his spouse's presence. He grabbed Loki’s arm.

“Come on, then.”

Loki swallowed when he recognized the look on Thor’s face. His reprieve was about to end. Nevertheless, he stood up with Thor, not looking at anyone. He hated to be humiliated like that in front of the others.

So it came as a shock when Thor stopped in his tracks. Loki looked up to find Rhodey standing next to them, his hand on Thor’s arm, just as they were about to leave the room.

“Thor, I don’t think Loki wants to go with you.”

Thor looked at him in confusion.

“He is my consort,” he explained.

Tony stood up too, wobbling slightly.

“We know he is your consort, big guy.”

“Good.” Thor seemed to consider the matter settled and pulled at Loki’s hand. Steve moved in front of him.

"That doesn't mean you can just order him around, Thor."

“Why not?”

“Are you serious?” Steve looked at Thor in disbelief. “Do you think it is honourable to force yourself upon someone because he happens to be married to you?”

“Do you want to take Loki to your own chambers tonight?” Thor’s colour rose. Loki was unpleasantly reminded of the feast which had caused Thor's banishment.

“Thor, please.” He whispered. “I would never go with anyone else.”

Thor turned to face Loki, scrutinizing his face with an intent frown. His mouth set into a tight line. Then he nodded tersely, released Loki’s hand and stalked out.

This was awkward. They all looked at him with slight concern, but it was Rhodey who spoke.

“Are you all right Loki? Is there something we can do?”

“No, thank you. I think I will retire as well.”

“The adjoining chambers …” Pepper ventured to object. “We have other rooms as well, you can sleep in one of them.”

“That is very thoughtful, Lady Pepper, but it won’t be necessary, I assure you. I know my husband. He won’t come to me tonight.”

“I will have Jarvis monitor that door just in case,” Tony announced. His voice was still unsteady but the Jarvis voice was as neutral as ever when it confirmed “Very well, sir.”

 

Once in bed, Loki beat his head against the mattress. They had meant well. So well. These virtual strangers had stood up for him in a way even Byleistr never had. And he should be happy about that. They hadn’t known that their action had endangered Jotunheim.

He heaved a sigh, burying his face in the pillow. No. It were his own actions. He had been too surprised by Thor’s move to feign eagerness. In Asgard, people usually didn’t care if Thor dragged Loki off. It was not something that Odin ever subjected Frigga to. But Loki never actively resisted, so no one suspected how he dreaded those occasions.

Loki rolled over and contemplated the ceiling. He had to do something. Odin had sent him here explicitly to “help Thor become the king Asgard deserves.” Had Odin known about Jane and was that the reason Loki was sent here? How was he supposed to help Thor reform? He really should have asked Odin. But whatever Odin expected from him, he wasn’t going to accomplish it by moping in his bedroom. He needed to come up with something better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Netflix Switzerland has Ironman and Ironman II now. Yay! I discovered that a bit too late for this chapter, but hopefully from now on I can keep Pepper and Rhodey more in character (I just know I loved them when I watched the films with my godsons so they absolutely needed to be in here).


	8. Getting closer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki enlists help to get closer to Thor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again for your kudos and comments :)  
> Hope you'll enjoy this chapter!

Loki didn’t see Thor the next morning. Instead, Pepper ushered him into her own room as soon as he showed his face in the kitchen. She told him he would have breakfast there with her and Rhodey. That suited Loki’s still sketchy plans. He had figured out that he wouldn’t be able to fulfil Odin’s demand on his own. He had no idea how to transform Thor or whatever Odin expected of him. Thor never paid him any attention; changing that without any form of help would take too much time. Pepper was friendly and intelligent. She was an ideal ally.

 

Before Loki could think of a way to start the subject naturally , Pepper handed him his iced coffee. As he sipped on it, she toyed with her own steaming cup.

“So.” She looked at Loki, and pushed a stray strand of hair out of her face. “We’ve only known you for a short time, but I hope you know you can trust us. If there’s anything we can do … I mean we all saw yesterday …”

“Thor's a valued member of the Avengers,” Rhodey helped her out. “But we're a bit worried about what happened yesterday.”

“Yes,” Pepper affirmed. “And we thought …. Well, we thought maybe you’d like to talk about it?” She glanced to Rhodey again. “That’s why I didn’t invite Tony. He will sulk once he finds out, but I know he can be too …. blunt? And overwhelming? But maybe, it’s a bit presumptuous, but well …”

Loki smiled, hoping to soothe her so she would come to her point. She seemed to get his intention and smiled back.

“You said it was an arranged marriage. And that Thor’s behaviour regarding Jane wasn’t unusual. And yesterday? Was that …. is that considered normal in Asgard?”

“Well …” Loki hedged. This was going a bit too fast for him. “Look, you know, Thor doesn’t want me to talk too much about our home …”

“Yes, because of S.H.I.E.L.D. I know.” Pepper smiled. “Don’t worry, this room is not monitored by Jarvis and nothing in here is recorded. I told Tony if he didn’t deactivate it here, I would leave him.”

“You wouldn’t!” Rhodey exclaimed.

“Yes, I would. If he doesn’t trust me enough to grant me a place where he can’t monitor me, there's no point to a relationship, is there. Which brings me back to yours, Loki.”

Loki looked to Rhodey who sighed. “Yes, okay, I work for them, but I promise that what’s said in this room will stay between the three of us. Happy?”

Loki nodded.

“There is a bit more to this than culture,” he confessed. “You see, 1000 years ago Jotunheim ….”

He realised that this might be the wrong way to start. He needed to learn to do this better. Considering that he arouse their suspicions already by pausing, he opted for the truth. Maybe that would establish some trust?

“Laufey, my father, tried to conquer Midgard roughly 1000 years ago.”

Pepper’s eyes widened. “This world?”

“Yes, unfortunately. Odin stopped him and then waged war on Jotunheim. I was born during that war. I am a runt – usually those like me are sacrificed to the Norns after birth. Odin killed my dam just as I was about to be sacrificed.”

He bit his lips, now came the hard part but they already looked shocked. He belatedly remembered that their culture had no similar customs. Pepper’s mouth hung open.

“Your own parents wanted to sacrifice you?”

“Yes. They actually hoped it would bring us luck, to win the war. That didn’t happen.”

He made a gesture to indicate that it didn’t matter.

“Odin took away an artefact from my world. It contains the magic that Jotunheim needs to sustain life. He then proposed that if his son, Thor, agreed, Thor and I would marry when we were old enough. Provided I became a devoted and obedient consort, Odin would give the artefact back as a gift once our first child is born. So you see, if Thor is unhappy with my performance as his consort and if I don’t provide an heir, my home will be lost in less than 500 years. That is within the expected lifetime of my brothers and me.”

Pepper looked at him, eyebrows drawn up. It was Rhodey who spoke.

“Let’s backtrack a little. Odin, Thor’s father, conquered your homeworld, is that correct?”

When Loki nodded, he continued.

“And once he had done that, he took something that made sure the world he just conquered would perish within 1500 years.”

“Correct.”

Pepper interjected. “You and Thor are really that old? I always thought Thor exaggerated, or that you would count the years differently ….”

“No, we are that old.”

Rhodey harrumphed, apparently he considered this a minor detail.

“Okay. And because you are shorter than the other giants, you to be sacrificed right after your birth? But Odin made sure you live so you could marry his son, if his son should be willing?”

“Yes.”

“No one asked for your consent?” Pepper interjected. Rhodey gave her a disapproving glance. Loki still decided to answer.

“No,” he confirmed. “My father informed me that Asgard had send a marriage proposal and that I was to marry Thor.”

“I get that this was hard for you,” Rhodey conceded. “But just to get this straight. You were not only forced into marriage. Your father and Odin struck this dumb deal which meant the fate of your entire realm would rest on your obedience to Thor?”

“Exactly.”

“Does Thor know?”

Loki shook his head. “He is not to know. You can’t tell him – please. It was Odin’s condition.”

“Okay, I get that. You want to save your world. It’s just that …. Your father is still alive? And king?”

“Yes?”

“And he was the one who wanted to conquer our world?”

Loki sighed. This was going to be the hard part.

“Please rest assured that neither my father nor my brother, once he succeeds him, will attempt to rule over Midgard. Jotunheim has not only learned its lesson. We still haven’t recovered from the previous war.”

Rhodey looked directly into Loki's eyes.

“Jotunheim should also know that we are better prepared for an Alien invasion than we were 1000 years ago. You might want to mention that in your letters home.”

Loki smiled, reassuringly as he hoped. “I will.”

Pepper nodded. “Good. And we can also help Thor to shape up as a husband.”

Loki blinked. That was easier than he had imagined. He didn’t even have to admit that this was his goal. Perfect. So he shook his head as if hesitating. “I am not sure …”

As he hoped, Pepper interrupted him.

“Oh, it is necessary, Loki. From what I’ve seen of him, I believe Thor can do much better as a husband. He is only a complete bastard around you.”

Rhodey looked unhappy. “I feel that we should tell Fury.”

“You promised.” Loki straightened in alarm. “He will tell Thor and then my world is lost.”

“I know,” Rhodey assured him. “And I won’t break my word, but …”

Pepper interrupted him.

“I think it is very noble of you to fight for a world that is so inhospitable to you.”

“Inhospitable? I assure you …”

“That was the wrong word,” Pepper corrected herself. “I meant the people, not the world. You were meant to be killed and saved by Odin, and yet you work to save it.”

“Well … I love my brothers. And my father. And there were a few others that were nice.” Loki shrugged. “And no matter what they usually do with those that are born with defects, it is my home.”

Rhodey nodded. “I understand what you mean.”

 

When they walked towards the kitchen, they found Natasha there.

“What are you three conspiring about?” she asked.

“Nothing,” Pepper said briskly. “We merely had a private breakfast.”

“In the only room in this entire tower which can’t be monitored.”

“Which happens to be my private room, yes.” Pepper crossed her arms over her chest.

“You’re a clever woman.” Natasha leant against the kitchen counter. “I wonder what you had to discuss during breakfast that was so secret.”

“My private life,” Loki answered. Natasha lifted her brows. Apparently she hadn’t expected him to join the conversation. She studied Loki for a moment, then she nodded.

“I am sure that was fascinating.”

She didn’t seem to believe a word he said. Loki shrugged.

“It is to me. And I don’t have another function here.”

Again, Natasha took a moment to just look at him.

“Yes, I forgot. You are merely here to keep Thor company.”

There was no way to overhear her mocking tone. She had probably heard about Jane’s visit. And the previous evening had demonstrated that their marriage was not exactly loving. So this was what that was about. S.H.I.E.L.D. didn’t know why he was in Midgard.

Pepper’s forehead wrinkled. “Thor doesn’t appreciate his company though. We were talking about changing that.”

“Are you? How thoughtful.”

Pepper flipped her hair in annoyance. “While all of you battle to keep our world safe from a lunatic, I am going to help Loki and Thor connect.”

“You’re CEO of Stark Industries, doesn’t that keep you occupied enough?”

“I’ve got some spare time.” Pepper smiled. “And I’ll get Tony to help.”

Unexpectedly, Natasha laughed. “Good luck with that.”

Natasha sashayed out, looking as determined as always. Loki started to feel a bit uneasy again. If he interpreted Natasha’s questions correctly, Fury was still determined to figure out what was going on. And the last thing he needed was Fury determining that Jotunheim posed a threat to Midgard. He had taken a risk in revealing the story to Pepper and Rhodey. He could just hope that it had been worth it.

 

After dinner that evening, Thor knocked on his door. The man actually knocked. That was something that had never happened before.

Loki had thought it was one of the others. He froze slightly when he opened the door and found his husband standing before him. Why he hadn’t come through the door adjoining their rooms wasn’t clear to Loki.

“Can I come in?”

“Yes. Of course. I am sorry.” Loki stepped aside, forcing himself to show his best smile.

“Thank you.” Thor stepped in. For a moment he just stood there, then he sat down in the chair near the window, his usual place when he came to see Loki. He rubbed his chin, as another silence stretched. Then Thor’s blue eyes suddenly looked directly into Loki’s.

“That story that you can’t get off because of the heat in Asgard, that was all nonsense, wasn’t it?”

The question startled Loki. He tried to feel his way.

“I wouldn’t say so.”

“I thought about it last night. And realised that it didn’t change when it was winter. You always kept your chambers cold in winter. Cold enough that I nearly couldn’t get it up. But no difference.”

“That is true.” Loki felt that he was rapidly losing ground here. He still didn’t know where this was leading.

“You never told me to stop,” Thor said defiantly.

“I didn’t,” Loki confirmed.

“Yesterday. You didn’t say no.”

“Indeed.”

“So how I was I to know you didn’t want to come with me?”

Loki didn’t point out that he could have just asked. Or taken the trouble to figure out Loki’s body language. Instead he said:

“I don’t know.”

Thor sat on his chair like a five year old who had just been told off. He was grudgingly playing nice so he would be forgiven but didn’t comprehend what he had done wrong in the first place.

“My friends think less of me now.”

“I am very sorry about that.” Loki smiled as soothingly as he could. “I am sure that can be remedied.”

“You could tell them that I am a good husband.”

“I will.”

“I am not a good husband, am I?”

Loki needed a moment to process that question. Of course he wasn’t, but saying to would not uphold the “obedient” and “devoted” part on his side.

“I wouldn’t say that.”

There. Another smile. It didn’t seem to work, Thor laughed harshly.

“Yes, of course you wouldn’t. I might as well press water from a stone as getting a straight answer from my consort.”

Loki looked at him in faint surprise. “I assure you, I am sincere.”

Thor scoffed. “You are incapable of sincerity.”

Unfortunately, he had a point there. He couldn’t be sincere to Thor.

“I am saddened to hear you think so. I will admit that you can be difficult when you are drunk.”

There was a brief silence, then Thor laughed to Loki's confusion.

"Difficult when I'm drunk. That has to be the nicest description of the reason that brought me to Midgard in the first place."

Loki crossed his arms. “The situation might have looked less innocent than it was.”

Thor frowned.

“Publicly accusing our hostess of cheating on her husband with mine was a grave mistake.”

“Evidently.” Loki sighed. “Whatever you have done down here seems to please Odin. I am sure he will soon forgive you.”

“Perhaps.” Thor shrugged. “I like it here in Midgard. Life with the Avengers is exciting. I would prefer to be here out of my own volition of course.”

“Of course.” This time Loki could put honest feelings in his answer. Thor looked at him and licked his lips.

“Tony suggested that my father might have sent you here so I can prove my worth as a husband.”

That was Pepper’s work, Loki was sure of it. Those Midgardians loved to meddle even more than the Aesir. He could only hope that this worked.

“This is why you want me to tell them that you are a good husband?”

“This is what showed me how little they think of me as a husband.”

“I assure you I have never complained.”

“I know.” Thor smiled a bit again. “Steve suggested that we should spend more time with each other.”

They looked at each other, both a bit uncomfortable. When the silence had stretched too long, Loki nodded.

“I have no objections to that.”

”Very well.” Thor stood again. “I bid you a good night.”

”Good night, and rest well.”

Loki slumped against the door as soon as he had closed it behind Thor. He needed to work on being more casual around Thor. He slowly realized what had actually been said and decided between them. Loki straightened again, feeling revitalized. Thor had agreed to spend more time with him and Thor had admitted that he wasn’t a good husband. There was a real chance that he could convince Odin that Thor would improve as a husband. And that Loki was a good spouse. Now, all he needed to do was make Thor feel good about himself, so Thor would be happy with him as a spouse. Jotunheim would get the casket back.

 

Tony had booked a table for them in a restaurant that was, according to him, very romantic. From what he knew the Midgardians considered romantic, it probably was. The problem was, that Thor was uncomfortable in this setting. He had adjusted to Midgardian table manners, as had Loki, but the atmosphere was stifling. Loki had to suppress a laugh as Thor stumbled through the wine tasting ritual.

Despite Pepper’s careful instructions prior to their visit Thor, was a bit at a loss. He had quaffed down ale and wine for centuries, but now he was expected to carefully sip on a tiny amount of wine . Thor looked at Loki and pulled a face as he obediently held a sip of wine in his mouth. Luckily he seemed amused rather than angered.

He told the waiter that the wine was just fine and then grimaced at Loki again.

"I do hope the wine is all right."

“I am sure it will be.”

“I prefer mead, but they do not appear to serve that at these restaurants. Tony told me we shouldn’t drink ale with our meal here.”

“Well, if that would be inappropriate, we won’t do it.”

“You are not fond of mead and ale anyway, are you?”

Loki blinked. Thor had noticed that? “No,” he admitted. “I do not enjoy alcohol much. But I have learned to appreciate it in connection with a meal during my time in Asgard and here.”

 

The food was strange, drinking wine daintily was odd and had it been Sigyn instead of Thor he would have broken down laughing. As it was he agreed with the observations Thor made about the low quality of Midgardian entertaining. He meant most of it too. They didn’t talk much. Nevertheless, the evening was a success from Loki’s point of view. It was the first time he had ever spent any time alone with his husband. Apart from Thor’s visits to his bedchamber, during which they didn’t really talk. If nothing else, this might convince Odin that his son was shaping up as a husband and that Loki was a good spouse.

 

The next experiment was for them to go to the cinema. Tony had booked them lounge seats. Loki could see what they were for, but it just made him uncomfortable. He knew he needed to be intimate with Thor again soon, they needed an heir. But not in a cinema. Luckily, intimacy didn’t even seem to occur to Thor. He cheerfully told Loki that he had meant to visit a cinema for ages, but had never found the time or opportunity. And once the movie started, Loki forgot all his apprehensions too. While he took in the movie, his mind was trying to come up with ways to recreate this amazing technology on Asgard or even Jotunheim. Thor approved when he told him about that idea after the cinema. That was another success. Hopefully Heimdall had watched. (Loki only talked about bringing it to Asgard. Not Jotunheim. Thor had not been brought up to see Jotunheim favourably).

 

While Thor and Loki continued to go on small private outings, the Avengers, and especially Fury, were getting nervous about Von Doom. So far von Doom hadn’t attacked again. Fury had visited twice to discuss the threat. He made it clear, that he expected Loki and Thor to cooperate more. Given the seriousness of the threat they faced, Fury told them sternly, they couldn’t afford unknown variables on their side.

Natasha was sent to Europe to find out what Von Doom had planned next. Loki could just hope that whatever evil plan that man had could wait until after Odin decided to bring Thor and Loki back to Asgard. He had Jotunheim to save. He had no desire to get involved into protecting Midgard too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I appreciate all comments. I still haven't managed to finish watching Ironman (my computer didn't like Netflix for some reason and it kept crashing), so I am still not too sure about Pepper and Rhodey.  
> Let me know if you spotted any mistakes or glaring inconsistencies/OCness
> 
> (The other Avengers will figure a bit more prominently in future chapters, I promise. I love Tony and Steve).


	9. Battling over ice cream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki tries to enjoy ice cream with Thor (and Steve) but they are rudely interrupted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry for the long delay. Several events in RL gave me a terrible writer's block from which I am trying to recover. I expect to have finished the next chapter by the beginning of January at the latest, however.

Loki was sitting on a flimsy chair at a slightly sticky wooden table. His husband was sitting opposite him, on a likewise flimsy chair. The thing looked positively fragile filled with Thor’s bulk. Thor still looked weird in Midgardian clothes. He was currently wearing a white t-shirt that stretched over his broad chest and blue jeans. The cheesiest picture of a beach hung behind Thor. But Loki was blissfully happy. They were currently in an ice-cream parlour and Loki was sitting in front of a large bowl of mint-chocolate chip and cookie dough ice cream. And next to that treat was the largest size of iced coffee the place had. This was a pleasure neither Jotunheim nor Asgard could offer.

 

The third chair at the table was occupied by none other than Steve Rogers, otherwise known as Captain America. His official reason was that he was there to make sure they didn’t kill each other. Everybody knew the real reason. The ice cream parlour Pepper had suggested to Loki and Thor had been established in the 1920’s. It boasted with its old-fashioned treats. Perhaps Steve had even been there when he was younger. He had ordered a malted milkshake and seemed to be in his own private little heaven. Loki and Thor, both quick eaters, were barely halfway through their treats, when a loud slurp announced that Steve had reached the end of his milk shake.

“I’m going to get myself another glass.” Steve pushed his chair back. “I had no idea how much I missed this.” He smiled nostalgically. “Although, back then I wouldn’t have been able to afford two on the same day.”

With that happy thought he walked back to the counter. The two teenagers staffing the counter had a little scuffle as they vied for the honour of serving the gorgeous man.

 

Loki watched the scene, grinning when Steve let himself be drawn into a conversation. Steve did realise that those two young girls were flirting. Thor interrupted his private amusement.

“The first time Jane took me to a Midgardian tavern, I was confused,” Thor said out of the blue. 

The fact that he still said ‘tavern’ revealed much about his current state of confusion. Loki just nodded, but turned to his husband. Thor contemplated his spoon as if it was a foreign object.

“She was quite patient with me. And I think her friend Darcy considered me an endless source of merriment. I should have been lost without those two kind ladies. Jane organized clothes for me and provided a place to sleep. She even tried to protect me from S.H.I.E.L.D. Jane is very brave. Her kindness to a stranger, not only a stranger to her, but to her entire world, was a gift I could not expect upon my arrival here.”

Loki clenched his fingers around his cold glass. Yes, he understood why Thor had fallen for Jane. But just like Loki, she was not Aesir. She was from a race traditionally considered to be inferior. It was the only one of the seven realms that was completely oblivious about the realms, for crying out loud. All the six other realms were aware of each other. (Five really, considering that Bor had erased the Dark Elves of Svartalfheim). Only the Midgardians, with their short lifespans and short temper, were oblivious. They knew so little. And yet, Thor had been immediately willing to bond with one of them. But he had never even tried to get to know Loki, his consort. As if the Jotunn were not superior to the Midgardians. At least from the point of view of their power, their life span and their knowledge. 

Loki realised that his thoughts had drifted while Thor was still talking, when Thor looked at him with a thoughtful expression. 

“Do you think I should call Jane and apologize?”

Loki lifted his eyebrows.

“I am sorry, are you asking me for advice on how to reconcile your lover?”

Thor blinked. A muscle in his jaw twitched, but then he shook his head carefully. “No. I realise that it would be highly inappropriate. However, I wish to remain her friend and to let her know that I am aware that I wronged her.”

“Well ….” Loki had to call upon his will power not to start screaming. What about apologising to his consort first? 

 

Before Loki could get any further in his reply a scream broke through the idle chatter around them. Thor’s chair clattered to the ground as he threw himself down just in time to evade a direct hit by a bullet. It splintered the picture behind him. A split second later, Thor’s hand curled around Loki’s calf and tugged him down. The iced coffee Loki had held in his hand splattered all over him and Thor. 

 

From his new vantage point on the sticky floor Loki could mainly see Midgardian legs. Customers tried to get away from the front entrance and their table. Something was wrong with the legs of the person that moved from the entrance towards their table. The gait seemed unnatural. Thor’s large hand held Loki’s head down, so he couldn’t see much more of their assailant.

“Von Doom’s minions have found us,” Thor whispered needlessly. Loki had deducted as much. He was more worried about the fact that the bot was still shooting. The table they were hiding under didn’t offer much protection. He tried to remember the spell to shield both himself and Thor.

 

A swishing sound and a gust of air was the only warning before the large bot crashed to the floor in front of them, Steve’s shield stuck in his middle. A moment later Steve was crouching next to it. He wrenched his shield out and held it up to protect them as the window shattered. Shards were flying everywhere.

Thor jumped up under the cover of Steve’s shield, finally releasing Loki. Loki lifted his head carefully , trying to make sense of the situation. A bot was jumping into the parlour through the shattered window, another entered through the open front door. Steve blocked the one that had come in from the window. Thor had thrown himself against the one at the door, crashing his shoulder into his middle. They landed on the floor with a loud clang. 

 

The sound seemed to spur the Midgardian manager to action. He came bustling out of the store room and shouted.

“Come along, come along!”

His voice barely carried above the terrible din of the fight and panicked voices. But the customers were already cowering at the back of the shop. They hurried through the newly opened escape. Loki pushed himself into a sitting position, trying to figure out what to do. He should shield himself, maybe try to help Thor and Steven ….

 

“Run, Loki.” Thor broke through his tentative plans, his eyes still focused on his enemy. 

“I …”

“NOW!”

Loki hesitated, but then Steve shouted “Go Loki!” and he jumped up, running after the humans. From this position there really didn’t seem to be much he could do to help. The parlour was small, and Thor and Steve were hampered by the chaos of fallen chairs and tables already. 

 

From the storage room/office a door led to a back alley, were some dozen of humans now huddled. Loud banging could be heard from inside. Thor's shout followed by a mighty shock wave that could be felt even through the back door told Loki that Mjolnir had found its way into Thor’s hand.

 

“You were with them!” One of the teen-aged employees accused Loki. “So tell us. What the fuck is this about?”

Loki ignored her, even when one of the former customers, a middle-aged woman in a pink dress, added. “Did they come for you? What were you thinking, putting us all in danger like that!”

Loki looked up and down the little alleyway. It seemed to lead to a side street, not too far off. Good. 

“We shouldn’t stay here,” he said, as another blast from Mjolnir shook the back door. Everyone seemed to agree, even if two or three tried to get a glimpse through the little window at the back. That was a futile and stupid endeavour in any case and Loki ignored them as he walked ahead.

 

He was the first out into the street. They were just around the corner from the parlour. The clanging and screeching sounds of metal meeting metal could be heard distinctly. Some people in business suits were running past them. Loki pointed in the direction away from the battle, where the runners were headed.

“I suggest, you follow them as fast as your little legs can carry you,” he told the Midgardians. “You will get hurt if you attempt to observe the battle.”

“What about you?” the manager asked. The woman in the pink dress dragged her daughter away, following Loki’s suggestion.

“Those are my … my friends.” Loki didn’t know why he didn’t admit the husband part. “I will get closer to see how they fare.”

 

Loki headed in the direction of the battle. He ignored the hand of the manager, who tried to restrain him. Even though he was a tiny giant, no ordinary middle-aged Midgardian was strong enough to stop him. He needed to see what was going on. Steve was his friend and Thor his husband, whether he liked it or not. Behind him, sirens sounded. A police car sped past him. Loki laughed. Puny policemen would be of little use, apart from securing the perimeter.

 

And indeed, just as he wanted to round the corner, a meaty, bald officer in uniform jumped out of the car and moved to block him.

“I am sorry, sir, you can’t go through.”

“My husband is fighting there,” Loki informed him coolly.

“I am sorry to hear that.” He didn’t seem sorry at all. 

“I need to get to him.”

“You are not with the Avengers, are you?”

“I am their friend.”

“Are you a superhero?”

Loki nearly laughed at the suggestion, despite the serious situation.

“You can’t go through,” the man repeated. More police cars pulled up behind them.

 

Loki contemplated to use magic to get rid of this pesky Midgardian, just as Ironman and War machine whooshed right over their heads. As the policemen were looking up in wonder, Loki raced past them and around the corner. He didn’t even know why he was so intent to get to the battle. He was not a trained fighter. Yet he couldn’t allow anything to happen to Thor before the contract was fulfilled.

He pressed to the wall now, partially hidden by a large potted plant. The fight, from what he could see, had moved out and into the street. Sparks were flying as the Avengers decimated the small attacking band of bots. Loki didn’t count more than ten, including those already down.

 

When he tried to get a better look and stepped a bit further into the street, one of the defeated bots hurtled towards him. At the last moment, Loki remembered the spell and raised his hands to shield himself. The bot crumpled to the ground in front of him. A slight movement on the opposite side of the street attracted Loki’s attention. Hidden in the shadow of a delivery truck was a bald man. He was staring right at Loki. The man extended an arm, to beckon or to command, Loki wasn’t sure. He was struck by his sudden awareness of what was wrong with the man’s face. He was not bald. Even in the shadows the glint of light on his head revealed that he was wearing an iron mask. Von Doom. Why was the man skulking in the shadow? From what Thor told him, he was much stronger than the small force he had sent against them combined.

 

As Loki contemplated how to alert someone to Von Doom’s presence, Tony landed next to him with a clunk.

“Come on, Loki, let’s get you out of here, buddy.”

“Tony, don’t you see …”

“This is no place for you.” Tony didn’t even look in the direction Loki was pointing at.

“Tony …”

“It’s okay, we’re winning, no problem.”

“But …”

 

Thor’s pained scream had Loki spin around to look for his husband. Before Loki could figure out what happened, Thor’s scream faded into a whimper. He collapsed onto the pavement. For a moment, everything seemed to slow down. Thor couldn’t be down. Loki had never seen Thor defeated. That just didn’t happen. War Machine was right in front of Thor now and Loki could see how Rhodey had earned that name. He flung a bot that was advancing against the wall on the opposite side and crouched down in front of Thor.

 

“We need to get you out of here,” Tony reiterated, just as Natasha ran around the corner, gun in hand. 

“I really can’t leave you alone, can I?” she asked rhetorically. “Look what I find, as soon as I am back.”

She was firing at the bot facing Thor and Rhodey while she spoke. Rhodey took the opportunity, as his assailant turned around to assess his newest enemy, to lift Thor up and fly away. Before Loki could react, Tony had picked him up as well and followed his friend.

 

As Loki was carried away in Tony’s arms, he could see Steve and Natashae) winning. Steve was slicing through the last remaining doombot with his shield. Natasha speared it with a steel table leg she acquired from who knew where. Loki tried to twist in Tony’s hold to see where Von Doom was, but the spot where the man had been was deserted. 

 

Once they were back in the tower, Rhodey swiftly marched to Thor’s room where he put him on the large bed. He nearly tripped over the small laptop Tony had given Thor and which was laying on the floor. Thor was still clutching Mjolnir, but once he was on the bed, his hand relaxed and the hammer dropped onto the floor. Tony’s Iron man suit had started to come off as soon as he entered, but Rhodey was only now divesting himself of his metal gloves. Thor appeared to have sustained merely minor wounds on the outside. But when Tony first yelled at him and then slapped him, he showed no reaction. Rhodey, meanwhile, checked Thor’s pulse.

“He seems to be fine. I don’t know what his heart rate is supposed to be, but he has a heartbeat and he is breathing evenly.”

A deep voice from the door answered him. “I am glad to hear it.”

It surprised no one to see Nick Fury striding into the room. Nevertheless, Tony got up and blocked his way.

“Do I even need to ask how you managed to enter my top-security tower?”

“I convinced your security to let me in.”

Fury didn’t look any happier than Loki was. He looked from Thor on the bed to Tony and Rhodey.

“What happened.”

“I am certain you saw the security footage on your way here, sir.” Rhodey shrugged his shoulders. “Doom’s bots found Thor, Steve and Loki in an ice cream parlour and attacked. Your own people let us know, we flew there as fast as we could. Just as we arrived, Thor was hit and fell.”

“From what we know,” Fury glared at Loki, “Thor is much more resilient than a human. What has happened to put him into this state?”

“They seem to have targeted him specifically,” Tony answered nonchalantly. “My guess is that Von Doom is as aware as we are of Thor’s strengths.”

“And isn’t that just marvellous.” Fury sighed. “At the very least, we will have to examine him now …”

“No you will not,” Loki interrupted him. “I will examine him. Just leave now and I will tell you of his state once I have done so.”

“I am not …”

Jarvis interrupted Fury. “Sir, Captain America and Black Widow have just landed on the helipad.”

“We’re on our way.”

Tony attempted to push Fury out of the door, an endeavour that was hopeless now he was out of his Ironman suit. However, with on last glare at Loki, Fury turned around and left the room.

 

Loki breathed a sigh of relief when they were all gone, even though he knew he would have to follow soon. He needed a moment to gather his wits. What would happen if Thor died before Loki could fulfil the contract between Laufey and Odin? The scenario was unthinkable. Loki looked at Thor’s unconscious form on the bed. He absentmindedly wiped Thor’s cheek with his finger. There was a smudge where Loki had splattered him with coffee earlier.

“You will survive, you utter bastard,” he informed his husband, moving his finger under Thor’s chin. “Do you hear me?”

Of course Thor showed no sign that he could hear him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That was the first fight scene I wrote in my life (I think). I hope that in a few months, I can look back at this and laugh at my clumsy first attempt because I am going to improve SO much. I hope. I also hope you enjoyed the chapter nevertheless!


	10. Caring

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thor is injured and has to eat some humble pie

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is an explanation for my slow updating at the end - it is very personal, so just ignore it, if you don't want to know :) It also explains some of my attitude towards Thor's behaviour, which seems to be a worry for many readers (and I am glad it is!)

Loki took a deep breath. He had never examined anyone before, at least not an Aesir. He had on occasion made sure that Helblindi and Byleistr weren’t seriously injured after a hunting trip. And he had been present when Jarnsaxa, Helblindi’s consort, gave birth to a stillborn. That was all. But he knew Aesir weren’t that different from Jotunn. Thor was breathing quite regularly. It seemed pained, but he was breathing. That was good. Breathing was good. 

Rhodey had already checked the pulse, but Loki did so again. From what he knew, his pulse was slow for an Aesir. And very weak for a strong warrior like Thor. On the plus side, he had a regular pulse. Loki took a deep breath. Now for the difficult part. He had to figure out what Doom had done. And that meant undressing his husband.

A clever Jotunn would not have kicked everyone who could have helped out of the room. Rhodey or Tony could have helped to strip Thor. Loki rubbed his hands together. He could do it. Luckily Thor wasn’t wearing his armour in Midgard. That should make it easier. The white shirt could be pushed up easily enough. He winced when his hand came into contact with Thor’s skin. Clammy. It was clammy now. That wasn’t right. Thor was supposed to be hot and dry. Not good.

There was ugly bruising where the blast had hit Thor. But the skin wasn’t broken. Loki put his hand gently on the bruise and tried to remember which organ would be underneath. Nothing important, as far as he remembered. Then he remembered. Solar Plexus. That wasn’t too bad. Although Thor should have recovered by now. Loki frowned.

His tentative and inexpert examination didn’t yield much further results. Thor seemed to have some slight difficulty with breathing, his blood pressure was weak and he had a slight fever. There might be some internal bleeding, but Loki couldn’t be sure. He hoped not.

Finally, Loki gave up. He wasn’t a healer. He had acquired some knowledge about the healing arts, but he had never learnt how to properly examine a patient. Thor was not in mortal danger, he decided. At some point, Heimdall must have looked towards them. If Thor’s life was in serious danger, Odin would send Thor back to Asgard. One hoped.

It was already dark outside. Time for him to inform the others. Knowing Fury, the man would be on the edge already.

*

Loki drew himself up to his full height before he entered the room. He might be small among Jotunn but he could impress with his height here. Every eye was upon him as soon as he opened the door.

“How’s the big guy?”

Tony spoke first, of course.

“He will live,” Loki said curtly. “His body is in a state of shock, but he will recover.”

“Glad to hear it.” Fury leaned over the table, fixing Loki with a hard stare. 

“We have evaluated the footage from the security cameras in the area. It is clear that Thor was the specific target of this attack.”

When they all realised that Loki wasn’t going to say anything in response, Tony shrugged.

“Here. Let us show you.”

Loki tried not to blink when the image suddenly appeared in the room. Holographs were replaying the battle. Tony paused it.

“And there we have it. The gun looks identical to the others, at first. But notice how he is holding it differently. The impact when discharged is much stronger.”

It was the last bot. The one who had shot Thor. Fury nodded.

“Our experts are already salvaging the remains of the bots and their guns. We will examine that thing.”

“It must have been specifically designed to harm Thor.” Steve looked directly at Loki as he said.

“And it did,” Loki replied, feeling that he should contribute. “But not fatally.”

“Bad enough.” Fury hit the table with his fist. “Von Doom is experimenting. He is testing us. Those ships a few weeks ago - he must have known they were not strong enough to get even close to the shore. But we took the bait and sent out the Avengers. And now he tested Thor.”

Rhodey nodded gravely. “That is the most likely explanation for this. There was nothing else to be gained.”

“But Von Doom must know that we figure that out,” Natasha remarked.

Tony shrugged. “He’s a cocky bastard.”

“Reminds me of someone.” Natasha scowled. “So what are we going to do? Wait for him to attack again?”

“Unless we find out where he is hiding.” Fury stared at Natasha now, who seemed unfazed.

“Just to make sure,” Steve asked the gathered group. “We are fighting against a man who is known as a genius. And we reside in the flashiest tower of New York.”

Loki grinned and couldn’t help adding. “It must have taken a lot of effort to make this the flashiest tower in an already unbearably flashy city.”

There was a pause. Then some laughs.

“That’s correct,” Rhodey affirmed.

“I never believed in hiding,” Tony proclaimed. “Let the world know I am Ironman. Let them know where I live. I don’t play hide and seek.”

Rhodey rolled his eyes. “You’re reckless. And Loki has a point. It’s not only you, Tony. What about Pepper? And your other employees?”

“I will protect them.”

“Kids. Don’t argue.” Fury stepped in front of Tony. “We are under attack from a madman. Concentrate on finding out where he is hiding and how strong he is. He needs to be destroyed before he does more than destroy an ice-cream parlour and inconvenience an alien.”

*

As they all filed out, Loki looked sideways and out of the window. He still hadn’t told them that Von Doom had definitely been present. It was valuable information. But somehow he was reluctant to share it. He preferred it if everyone continued to think of him as useless accessory to Thor. He had enough trouble with his own world. He didn’t want to get too involved in another struggle even though he felt himself to grow daily more attached to the group. 

He watched the street below. Once he had seen the black car speeding away with Fury, he went out to the hallway. Pepper waited for him there. It was a familiar sight by now. She smiled.

“Is there anything we can do for Thor, Loki? I know you don’t want to get a doctor, but we’ve got a lot of medical supplies here. The guys always get beaten up. Especially Tony.”

“That would be very helpful, Lady Pepper.”

“I told you to cut out the ‘lady’ nonsense, Loki.”

He laughed.

*

The tower really was really fully equipped for all emergencies. Loki was once more grateful for All Speak. While talking was no problem, it always took a moment until he could read other languages such as Aesir or English, but soon enough the descriptions on the medicine became legible. He was quite sure the white pills didn’t contain the very green Asgardian herbs he read on the package, but he assumed that the properties would be comparable. Some of the packages had names he was unfamiliar with, so he had to assume he either didn’t know the equivalent or it didn’t exist.

As he read the description on one of the bottles containing a liquid he realised that this was nearly identical to the brew Lady Harpa had described to him nearly a year ago. Hadn’t she said that it helped restore a warrior’s power when his body had received a shock? The Vanir and Aesir were close cousins, so surely anything that restored a Vanir warrior should restore Thor?

It took him more than two hours to look up the various ingredients, guesstimate how much would be in an actual herb in Asgard, remember the quantities of the brew and calculate how much of what medicine he needed to add to the concoction. But he was very relieved that he did remember at all. 

Pepper had promised to order chicken soup from a nearby restaurant. Apparently her family swore that it would restore sick people. Loki wasn’t so sure if the type of food mattered, but it would be good to have something that was easy to eat up once Thor woke up. 

When he was done, Loki looked at the bottle with immense satisfaction. Now he just needed a way to force-feed Thor. He was looking forward to that.

*

Later, when Loki settled down to sleep, it occurred to Loki that this was the first night he would actually spend in Thor’s room. A ridiculous notion. They had been married for nearly four years now, but Thor had never spent the night in Loki’s room. Actually, this was the first time Loki was in Thor’s room at all. He was relieved that Thor was unconscious during this experience. 

*

Loki felt uncomfortable on the field bed Pepper had provided. He assumed that Midgardians might find them more comfortable than a field. As a Jotunn who had grown up sleeping on hard ice, he briefly considered sleeping on the floor instead. The only reason he decided against it was that he had found out that in Asgard sleeping on the floor was considered very lowly and humiliating. He didn’t want Thor to wake up and see him lying on the floor.

Just as he had made himself comfortable, he got up again. He should check Thor’s vital signs again, before he fell asleep. Once that was done, he settled back on the uncomfortable bed. Should he face the door, to be alert when somebody tried to enter so he would face an intruder? Or face Thor, in case Thor woke up? He settled for facing the door. Thor was hardly a threat right now.

*

“MOTHER!”

Loki nearly fell out of bed when he heard Thor’s scream. It was the middle of the night, as far as he could tell.

“Thor?”

“Mother!” 

He didn’t react when Loki scrambled out of his bed. But when he turned on the light, Thor flinched on the bed.

“Mother?!” he repeated in an angry, petulant voice. His face scrunched up and made him look like an upset little boy. Then he scowled fiercely.

“Mother! Come!” Thor’s voice was laced with anger now.

Loki recoiled. That reminded him more of Thor in a jealous rage. It was a relief that Thor was half-conscious. But Loki didn’t dare to touch him. He wasn’t sure if it would soothe or enrage Thor at this point. He wasn’t Frigga. Thor’s eyes were still closed, but he looked ready to cry.

“Mother?” His voice was quieter now.

Loki still didn’t dare to even move.

*

Then he felt ridiculous and decided that Thor needed water. Or if Thor didn’t want it, Loki could surely do with a glass of nice cool water. Thor kicked his legs wildly as soon as he got up and turned around.

“Come back!”

Loki turned back in confusion. Thor’s eyes were still closed. He was clutching at his blanket. How could he possibly know that Loki was about to leave?

“No!” Thor struggled weakly with his blanket. Mjolnir jumped up and into Thor’s hand. Loki made a few hasty steps backwards until his feet collided with Thor’s laptop on the floor and crashed down onto his bottom. At least he was out of the swinging rage. Mjolnir in the hand of an unconscious, but irate Thor. That couldn’t be a good combination. Thor opened his mouth again.

“Please! No!”

That should have been Loki’s line not Thor’s. As Mjolnir began to swing gently, Loki cleared his throat.

“She cannot come right now, Thor.”

Thor blinked. He turned his head towards Loki, eyes bleary.

“What?”

“Your mother cannot come right now, Thor. But it will be all right.”

“Hm.” Thor closed his eyes again. With a small thud Mjolnir fell on the floor again.

“I am going to get water and food.”

“Hm.”

*

This time Thor didn’t try to stop him when he left. In the hallway he instructed Jarvis to tell him when somebody came to the room. If Tony overrode that instruction, there was nothing he could do of course. But he doubted that either S.H.I.E.L.D. or Von Doom would come right now. When he returned, water and soup in hand, Thor was mumbling something Loki couldn’t make out. Thor didn’t react when Loki tried to speak to him, so he drank some of the water and tried to settle down again.

No such luck. Thor continued to shout for his mother from time to time. Loki tried to ignore it. Thor didn’t call Mjolnir in his hand again, that was the most important thing as far as Loki was concerned. Thor mumbled in between, sounding angry, but Loki couldn’t make out most of what he was saying. He tried to, just in case Thor wanted something fetched. 

*

An eternity later, Thor actually began to demand water in his sleep. He was actually talking to his personal servant in Asgard, but Loki jumped up. He was glad he already had some in the room. A clever nurse would probably have made it ready before going to bed. He hesitated when he stood next to Thor with his glass of water. Thor was still demanding “water” in his half-sleep, but he could hardly drink laying down. Loki crouched carefully next to Thor and poked him with his little finger.

“Thor. Sit up. I’ve got water.”

“Hn. Water.”

“Yes, water, come on, sit up.”

Thor just hit the bed next to him, but not very hard. Loki took that as a sign that Thor wasn’t really in a subconscious rage and dared to shove his hand under Thor’s shoulders to push him up. He tried to be gentle, but Thor was too bulky for that, so he ended up putting down the water glass and pushing and pulling his husband until Thor was semi-awake and managed to push himself up.

“It hurts,” he grumbled, clutching a hand to his chest.

“Drink your water.” Loki put the glass to his lips. “I’ll give you more of your medicine then.”

Thor blinked, looking utterly befuddled. He took the glass with a shaky hand. Then he waited quietly until Loki had measured another cup of his make-shift brew, swallowed and then settled down again, without any more protest.

*

The night was quiet after that. Thor turned around frantically from time to time, but Loki managed to fall into an uneasy slumber. He woke up when the sun shone directly in his face. He would really need to talk with Tony about this automatic window blinds nonsense. Thor didn’t ‘seem to be bothered by the light; he looked almost serene now. Hard to believe that he had been so restive during the night. When he opened the door to the room, he found that someone had already put a tray with breakfast there. It was nice to see that the others cared.

*

It was some time after breakfast. Loki was reading an article on healing plants in the state of New York. He was interrupted when Jarvis’s voice sounded in the room.

“Nick Fury and Agent Coulson are on their way.”

“Thank you, Jarvis.”

Loki put the article on the nightstand next to Thor’s bed. This confrontation was inevitable.

A moment later the door opened. Fury was accompanied by a man who carried a small machine. The scanner Thor objected to, Loki guessed.

“Fury. Nice to see you.”

“I wish I could say the same.” Fury looked as grave as always. “Loki, I explained yesterday. We cannot afford to know less than Von Doom.”

“You do not trust Thor?”

“This isn’t a matter of trust, and you know it. We need to know how to protect Thor.”

Loki didn’t believe that motive for one second. In his experience, no one was this charitable. Fury had the not wholly unreasonable worry that aliens like Thor would invade his world. In his place, Loki would strive to find out as much as possible too. But he wasn’t in Fury’s place. His husband had given him explicit orders regarding this situation.

“I cannot let you do that. Thor is ill. It would be dishonourable to take advantage of his weak state.”

“I don’t give a fuck about your damn ‘honour.’ The safety of my people might be at stake here.”

“I fail to see how.”

“Oh, don’t play stupid now, Loki. I know you’re not.”

“It would make more sense just to check the gun, that hurt him. I …”

Loki stopped. While he faced Fury, the other man had calmly walked past them. Loki would admire his sangfroid later; right now he was furious to see that he had activated the blasted machine.

“Don’t,” he hissed. Before he could make a conscious decision, his hand was outstretched. Coulson cursed and let the thing drop onto the floor. Ice crystals had formed on the outside.

When cornered, he still resumed to the first magic he learned, Loki mused. He felt detached from the situation for the moment, as Fury cursed and took a step forward to Coulson. The agent lifted the scanner gingerly up from the floor. He saw and heard everything as if from far away.

“It’s useless now, he froze it,” Coulson informed Fury. Then he turned to Loki. “Interesting skill you have there.”

Loki blinked, willing himself back to reality.

“I am quite skilled,” he agreed. He kept his voice even. It still didn’t feel real. He should not have demonstrated the essential magic of the Jotunn.

*

A choked sound from the bed made all three of them turn to Thor. Thor’s head was turned towards them, his eyes half-lidded but his mouth was pulled into a laugh.

“Good to see you awake, Thor,” Coulson greeted him.

“Son of Coul. I am glad to see you healthy and working.”

“You’re not. But thank you.”

Thor smiled faintly. He turned his hazy blue eyes to Fury.

“You learned something about Loki’s power today, Fury,” Thor said still clearly amused. “I believe you can leave me alone for today.”

“I’m glad you recovered.” Fury fixed Thor with a hard stare. “But I advise you to be more cooperative in the future.”

“We are here to help,” Thor said with a smile. 

Fury grit his teeth but gave Coulson a sign to leave. For the moment, Fury retreated.

*

When the door closed behind the two men, Thor looked to Loki and nodded. Loki quirked his eyebrow in confusion.

“Well done, Loki.” Thor said. His voice was still weak. “I believe you can sit down now. They are gone.”

“For now.”

“Yes. Pull the chair over to the bed, so we can talk?”

It took Loki a moment to process that request. Then he did as Thor had suggested. Suggested. Not demanded. Thor looked at him, his blue eyes very serious.

“I dimly remember last night. You cared for me. Not one of the Midgardians.”

“I remembered your instructions from the first day and thought it unwise to let them get too close. Of course I didn’t plan to freeze the machine.”

Thor smiled faintly. “It was unavoidable that they learn more about us, giving the length of our sojourn here. But I need to give you my thanks. Whatever you have done, worked. I was not aware that you were well versed in the healing arts.”

“I learned much from Sigyn.” Loki paused for effect. “And the brew I chose was the one Lady Harpa described to me during the feast in Bjarke’s halls.”

Thor groaned.

“So I not only need to apologize to those two ladies. I also need to give them my thanks.”

Thor didn’t look too happy about that. Loki inclined his head.

“As you need to apologize to and thank the Lady Jane. Just to answer the question you posed before Von Doom interrupted us so rudely.”

“I should not have asked you that question.”

Loki didn’t reply. 

“I just wanted to explain my connection to Jane,” Thor tried again. It still seemed to pain him to speak. “When I trained with Steve before we went to get ice cream, he told me that in this Midgardian culture it is considered insensitive to invite one’s mistress into the home one shares with one’s spouse.”

Loki had to laugh despite himself. Thor frowned.

“I apologized for offending his sensibilities. And explained that it would be at least unusual in Asgard too. But I thought back on that afternoon. What I said. And what Jane said.”

Thor shifted uneasily on the bed.

“She was never my mistress. But in the interest of honesty, I believe we would have become involved had we had the time. Her behaviour during her visit here confirmed that we had an unspoken understanding.” He sighed. “Asgard and all my duties seemed so far away.”

Duty like his marriage?

“As Crown Prince, your duties are never far away.”

Thor closed his eyes and sighed. “Yes. I should have learned that when I was banished here. An ordinary Aesir would not have been banished to another realm for being impudent towards his host’s wife.”

Nor would he have been forced to marry a Jotunn. They were silent for a while. Then Loki rose.

“You must be hungry. I brought Chicken Soup earlier, but I am afraid it is cold now. I will go to the kitchen and heat it up.”

“Thank you.”

Loki shook head as soon as he was out of the door. Did Von Doom’s machine affect Thor’s head? He was sure Thor had never uttered his gratitude this often in his entire life. 

*

In the evening, Loki went for walk on the huge platform of the tower. Thor was awake now and able to fend for himself for a while. Walking on the platform was one of Loki’s favourite activities. The air was not exactly fresh here, but better than inside. And especially better than it was on the streets. The petrol fumes from the cars made him dizzy. Having grown up in the ruins of a palace in a world without pollution, he could not understand why any creature would voluntarily live in such a place. Up here, on one of the tallest building in the area, there was always a bit of a breeze; and not too many buildings obstructing the view.

*

He slowly walked to the edge of platform. From up here, the city seemed unreal. It reminded him of the view over Asgard from the Palace. The view was that of a detached observer, not of somebody part of that world. He remembered similar feelings on the mountain behind the palace in Jotunheim. He had always loved those high viewpoints. From this perspective he still felt like an outsider, but up high it seemed right. He felt more powerful.

Lost in his dreams he nearly missed the movement on the roof of the next building. It was a long way down. Loki leant over the handrail to get a better look. Yes. The tell-tale glint of metal. Green cape, metal face. The clues shouldn’t be hard to miss for the supposed security surrounding the Stark tower. As he looked down, Von Doom lifted his hand and waved to Loki. Then he turned around and strode away over the roof. As if he mocked the lacking security of his enemies. Loki watched him climb over the railing on the other side of the building. Loki walked inside. 

When Tony asked him if he saw anything remarkable when he hung over the handrail, Loki just said that he was still fascinating by New York. He soon went back to Thor’s room. Only now alarms sounded and through the window in the corridor he was in, he could see Tony in his Iron Man suit speeding towards the next building. Too late.

*

Thor had asked him to sleep in his room again, just in case. His husband was already sleeping when he entered. He still seemed too big for his bed. When had he started to consider Thor, who would be a small frost giant, to be big? Loki contemplated his sleeping husband for a while. Should he tell them about Von Doom? He really didn’t want to get involved. But his future hinged on Thor’s safety, and that seemed to be very much compromised if Von Doom targeted Thor. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First note: My knowledge on medicine is negligible. So the medicine Loki gave Thor has no real equivalent in Midgardian medicine, at least none that I know of. Nor is Thor’s condition anything specific, I am afraid.
> 
> Second note: I actually have a tumblr. I haven't quite figured out what to do with it yet and how to behave on tumblr, but here it is anyway:  
> [my Tumblr](http://chelidona.tumblr.com/)
> 
>  
> 
> And the third note. I need to warn you: The following bit will be something very personal (and likely deleted by the next update), but it addresses some of the concerns in previous comments more directly.
> 
> Several commenters have doubted that Thor can change and that there can be a happy ending for Loki in such a marriage. I am happy that many people who read this story take this topic seriously. While I plan a happy ending, I want to make sure that every reader (hopefully) understands that I am taking the topic of spousal/domestic abuse very seriously. There won’t be a bit of magic and *boom* Thor is a great husband and all is forgiven. They will both have to work for it (and especially Thor).
> 
> The main reason why I feel I can write the story like this is that Loki truly doesn’t have a choice. I would advise anyone who can escape such a relationship to do escape! 
> 
> While I am writing this, I am sleeping on the couches/guest beds of friends and family. I had to run away from my husband. I won’t go into detail about what happened. My husband is not a monster, he is ill and refuses proper treatment. Fun times. From my point of view, Thor has many redeemable characteristics my husband doesn’t have. (Like he never threatened to kill Loki. That’s a plus in my book). 
> 
> When I started the story, I was still with my husband and still had hope. Looking back to summer, I think that is where my original inspiration came from but it also shows me that I already knew deep down that it was hopeless. I am aware now that this story is partly a fantasy for me; I wish that my husband could have changed and that things could have been different. 
> 
> But by making the story about two Norse Gods that made into the Marvel Universe and who have to fight either for their homeworld (Loki) or to save another world from a super-villain (Thor) I removed it far enough from my life to make sure I don’t forget that it _is _a fantasy. Especially because Thor is not like my husband at all, apart from the whole “I have no idea how to treat my partner correctly” thing. Of course people _can_ change in real life. I have seen that happening. But it is usually too dangerous (for body and mind) to hang around and find out.__
> 
> Now that I preached that: This is also a reason why I don’t know how regularly I will update and everything that happened in the last year is also one reason why the quality of my writing tends to fluctuate dramatically.


	11. Tempting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki receives an offer. It comes with a price.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry it took me so long to update! And it's such a short chapter too! I thought I cut it off where I did, so I would have something to upload.

A week after Thor’s recovery and the attack, boredom settled in. Nobody, apart from Loki, had seen Von Doom and neither Natasha nor any other S.H.I.E.L.D. agent had been able to track him down. All they had managed to do was find an abandoned bot factory, from where the attack was launched. Pepper decided that this was no reason to stall all recreational pursuits. She asked Loki to come shopping with her. Loki was not overly fond of that, but he did like to get out of the tower occasionally, so he complied willingly.

***

They were in one the flashy “malls” Midgardians seemed to love so much. There was barely anything in those shops that would be of interest to a frost giant. If he ever saw his brothers again, they would be so amazed by his descriptions. He could just picture Helblindi’s consternation. He was brought back to the present when Pepper shoved a dress practically into his face.

“Loki? What do you think of this one?”

“It looks like three others you’ve already got?”

“That’s the point Loki, they all look professional.” She sighed. “I’ll go to try them on. Will you wait here?”

“Sure.” He was relieved that she didn’t expect him to pass judgment on how those things looked on her. Just when she was gone, he was startled by a gravelly voice close to him.

“Loki?”

Loki turned tentatively towards the voice. He frowned. There was nobody there.

“Your name is Loki, correct?”

It was a mannequin next to him. Its mouth had opened a fraction.

“What are you?” 

“You know who I am,” the mannequin replied. “You saw me. Twice.”

“Perhaps.”

Loki moved fractionally closer to the mannequin.

“And yet, no one came after me. You didn’t tell anyone, did you?”

Loki pressed his lips.

“I know you didn’t. Yet you are associated with the Avengers?”

“I live with them,” Loki conceded.

“You do not fight with them. But I have seen what you are capable of.”

Loki couldn’t help but smile at that. He tried to keep his voice neutral.

“I do not fight.”

“That seems to be a waste. Is this by your own volition?”

Loki didn’t answer, and Von Doom chuckled. It sounded mechanical.

“My first thought was that you are their new secret weapon.”

Loki had to suppress a grin, but again, he didn’t answer.

“But I have come to the conclusion, that they have no idea of what you’re capable of.”

Von Doom couldn’t be aware of it, Loki thought. He had seen him defend himself. Nothing more. Although. That was more than any Midgardian would ever accomplish without technology.

“Are they afraid because you are not human?” Again, a mechanical chuckle. “Yes, I know that.”

Loki gritted his teeth.

“What do you want? Why did you manipulate this thing?”

“I know that Miss Virginia Potts frequently shops in this mall, and I know that she frequently goes out with you. It was only a matter of time.”

Loki frowned. So Fury and the others had been right. It had been dangerous just to go out.

“I wish to make you an offer,” Von Doom continued. 

Just like most men in Loki’s life, he didn’t seem to need answers to continue a conversation. 

“For whatever reason, the Avengers and S.H.I.E.L.D. do not know of your powers. Your position among them must be weak.” 

A chuckle when Loki’s expression gave away the truth of the statement. 

“I can give you more. I’m in the final stages of my plan for world domination. It merely needs fine tuning. You could be that last part.”

“Part,” Loki replied mockingly. He was certainly not going to be a “part” or rather “pawn” for anyone.

“The last part of the plan and my second in command.” There was a pause. “You are the first person to have ever been offered such a position. Make no mistake Loki. My plan will succeed, with or without your assistance. You can be at my side, making it quicker and easier. Or you can be on the side of my enemies. And you will be vanquished with them.”

Loki frowned. He doubted that. Somebody like Von Doom would not expose himself like this if he were one hundred percent certain of success. No. He needed Loki.

“I will think about it.” He tried to keep the excitement out of his voice but wasn’t sure he had succeeded.

“I will contact you again. Meanwhile, you might want to get away from here.”

“Why?”

There was a short silence.

“I always make sure to erase my traces.”

Loki took the cue and ran. Moments later a deafening bang rained down chaos.

*

He was thrown backward against a concrete column. On instinct he swung his body around and flung his arms in front of his face. Something hit his forearms. His leather jacket had deflected it. The impact as he hit the column knocked the wind out of him. As he slid down to the floor, a dull pain was throbbing on his back. He groaned. A sharp smell brought him back to reality. Fire. Of course. The eerie silence in his head subsided and he became aware of a loud buzz in the background. Screaming. People were screaming. 

He carefully pushed himself up, bracing himself against the column. Acrid smoke filled his lungs. He became aware that his vision wasn’t blurred. It was smoke that impaired his sight. He stumbled away from it. A woman lay crumpled on the floor. He nearly fell over her. On instinct, he crouched down to help her up and dragged her out. She was heavy and his eyes started to water. Loki was barely out of the shop’s door, when a man snatched her away from her. The man rasped out something that sounded like “thank you”.

*

Loki tried to take a deep breath. His lungs burned. Smoke was everywhere. Less thick than inside. He looked around, trying to ignore the panicked screams and the rush around him. Von Doom hadn’t just planted that one bomb. Several shops were on fire. What a waste of resources. Von Doom must really want him. That thought elated him for a split-second, and then he remembered he had not come alone.

“Pepper?”

Loki looked around frantically. A blond woman ran past him, her handbag slammed into Loki’s hip. It wasn’t Pepper. 

“Pepper!”

Loki turned against the current of customers, running away. She had been in the changing rooms when the explosion happened. His eyes had adjusted slightly and he fought his way towards the changing room, kicking and pushing turned over clothes racks and other debris. The blast had toppled the wall dividing the shop from the changing rooms.

“Pepper?” he coughed out.

“Hey.” She was leaning against a wall, trying to catch a breath. On her right side, her blouse and trousers were shredded. She smiled feebly.

“Loki!”

A split second later he was at her side and lifted her up. He ran towards the exit as fast as a battered Jotun carrying a human could. Behind them, something crashed. They didn’t turn around to look. Loki tried to ignore the collapsed people on the floor. He had to concentrate on getting Pepper out. His friend.

They were nearly at the entrance when firefighters hurried towards them. 

*

Outside, it was mayhem. Huge fire trucks blocked Loki’s sight as they made their way around firefighters trying to quench the flames. The police were cordoning off the area, pushing back gawping onlookers. Sirens howled as more ambulances arrived. People were sitting on the ground, their faces grey. Some were tended to by paramedics, others comforted each other. Confused shoppers were stumbling about the cordoned off area, some on their phone talking, some filming the fire. Loki scowled when one directed his camera towards Pepper. Before he could do anything he would be supposed to regret, a policeman had approached the young man and led him away, to the area where those who seemed unharmed were gathered. 

*

Loki stayed with Pepper as a paramedic checked her wounds. He looked wistfully at the burning building. Von Doom’s offer had been tempting. The man had seen him and decided that he was useful. He felt himself choke. If he took the offer, Odin would consider the contract void and Jotunheim was lost. Instead of conquering the world, he had to return to his subjugated position.

A coughing fit interrupted his train of thought. His throat burned. How had he not realised before? A hand fell on his shoulders. His eyes were still streaming with tears, as he turned around to look into a paramedic’s stoic face.

“Come with me please.”

Loki waved an impatient hand at the paramedic.

“I’m fine,” he rasped out. “Just a mildly irritated throat.”

“You need to be examined.”

Loki shuddered at the words and shook his head.

“Really, it’s nothing.”

Before the man could argue, Pepper’s phone rang. Her hands were just being treated, so she looked up and asked Loki to pick it up. It was Tony.

“Loki here.”

“Loki? Where’s Pepper?” Tony asked sharply. “Why can’t she pick up the phone? You were at that mall, what ….”

“Pepper is next to me,” Loki interrupted the flow. “She has sustained some minor wounds and is currently treated.”

There was a brief pause. Loki could hear the clicking of a button.

“I’m going to send a car.”

Tony hung up before Loki could answer. Pepper smiled weakly.

“He’s going to send a car, isn’t he?”

Loki shrugged.

“Yes.”

The paramedic looked at her. “Ma’am, you should come to the hospital. We need to examine you. There might be internal bleeding. And your friend needs to be checked for smoke poisoning.”

“Don’t worry.” She still smiled. “My boyfriend will make sure that there will be a thorough examination. He just feels better when he organizes that himself.”

Loki could see that they weren’t happy about that. But there were still people left untreated, so they had no time to argue about the decision. It only took 15 minutes for a limousine driver to arrive, argue heatedly with the police guarding the area and Loki spotting him and dragging Pepper over. Luckily, he hadn’t had another coughing fit and his nausea was subsiding.

***

As Pepper had suspected, Tony had already summoned two doctors to the tower and whisked Pepper away to an examination room as soon as they arrived. The man was paler than Pepper. Loki was greeted by Rhodey, Steve and Thor (oddly enough) who all asked if he was okay. He rolled his eyes when Thor even asked for a second time.

“I assure you, I am unharmed. My throat is sore and I have some bruising, but I am not fragile.” He directed the last bit at Thor. His husband better remember that he was a frost giant not a delicate Midgardian. Thor nodded.

“Indeed.”

While Pepper was still getting every check-up that was possible, the other Avengers assembled in the dining room to eat. Loki was not hungry at all, but it was time for dinner.

****

Loki was still mulling over the events at the mall when Thor’s voice broke into his thoughts.

“What ails you?”

Loki looked up from his soup in surprise. His husband was looking at him with his clear blue eyes neutral for once.

“I am fine.”

“Something is troubling you,” Thor contradicted. “You have been brooding since you returned from the shopping mall.”

“Well, I was in the middle of an unexpected conflagration today,” Loki pointed out waspishly. “And my back is one big bruise.”

He gritted his teeth when he noticed that he had let that slip. Thor frowned. 

“You said you were unharmed.”

“Well, Pepper’s lacerations seemed a tad more important.”

Loki took a deep breath. He hadn’t realized how snappish he was around Thor these days. But Thor didn’t seem to mind right now. There was only a tiny crease between his eyebrows.

“You were right of course. But now that she is cared for, I am certain that an ointment can be procured for you.”

“I know where Lady Pepper keeps her medicine.”

“That is fortuitous.”

“Do you need help to apply it?” Steve asked. Loki immediately glanced to Thor. It had been a while since Thor had been in a jealous rage, but he doubted that Thor would appreciate Steve rubbing ointment in his back. But Thor’s expression didn’t change.

“Just come to the sitting room,” he instructed. “We will all take a look to ascertain how serious your wounds are.”

“Bruises, not wounds,” Loki corrected him, but he knew he couldn’t quite hide his relief. The situation was averted, and Thor didn’t heap disgust on him for his frailty. He was sure that neither Helblindi nor Byleistr would have been bruised as badly in the situation. His body wasn’t as robust as he would like it to be.

*

Thor, Rhodey, and Steve decided that while his back was littered with bruises, he didn’t sustain serious wounds. Loki couldn’t stop himself from telling them “I told you so.” Thor was the one who ended up rubbing the ointment on them but Loki found he wasn’t bothered by the physical contact in this situation. Thor acted as if Loki was a comrade who had sustained some light injury, not a spouse he owned. Once he was done, Loki found himself looking at the sky outside the window. Would this satisfy Odin? Could this be counted as a success? He really didn’t know. Odin had never been clear. He just wanted to know if there was any chance of fulfilling the contract.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This probably isn't the best chapter I've written for this - apart from all my personal stuff, my original plans for the middle of the stories didn't work so I had to redo it. On the bright side, I already wrote the last three chapters and I think they're rather good :D
> 
> In other news, I've got a tumblr now. Wheehee. Anyway, I seem to blog mainly hobbit stuff atm mixed with Marvel, Tom Hiddleston and randomness, but you're always welcome to message me there: [my tumblr](http://chelidona.tumblr.com/)


	12. A new place

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the attack at the mall, the Avengers get closer to their enemy. Thor actually starts talking to Loki.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know for a Thorki fic, there hasn't been terribly much interaction between Thor and Loki. That changes in this chapter, I hope you enjoy!

Loki could not find sleep that night. Part of him still wanted to take Von Doom’s offer. The man had said he would contact him again. It would be so easy. Loki knew enough about the Avengers; his knowledge and power combined with Von Doom’s genius and means would make them unstoppable. They could take control of Midgard and …. Suddenly he saw the ruins of Jotunheim. He bit into his pillow to muffle a frustrated shout.

This was the kind of thinking that had landed him in this situation. Laufey (and Farbauti) had believed they could overcome Midgard. Odin had made it plain that he would not suffer any takeover of this world. Loki was not sure if Odin would lift a finger to protect Midgard from one of their own. 

However, Loki was fairly sure that Odin would not suffer a frost giant to rule over Midgard. He might suffer Von Doom. But not Loki. Moreover, Loki wasn’t sure if Von Doom’s army would be able to defeat Asgard. So in addition to dooming Jotunheim, he would probably not get to enjoy power over Midgard for long. 

Loki was not sure he would ever satisfy Odin in his role as Thor’s spouse. But with luck, he would die before it was too late for Jotunheim and then Thor would be king. It was a shame Midgardians had so short lifespans. Nevertheless, while it was a distinct possibility that Odin might die within the Avenger’s lifetime, Loki had to convince them to be on his side. Thor might listen to his friends. Helping Midgard know could only help Loki’s cause. 

*

With that sliver of hope in mind, he got out of bed. All was quiet. He padded towards the communal areas. He was in luck. There was light coming from the kitchen. Loki silently prayed that it was not Natasha. She did not trust him. When he cautiously opened the door, he was surprised to find both Rhodey and Steve in the kitchen. They were sitting at the table, drinking some coffee. Both looked surprised when Loki walked in. Of course, both were always very polite, so they both got up to offer him something to drink. Loki declined, and got himself some water. Then he sat down at the table and took a deep breath.

“I have a confession to make.”

Rhodey looked at him even more severely than normal. Given Loki’s usual paranoia about being overheard in this building, it was understandable. Steve frowned too.

“A confession? What is it Loki?”

“Well.” Loki bit his lip. “I should have said something right after I arrived. It all still felt surreal, though.”

“What did?”

Loki tried to keep his voice even. “You speculated who is responsible for the attack on the mall, is that right? You wondered if it was a coincidence that Pepper and I were there? Even though we’re not part of the team?”

“Yes, that …” Steve started, but Rhodey cut him off, as he stood off.

“Von Doom.” He looked at Loki, his mouth pulled into a stern line. “Loki. You know.”

“Yes.” Loki squared his shoulders. “It was Von Doom.”

Steve looked at them. “How … was he there, did you see him?”

“No.” Loki swallowed. This was the hard bit. “Von Doom was speaking through a mannequin that then exploded. He asked me to join him.”

Steve put down his cup. Rhodey sat down again. Loki didn’t need more hints that he should elaborate.

“I do not know how. Nevertheless, Von Doom knows that I am not Midgardian; he knows that I reside here but do not fight. I assume he believes I am kept here against my will, that I am as powerful as Thor and that I can provide him with inside information, of course.”

Steve rubbed his head. “This is really too much at this time of night.”

Rhodey looked at him. “We need to notify Fury.”

“Now?” Loki asked, feeling a bit too tired to face the man.

“Yes, now.” Rhodey looked up, a silly habit most of them had. “Jarvis? Contact Fury immediately.”

And of course, Jarvis did.

*

Half an hour later Loki recounted his slightly edited story in front of the sleepy Avengers, a disgruntled Fury and an assortment of S.H.I.E.L.D. agents. He left the part where Von Doom witnessed him doing magic outside of the ice cream parlour. It made Von Doom’s motivation to contact Loki a bit mysterious to S.H.I.E.L.D. and the Avengers but they apparently believed Loki. Fury was not the only one who was displeased that Loki had not told them in the evening (”a reasonable time”) and assembled them all at night. Fury had agents dispatched to the mall to try to rescue what they could find of the exploded mannequins. Loki privately thought that they should have done so anyway. Meanwhile, the Avengers trudged back to bed. Just before Thor went into his own room, next to Loki’s, he turned to his spouse.

“He asked you to join him?”

“Yes.” 

A crease appeared between Thor’s eyebrows, as he seemed to think hard. “Why?”

“I cannot tell you.”

He did not care if Thor caught the hidden meaning there, that Von Doom knew about the magic, but Thor nodded slowly. “He is a genius. He must know what he is doing.”

They both retreated into their chambers without exchanging more words.

***

Loki did not know how, but S.H.I.E.L.D.’s agents, including Natasha and Clint (whom he hardly knew), believed they had tracked Von Doom to a place called Greenland. Part of it had to do with evidence from the mall disaster. 

Fury thought it wisest to send them all there; the busy little bees in the employ of S.H.I.E.L.D. had found a house for rent soon enough. Loki gathered, from the complaints of his housemates, that Greenland was a cold place. He was thus the only person looking forward to the mission.

It was just assumed that Loki would come with them. He had not been sure when Fury announced the move if he was invited to come along or not. However, he was never even asked, he was just reminded to pack his bags. Presumably, nobody knew what else to do with him. 

Pepper also came with them; her injuries were far less severe than they appeared at first. Tony fussed over her like a mother hen, but even he had to admit that Pepper was recovered enough to come with them. She would only stay one week anyway, she explained Tony patiently when he fretted about the cold weather. After that, a helicopter from Stark Industries would pick her up and carry her to a meeting in Norway. “Greenland is basically on the way, dear.”

***

Upon arrival, Loki was stunned to find out that Greenland was not, in fact, very green. Instead, it was a gorgeous meagre and craggy landscape. Behind the house S.H.I.E.L.D. had rented for them, the hill sloped upwards to a stony, icy peak. The ground was covered in snow, disrupted by rocks. Even in his current form, which approached the Aesir, he was much more tolerant towards the cold than they were (and they were more tolerant than the Midgardians). 

The others just looked bemused, as he walked outside in a T-shirt while it was snowing, as soon as they were settled in.

It was gorgeous out. Loki relished in the cold feeling as the snowflakes covered his bare arms even as they shuddered in their jackets. He closed his eyes and walked a little bit further. For a moment, he could just ignore that he was in Midgard, that he was married to Thor, that the continued survival of his race depended on him. He was back in Jotunheim, a child, having escaped the others and fooling around on the hill. 

He only realised that he had indeed run up the hill when he heard his name shouted from far away. He turned around and found his husband walking up to him, wrapped up in a bright blue jacket. His bubble burst, and he stopped, waiting for Thor to catch up.

When Thor did, he scrutinized Loki. The look on his face was unreadable.

“I think this is the first time I’ve truly seen you happy,” he finally said.

Loki blinked, not sure what to do with that statement.

“I do enjoy the snow.”

After another moment of silence, when they both looked out into the valley, Thor spoke up again.

“I know you do not need it, but Pepper said she is going to prepare some hot tea and Tony promised a hot drink with alcohol later on. And it is time for dinner soon.”

“Something scalding, I presume.” Loki was still in a good mood. “Let’s walk back down then.”

“Yes.” Thor gave a tiny smile. “I was actually sent to fetch you.”

***

After breakfast the next morning, Pepper suggested a walk. She liked the landscape and Loki’s admiration for her went up a notch. Tony whined something about “work” but was forcibly dragged outside by Pepper. “The others can try to figure out where Doom is hiding without you for a while.” Thor and Loki were the only others who were willing to go. Not only Loki was surprised when Thor announced his desire to join them.

Loki could tell Pepper was freezing - she was huddling inside her jacket and despite wearing gloves, she had pulled her sleeves over her hands. Tony tried to pretend the cold did not affect him that much but did not succeed. He had his hands stuffed deep inside his jacket. They were walking fast; Pepper had told him once that she liked walking fast in winter because it warmed her up.

Thor and Loki followed them more slowly. Loki relished every little crunch of snow and ice under his feet. It was blissfully silent until Thor spoke up.

“Is this much like Jotunheim?”

That was the first time Thor ever showed interest in Loki’s home and he was stunned.

“Jotunheim?” Loki looked around. “Well, a bit, maybe.”

“I’ve never been there. Tell me, what is it like?”

“Beautiful.” Loki found himself smiling, then he pointed to a huge jagged ridge looming not too far distant. Snow just barely clung to its steep slopes. 

“That mountain could be in Jotunheim, but in Jotunheim, we have more snow and ice. You can tell that this is fresh,” he stomped his feet at the snow on the path, revealing the mud beneath it, “and that it melts every year. It never melts back home.”

He looked around.

“I believe in Jotunheim this entire valley would be filled by a glacier. And even everywhere else, the ground is covered with sheets of ice and everything is frozen. The land is riddled with precipitous ravines too sublime to describe. But like here, there are no trees to disrupt the landscape.”

Thor remained silent for a moment. “Do you miss Jotunheim?”

There was no point denying it after he had just sung its praises.

“Yes,” he admitted, therefore. “I’ve come to see the softer charm of Asgard and even Midgard, but I think I will always hold them inferior to the frozen glory of Jotunheim. Our realm has never thawed and we hardly see our sun. There is nothing like it.” 

They strolled silently again. By now, they had lost sight of their companions. Finally, Thor cleared his throat, a sign of nervousness Loki had never heard from him before.

“If you miss Jotunheim, don’t you want to return there?”

Even Loki needed a moment to formulate an appropriate response to that.

“That is an idle question, Thor. I am married to you and as the crown prince of Asgard that is your natural home.”

He realised what he had said. Thor was currently banished from Asgard. He added quickly:

“And we will return there soon, I am positive.”

“Yes, but if you could ….”

“I cannot.” Loki narrowed his eyes. “Where are you going with this, if I may ask? Do you intend to send me back to Jotunheim?”

Thor bit his lower lip and looked away.

“No, I do not. I am sorry.”

Thor apologized to him. Miracles were happening. (Even if the question was as stupid as he had come to expect from Thor.) He smiled grimly.

“Then Asgard is my home now and that is the end of this discussion.”

Thor nodded. He seemed about to say something but a scream shortly followed by parts of Tony’s Iron Man suit whooshing passed them had them both running around the next bend, looking for their companions.

*

Tony’s Ironman helmet and the armour on his left arms was not yet on, but the moment Thor and Loki rounded the corner, Tony was thrown into an inlet by two Doombots. A third one advanced towards Pepper, who was desperately waving a heavy stick against it. Loki was beside her in a second, throwing her onto the ground as the bot started shooting.

He looked at Thor, who distracted the two other bots, while Tony clambered out of the water and up the bank. He stood up awkwardly. The armour was vibrating as Tony shivered violently; his lip had turned an attractive shade of blue. Attractive had he been a frost giant. He stomped his feet, and tried to shake out his arms, lips trembling. Helmet and arm armour lay on the ground. 

Pepper whispered “Tony,” but Loki held her down. She could not go to him now. They were still under attack.

As he shielded Pepper and himself, heedless of revealing this power to her, he saw Tony trying to charge the bot that attempted to attack Thor. A clang and Pepper’s shriek told him what happened, as he concentrated on their attacker again. The bot tried to fling himself at them, and with a burst of Loki’s protective magic, he was repulsed and stumbled back a few feet. Loki breathed deeply. A surge like this was draining. Protective magic alone was not going to help them. 

Loki got to his feet in front of Pepper. The bot was approaching again. Cryokinesis, his brain supplied. He was a frost giant. He could form weapons out of ice. He let a spear form in his hand and bit his lips. Cold. Norns. In this form the ice in his hand burned. He threw it quickly against the bot. It bounced off its metal exterior and shattered. 

He should have remembered that Frost Giants used real spears, not spears made out of ice. He and Pepper backed down; Loki managed just in time to put up a shield to deflect a shot. 

Right. The Avengers had fought them in close combat. He took a deep breath and forced himself to stand still. Everything seemed to be in slow motion. The bot approached. Loki focused on his body. It grabbed him; it had probably decided that shooting would not work. Loki’s concentration broke. He breathed through the pain of its grip around his neck. He needed to transform his arm. 

The bot crumpled when Loki jabbed his ice-knife in the crack between its arm and torso. Loki let the dagger grow inside the thing for good measure. Not easy, the short-circuits caused sparks which melted the rock-hard ice. Then the sparks stopped and Loki decided that the thing was truly dead now. 

Loki looked to the others. Tony was lying on the ground. Mjolnir was in Thor’s hand now. He stood in front of Tony, bashing Mjolnir into the head of one of the bots. The hammer bounced and Thor was thrown back several feet. Loki took a step back as well. But while Thor got up again, the bot’s head had separated from its body. 

The last bot turned around and flew off. Thor sent Mjolnir after it, but the thing avoided the hammer, which bounced off a rock. It disappeared around a bend. 

Thor’s face darkened with hatred and Loki instinctively backed away. His hand returned to its Aesir form and the dagger melted. He looked around again.

Pepper knelt next to Tony, but when Loki came closer, she glanced up.

“We need to get him out of the suit. You need to help me.”

It was not as easy as it first appeared. Tony had not designed the suit for ease of being forced out of it. While they were working, Loki looked at Pepper.

“Please don’t tell anyone what I did.” His voice was a whisper and first he was not sure Pepper heard him. She seemed solely focused on Tony, rubbing the exposed parts of his body to warm him up. Then she nodded tersely.

“Of course.”

A shadow that fell over them told Loki that his husband had come closer as well.

“The others will be here soon,” Thor assured them as if it was necessary. Of course, they would. The others had certainly noticed first the Ironman suit and then Mjolnir flying away. They couldn’t be far.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case it is not pathetically obvious: I am not a native speaker and I'm also not the most gifted writer. I'm sort of in desperate need of a beta (seriously, it makes me anxious just to upload a chapter, knowing how much must be messed up). Please let me know if you're willing to beta future chapter or if you know someone who does. As usual, my tumblr is [here](http://chelidona.tumblr.com/)  
> (you can also just talk to me without the obligation to beta read of course :p )


	13. Unfolding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Events in Midgard come to a head.  
> Thor has a revelation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, I am SO sorry this took so long. On the plus side, this is WAY longer than my usual chapters, because originally those were supposed to be two chapters. I had to change a few things, so there didn't seem to be a good break-off point anymore, so there you go :) Loads of things happen.
> 
> Secondly, this chapter has been betaed by Theladysadie - thank you so much, that helped relieve my anxiety and got rid of some mistakes :)
> 
> Thirdly: Thank you for all the kudos! They sort of scare me, but also make me very happy :)

15 minutes later, they were back at their house/base. As soon as they arrived, Fury ordered a helicopter to evacuate Tony and Pepper. Tony did not look too happy about it, but he was still too weak to protest. Rhodey slapped his shoulder as he was carried out and promised Tony to “give them hell.” It seemed to cheer Tony up a bit.

*

Meanwhile, a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent on the helicarrier had located Von Doom’s base with the help of satellites that were already trained on Greenland; now that they knew where the bots had attacked and when, it was easy to trace them.

There was an abandoned mine further down the track that they had been walking along. Loki nearly screamed. An abandoned mine? And they hadn’t thought to check that before they let part of the team stroll about for a walk? Fury told them that the area was littered with old mines, but he seemed embarrassed.

*

The old mine was close to them. Much too close for comfort. The consensus was that Von Doom had sent the bots as scouts, but now that he knew they were aware of his presence, they couldn’t afford to wait. Von Doom certainly knew more about the territory than they did. The decision to stage a surprise attack was, surprisingly, unanimous.

 

The ships from Thule air base in the North and of the Danish navy which was patrolling in the area would probably arrive too late to help in the battle, but they would be there in the aftermath.

*

Despite the vote for a surprise attack, it seemed an endless amount of time that they were studying satellite pictures of the area. They were looking for ventilation shafts in the mines, Thor explained to him. Anything to help them attack from more than one side. Loki asked Thor quietly if that was a good idea. Von Doom was a technical genius; it was unlikely that he would have overlooked securing something as obvious as ventilation shafts.

 

Natasha was the one who pointed that out at the big table. The discussions continued until a plan was formed. It was, by necessity, not the most subtle of all. But it was a plan that involved Loki.

*

As Loki waited in the hallway for the rest of the team to get ready, he could hear Fury talking in another room.

“Bombing Greenland is no fucking option. People live here.”

There was a pause.

“Yes, not as many as in New York.”

Another pause.

“That’s stupid.”

He did not hear any more, the others were already outside and waiting for him. But he sincerely hoped that Fury could talk whoever that was out of bombing Greenland while they were fighting Von Doom. It would solve the problem, but he didn’t trust Heimdall to be quick enough to save him and Thor.

***

Above them, planes took off from the helicarrier flying towards the mine. Natasha drove the car that took them to the mountain. Von Doom likely had surveillance that told him of their approach, but the planes started attacking the ventilation shafts to distract him. Guns were hidden in the mountain and fired back at the planes.

*

After they had gotten out of the car, Loki could hear his heart pounding furiously as they crept towards the suspected entrance. The buzzing from the planes and the constant gunfire echoed in his head. The entrance was easy to spot; Von Doom had just taken care to make it appear derelict. Natasha gave a signal and one the planes dipped down and fired at the entrance.

*

The gate broke down with a thunderous roar. As they rushed over the slippery ground, small debris hit them. They shielded themselves as well as they could. Rhodey, whose armour protected him, led them in.

*

The first shot was fired before they even set foot into the mine. It bounced of Rhodey’s armour. The guards were not prepared enough for them.

 

The entrance to the mine was narrow; they all climbed over Rhodey’s victims. Some of them were bots. Some were Midgardians. There was no time to differentiate between them.

*

The corridor opened to a wider hall. Mayhem broke out. They were attacked from three sides. Thor swung his hammer to the left, and five enemies flew against the wall. Steve crashed himself into five more at the right. Rhodey was still taking out enemies at the front as if it was child’s play. Natasha and Clint dealt with those that evaded Thor and Steve.

***

Loki took his opportunity to slip away. He pressed close the wall to the left and ran into the hallway their attackers had come from.

He was no use in direct combat, all he could do was stealth. He took a deep breath. This should be the easy part. Crafting illusions was his skill.

Looking like one of Doom’s minions was easy. The harder part was to walk around this place naturally without any idea of what their routines were. He still was not even sure what he wanted to do here.

Of course, he could just hide in a corner, wait until the battle was over and then pretend he was knocked unconscious or cut off. The others did not expect much from him.

But something in Loki urged him on. He was tired of being underestimated. And Von Doom had attacked one of his only friends. Twice. This was personal.

He had to do something.

Trampling alerted him to a small troupe of men running towards the battle. They did not look like soldiers, but each held a gun. He let them pass, hiding in a crevice.

When he encountered two stragglers, he did not hesitate. Before they could understand why the bot was holding such a weird dagger, they were dead.

Soon, the rough stone walls gave way to polished metal, and the floor became smooth. This was not the original mine. Loki could hear the distant sounds of his comrades fighting, but all was quiet here. The contrast was eerie. Finally, he reached a door. A vague humming noise could be heard from the other side.

The door opened to a large, deserted factory hall. The men he encountered must have been the workers. A quick look around told Loki that the machines produced guns. Just like the one that had struck down Thor in New York. 

He did not think most of the soldiers they encountered had worn them.

It did not cost Loki much to bring down the ceiling in the factory once he was in the hallway. The racket rattled Loki’s bones, and the dust made him cough, while half the hallway had caved in.

He hurriedly opened the door opposite the destroyed factory hall. A second factory hall that contained bots in various stages of development. They were crushed when Loki brought down this ceiling too.

He had to run when the hall became unstable and the ceiling there started to come down, large cracks ripping through the metal and rocks beginning to fall.

*

Just as he thought he was on safe ground again, a large figure appeared in front of him. Taller than most men, face a mask of metal and clad in a green cape. In his panic, Loki had let his glamour slip. But this man would have known with or without it.

“Loki.” Von Doom’s voice was as flat as in the mall.

“Hi.” Loki sneered. “You must be Von Doom.”

“You made a mistake,” Von Doom approached. Loki backed away, but a pile of rubble blocked his path. “This attack - this is an inconvenience. I can build a new army. None of you is powerful enough to defeat me. As you are well aware.”

“So why did you try to recruit me? You are not as powerful as you pretend.”

Under his mask, Von Doom laughed. “Oh, I am, little Alien. You had your chance. Now prepare to die.”

It was a stupid thing to say, but Loki could not laugh. Von Doom aimed.

Loki shielded himself. The force of the impact sent him flying against the wall. He winced. 

He conjured an image to get up and run towards Von Doom.

It was shot down immediately.

Loki replaced it. No time to think. He created as many Loki images as possible to confuse the enemy. Von Doom shot at them all.

A blast hit Loki. He was shielded but thrown back. He hit the wall. Again. The pain clouded his brain.

When the next shot came, Loki rolled away on instinct. 

When he looked up, Von Doom loomed above him. He gripped Loki and lifted him up by the scruff of his jacket. This close, Loki saw a tiny opening. 

He reached out with his hand. Ice. He needed to send ice into Von Doom’s armour.

Cold. In this form ice hurt. Loki kept going. Conjured more ice. Von Doom shuddered and flung Loki onto the ground. Loki could not brace himself in time.

He lifted his arms and tried to conjure up fog. Something to allow him, maybe, to crawl away. 

His body had never felt so big. It hurt everywhere. He heard Von Doom laugh.

Just as he aimed his gun at Loki, Mjolnir hit him on the head. The hammer repelled Von Doom several metres. But the man was still standing. Not good. Von Doom shot at Thor now.

A shadow passed over Loki. Rhodey. War Machine. He hovered in front of Loki and shot at Doom. Doom turned to him, and Steve’s shield collided with his neck. 

The dull thud was the last thing Loki noticed before everything went black.

***

When he woke up again, he was lying on something soft and was covered by a blanket. His body ached; he was convinced that his left arm was one big bruise, and his ribs and left hip were disturbed just by his shallow breaths. A whine escaped him.

“Loki. You’re awake?” Thor’s deep voice reached him. Loki lifted his eyelids high enough to make out a blurry shape sitting next to his bed.

“Where …” he groaned, not sure how to end this sentence. His mind was still hazy. Did he actually fight Von Doom?

“You’re on the helicarrier.”

“Good.” He paused. Something told him that he should say more. “What …”

“Victory was ours,” Thor smiled.

“The others …”

“S.H.I.E.L.D. lost a pilot. All of our friends live.” There was a small pause. Thor probably waited for Loki to ask for details, but right now he didn’t care. They won, everyone lived. The threat was over. He winced when Thor spoke again. Had his husband always been this loud?

“Do you require anything?”

“Something to kill this blasted pain?”

Thor, oaf that he was, laughed although there was a hint of regret in his voice.

“I will ask for painkillers, but we cannot be sure that they are powerful enough - your physiology is different, and you are severely bruised. I also suspect that you broke a couple of ribs.”

“That is quite certainly the case.”

“Can you move your arms?”

Loki glared at Thor, but the prince of Asgard did not back down.

“Try to lift your arms, Loki. Carefully.”

Thor spent some time examining Loki. After a while, Loki noticed that Thor was taking care not to put any weight on his right side, and the creases on his forehead had nothing to do with the state Loki was in.

“Thor? You were injured as well.”

Blue eyes darkened for a moment, then Thor nodded.

“The same weapon that hit me in New York, but I was in luck this time. I nearly evaded it, it only grazed my side.”

“Doom was upgrading.”

“Yes. I believe we caught him just in time. An army with his new weapons could not have been defeated this easily.”

*

There was a knock on the door and Rhodey entered. His face lit up when he saw Loki.

“Loki. You’re awake!”

“Indeed,” Loki smiled back. “Are you well?”

“Just some minor scrapes, I had worse before.”

“I am glad to hear it.”

Rhodey laughed as he came closer.

“You had us all worried Loki.”

“Am I the only one who was seriously injured then?”

How embarrassing. But Rhodey still smiled as he nodded, although Loki noticed now that he was closer, that the lines on his face were more pronounced.

“You’re injuries are not very serious, Loki. And you encountered Von Doom first and alone. You had weakened him before we got there.”

“He is right.” Thor looked gravely at Loki. “There is no shame in your injuries.”

“Well, that’s a relief.”

Pain lifted his filters apparently, but both Rhodey and Thor seemed to understand. Thor stood.

“I’m going to look for food. Loki needs to eat.”

Loki protested that he was nauseated, but both Thor and Rhodey were adamant. Rhodey stayed with him but mercifully, he was aware that Loki was in no mood for idle chatter. They just sat in silence until Thor returned with a tray piled high with sandwiches. The crown prince of Asgard serving food.

*

Loki gave in and nibbled on a sandwich. Thor had also managed to procure morphine from the helicarrier’s medical team, though, as he proudly told him, not without their explicit protest. The drug worked well enough, though, and Loki fell asleep soon after he finished his meal.

***

When they got off the helicopter that had landed them on the Stark Tower, they found Tony and Pepper waiting for them. Tony still looked a bit pale but greeted his friends cheerfully. Contrary to Loki, who was carried in on a stretcher, he was already standing again.

*

He did not have much time to be alone in his bed, once he was settled. Thor entered, with a bottle in his hand. He had saved some of the medicine Loki had brewed for him when he had been injured. Thor was still careful not to put weight on his right side now, but he insisted that he would not “waste” any, not until Loki was well enough to brew more. He also told Loki that Fury demanded to know what had happened to the part of Doom’s lair that had collapsed.

***

The next morning Loki already felt robust enough to hobble to the kitchen to get some coffee. Pepper was sitting at the table when he came in. She had iced coffee ready for him, and a lecture about getting himself in danger. He was touched she cared, but he was also glad when Rhodey and Steve appeared and told Pepper that Loki had played an important part. So far, the only important part he had ever played was being married to Thor. Said Asgardian joined them soon enough and insisted on escorting Loki back to his room.

*

There Thor first made sure that Loki was still all right. But he actually asked politely if Loki would remove his tunic for Thor to rub ointment on the bruises or if he would prefer somebody else to do it.

Loki wondered what happened to the man who nearly destroyed the diplomatic relations between Asgard and Vanaheim by exploding when somebody wanted to escort Loki to his room.

But there was no one he would have preferred for the task, so Thor did it with the practised ease of someone who had helped out wounded comrades for decades.

*

Thor busied himself with putting the ointment away again while Loki dressed. Then he sat down on the chair next to Loki’s bed. Loki sat down on the bed.

“You need to talk to me?”

Thor nodded. “There will be questions. A mountain does not just crumble. The government of Greenland will have questions. S.H.I.E.L.D. will have questions.”

Loki smoothed his hair. “I did not think that far.”

“I understand that. We did not have a proper strategy. The commotion created a diversion and drew Von Doom out. In the confusion, we defeated Von Doom’s creatures with speed and Von Doom had no time to play tricks.”

“True.” Loki dared to smile. “So?”

Thor shrugged his enormous shoulders. “I do not know how you did it. But I know you can deal with the questions.”

“You do?” Loki was surprised. “You do not want to tell me what to say?”

Thor frowned and shook his head. Then he lifted his hand and put it gingerly on Loki’s shoulder.

“Loki. I think we could deal better together.”

“What …”

That seemed to have no connection to what they had been talking about.

“You are my husband, not my servant. I will not tell you what to do. I know I have not treated you well in Asgard. The conversations I had here with the Midgardians, and with you and then the events with Von Doom have shown me, however, that I had acted dishonourably towards you.”

“I …” Loki wanted to agree so much, but he still did not dare. “That is harsh.”

But Thor shook his head.

“You were in a realm so radically different from your own, and you were to be alone with none of your own people to support you. It was my duty as a husband to help you find your place in Asgard.”

“Perhaps,” Loki smiled faintly. “But I was made welcome.”

“By some at least.” Thor sighed and rubbed his hand over his head. “I didn’t have any respect for you because you look like a man yet acted like a woman during the wedding. And then you were always meek. Not like Sif, or even my mother, who speak their mind.”

“They are remarkable.” Loki hoped that there was still a smile on his face. He did not know. Everything seemed strangely disconnected and out of balance. Thor nodded gravely.

“Yes. But I have learned much on Midgard. You have proven against Von Doom that you are not meek. You’re strong as a warrior.”

Thor fell silent, but Loki felt that he was not finished yet. So he remained silent too while he felt the tension inside his body unravelling. Respect from Thor was something he had not dared to gain.

“I have learned much,” Thor repeated. “I still despise meekness. But I realise now that it was natural in your situation.”

Because he could not think of anything else to do, Loki nodded. He tried to come up with something to say in return.

“I have never given you a reason to believe I was anything more.”

Thor still did not know why of course.

“No,” his husband thus agreed. “But in hindsight, you did look like you wanted to rip out my throat sometimes. Now that I know what you look like going to battle.”

They were interrupted by the loud and unmistakable sound of an Asgardian trumpet. Both jumped up. As they were already sprinting out of the door, the voice of Jarvis informed all occupants of the tower that a messenger had arrived on the terrace.

*

When they had made it there, the poor Einherjar seemed a bit uncomfortable surrounded by the Midgardians. Tony, Pepper, Rhodey, Steve, and Natasha were all already there and scrutinized the stranger. The Einherjar bowed in relief when he saw Thor and Loki approach.

“Thor, son of Odin, Loki, son of Laufey, the Allfather bids you to stand prepared to travel back to Asgard tomorrow noon.”

Thor nodded, his smile only barely hiding his excitement. “Tell the Allfather we thank him and will be prepared.”

Loki nodded as well. The “son of Laufey” rankled him, but he was too relieved to correct the man. A moment later, the Bifrost had taken the messenger back to Asgard.

“Your father doesn’t mince his words, does he?” Tony remarked.

“He is king of Asgard,” Thor stated as if that explained anything to Midgardians.

“Well …” Steve looked around. “We’ll just have to celebrate our victory tonight then, I suppose.”

“A party to celebrate our victory and to say goodbye to our friends!” Rhodey slung his arm around Loki’s shoulder.

His words dampened Loki’s good mood, but he did his best to smile. He would miss the Midgardians, he realised.

***

Fury arrived in the afternoon, and he did have questions for Loki. Loki pretended to have used one of the guns. He bore Fury’s lecture on having destroyed valuable evidence and all the extra work he had caused with indifference.

“Thor and I have helped you defeat your enemy,” he pointed out when Fury seemed to have said everything he wanted to say. “I understand your desire to protect your world. But I did what I deemed necessary then.”

Fury glared at him.

“And now you will leave just as mysteriously as you came.”

“Yes.”

“At the pleasure of Thor’s daddy.”

Loki laughed. “As the Avengers and agents move about at your pleasure, director.”

Fury barked out a laugh too. But the man sensed that he would not get more out of Loki.

“I hope that Midgard can consider Asgard, a friend.”

“Asgard as always been a friend to Midgard.”

“And Jotunheim?”

Loki froze for a moment. Had Rhodey or Pepper …. But no. Director Fury was just an intelligent and cunning man.

“Jotunheim too,” he said. “Though I will tell you this much, Director. Asgard is much stronger than either Midgard or Jotunheim. It’s Asgard friendship you want to cultivate.”

Fury nodded, and understanding gleamed in his good eye.

*

It was a party just as Thor enjoyed them. And even Fury participated. Copious amounts of alcohol were consumed, and Tony had insisted on ordering food from every cuisine in Midgard. They all seemed to be available in New York and no one, not even a Jotunn, would have been able to even sample half of it that evening.

 

“We will miss you as part of the team too,” Steve said as they were on the balcony and getting ready to leave. Thor smiled and clapped his back.

“Do not worry, my friend. I will ask Heimdall to keep an eye on our group. When you feel that you do require my assistance, do not hesitate to call for him. He will alert me.”

“That’s very generous of you, Thor.”

“Think nothing of it. I enjoyed my time on Midgard, and I have learned much.”

“We were happy to have you both,” Pepper smiled.

***

As soon as they entered the palace, Loki saw Sigyn beaming at him, and Frigga came forth to gently hug first her son and then her son’s spouse.

The golden palaces and the sea leading up to the rim of Asgard felt familiar now. Odin was awaiting them at the end of the rainbow bridge with a large, majestic smile. Both bowed before the king who announced that the very next day there would be a feast to celebrate the deeds of his son and his son’s spouse in Midgard.

One more feast. Thor looked very pleased with himself, but Loki knew that for him, this had only been the first step. Odin was pleased with the progress, but he was still a long way from fulfilling the contract.

***

Once both of them were fully healed, Thor took the opportunity to take Loki and fly to the mountains in the middle of Asgard. There was deliciously cold snow on top and no bots to attack them. Thor had not told Loki their destination when they took off and chuckled deeply when Loki practically threw himself into the snow.

“Do you like my surprise?”

“I love it!” Loki said, too overwhelmed to be anything but honest. “I never thought of asking to go here …. I could sometimes see this summit when the fog lifted, but somehow …. nobody seems to come here.”

“Maybe we should change that.”

Loki laughed and dared to throw a snowball at Thor. He had judged his husband correctly; Thor retaliated with enthusiasm. It was the most carefree time Loki had ever spent with his husband. This was the side of Thor he had hitherto only shown to his friends, never his spouse. Full of laughter, rambunctious, loud and bursting with good-natured competitiveness. When the Asgardian prince was shivering from the cold, he admitted defeat, and they headed back.

*

The next time they went, they took Sigyn, Sif and the Warrior Three with them. The snowball fight was fierce; Fandral stuffed Hogun’s tunic with snow, just to have the Vanir dunk him into a bank of snow.

All of them wondered why they had never done that before.

***

Loki never thought that he could have such a good time in Asgard. Sigyn was steadfast in her friendship; he could still rely on her. Now that his relationship with Thor was less tense, they were not even followed by Einherjar anymore, and Thor even encouraged him to take trips on the lake with Sigyn again. When he had time, he would come and join them, but when he did not, he didn’t show any jealousy. Sigyn was baffled by the change, but happy for her friend. Although she did point out that Thor was still watching all their interactions when he was nearby. It was something Loki could live with as long as Thor did not interfere.

***

He felt so good about the developments in his life in Asgard that it took him a while to notice that Thor was less cheerful than he used to be.

One evening, as they walked outside, taking the long route from the training grounds to the royal chambers, Loki voiced his concern.

“Thor. I do worry about you.”

A sad smile tugged at Thor’s lips. “I do not deserve your concern, Loki.”

Loki frowned. “You are my husband.”

“Because you were forced into this marriage.” Thor sighed and raked his hand through his hair. “I was a brute.”

“You’re not a brute now.”

“I hope not. Loki, I …” Thor stopped and looked up to the sky. “In Midgard, I began to realise what a treasure the Frost Giants gave us. Once Steve and Tony started to tell me that I should treat my spouse with more respect, and I was forced to see that my friends and comrades developed a fondness for you, I began to see you differently…”

Thor stopped himself. “I never took the time to get to know you after we married. You were just the prince I had to marry. I noticed you were beautiful, and it made me angry. I thought you chose an enticing form to manipulate me, and I resented how attracted I was to the spouse that was forced upon me. I have no excuse for my behaviour, I recognize that now. But I have come to love you Loki.”

He still looked at the sky, so he did not see Loki’s shock. Thor turned away, back to Loki.

“I will always regret what I did. Maybe you could have loved me, had I been kinder.”

With that, he walked away. Loki nearly ran after him. Then he tried to call for Thor to wait. But no sound came out. That had been wholly unexpected.

Loki could not begin to figure out what he could have said in response to this. It spoke volumes about Thor’s newly found empathy that he must have realised that before Loki did. Loki sat down on a bench, feeling weary.

_Maybe you could have loved me, had I been kinder._

Loki pondered that. Could he have loved Thor?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I hope nobody was disappointment by the battle against Doom thing - the problem was that while it was sort of a final battle for the Avengers, it was not THAT important as such for Loki's character development. Also, this Loki has never been a battle, contrary to the MCU Loki who had joined Thor in previous wars.  
> I tried to find a bit of a compromise.  
> As always, I LOVE to hear your thoughts on this.  
> I also have a [ tumblr](http://chelidona.tumblr.com) which admittedly mixed fandom and currently I reblog more hobbit stuff than MCU stuff.
> 
> I started to write and outline this long, long I watched Captain America: The Winter Soldier. I watched that a couple of weeks ago. I seriously considered rewriting the previous chapter to fit in Sam Wilson, my new favourite. But then, that would have delayed this further and I to be fair, fighting in a mine would not allow him to use his cool wings. Anyway. One regret.  
> (Actually I wrote this before I saw any Captain America films which explains why Steve a cardboard cutout in this story :D)


	14. Back home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things in Asgard do not go as planned. Loki must fight hard not to see all his efforts destroyed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think every chapter begins with me apologizing for my slow updates - I am really so sorry and thank you everybody for sticking with me! I really hope the next few chapters will not take so long. And as usual: Thank you so much for every kudos and every comment! The kudos overwhelm me slightly, but they also make me very happy :)  
> TheLadySadie betad this, thank you so much! I do feel much better about posting it now :)

Thor began to avoid Loki again. He no longer waited for Loki after lunch to go with him to the training grounds. He no longer asked for Loki’s plans for the day over breakfast. He did not act as rudely as he had when Loki first arrived; in public he took Loki’s arm, and he greeted Loki when they met. But their time together was limited to meal times and official functions again.

Although he was clearly doing this to protect his own feelings, Loki felt betrayed. He had felt so much closer to his goal, but then this oaf had to develop feelings. To Odin, it must look like Loki had done something to chase Thor away.

***

Two weeks after their conversation, he sent one of the servants to fetch Thor, after he had been on the lake with Sigyn. While he was waiting in his room, he put on one of his most revealing dresses. It clung to him, emphasizing all his hard edges. It still covered much more than Jotunn everyday wear, but his husband was Aesir. Loki then adorned his hair with a gold tiara and his neck with a torque in the form of a golden snake. His arms jingled with gold bracelets. The Aesir seemed to enjoy gold so much. Thor had admitted he had been enticed by Loki’s form from the first day. He had observed the Aesir enough by now to know that he was currently very enticing by their standards. He practiced sultry poses in front of the mirror.

*

Thor appeared nearly one hour later, dirt crusting his armour. Instead of weapon training, Thor had wrestled the day away in the mud because of the rain on the previous day. He stopped short in the doorframe, jaw slack as he took in Loki.

“Loki?” Thor’s voice was breathy but tinged with incredulity. Loki smiled and sashayed past Thor to gently close the door.

“Hello, Thor.” He was close enough to feel the warmth radiating from Thor’s overheated body. Thor’s eyes raked over Loki’s body.

“You are avoiding me again,” Loki said as silkily as he could, tilting his hip.

Thor’s gaze travelled over Loki’s face and searched his eyes.

“I told you why.” Thor’s hands twitched, but he did not move from his spot. “It is too hard for me … knowing I can never have you because of my own actions.”

“Surely the great Thor hasn’t given up,” Loki all but purred. “That is so unlike you. Won’t you even try to conquer me?”

The longing was plain on Thor’s face, and he opened his mouth to answer, but the sudden sound of trumpets swallowed his words.

“The alarm!” he shouted. He threw the door to Loki’s rooms open and ran towards the main halls. Loki followed and collided with Thor’s back - Thor had just managed to avoid crashing into a servant.

“The vault!” The man panted. “The Allfather ordered you to the vault.”

“The vault?” Thor nearly shouted and sped off before giving the man a chance to answer. Loki did his best to keep up with his husband, hampered by the hem and the long sleeves of his dress. The vault was one place he had never been allowed to enter, but he appeared to be invited now. Thor shouted back at him to keep up.

*

Loki froze as soon as they entered the vault. His eyes were trained on the casket. The heart of Jotunheim. He had never seen it before in his life, but it felt as if the casket was reaching out to him, singing in his mind of snow and ice.

Only slowly, he noticed the people in front of it. Odin was at the centre, a group of Einherjar and council members surrounding him. Loki lifted up his eyes and saw the looming figure of a robot; the Destroyer. Jotunheim was full of stories about the Destroyer, the legendary defender that prevented the Jotun from attempting to steal the casket.

Only, some Jotun had tried to anyway. There was ice on the floor, encasing the dead figures of two giants.

Loki recognized them as part of Helblindi’s guard.

His hands scrambled for purchase at the wall next to the entrance. This could not be true. As soon as he had made progress with Thor, his brother destroyed it in one fell swoop. The realisation that Odin might very well consider all his promises to Jotunheim void now tore at his insides.

He was barely aware that Thor had come back to his side again until his words penetrated the fog in Loki’s mind.

“We need to go to the council chamber.”

“Yes,” Loki agreed and let Thor take his elbow and steer him out.

*

The silence grew tight on the walk to the council chamber and as they waited for Odin to sit on this throne. Thor had his hand on Loki’s elbow, whether to soothe Loki or to guard him, Loki could not decide. Once Odin was seated, the Allfather fixed him with a hard stare.

“Loki, did you recognize them?”

All eyes were on Loki now. He considered lying for a fleeting moment. Helblindi was his brother and while in his role as heir he had always had less time for Loki than Byleistr, they loved each other dearly. On the other hand, his ill-conceived plan was endangering their entire realm.

Loki, prince of Jotunheim, took a deep breath. Fear almost clogged his throat.

“Andvéttr and Hariwulfr. Two of Helblindi’s most loyal guards.”

“Helblindi’s? Not your father’s?”

Odin’s voice was still harsh. The attack had shaken the old king. Loki, however, calmed down as he was speaking.

“No, Allfather. They swore loyalty to my brother, not my father. I doubt my father would have sent them.”

“Is it possible that Laufey knew nothing of this, then?”

Shaken, but more reasonable than Laufey would be in the situation, Loki had to acknowledge. He nodded, grateful for the opportunity.

“It is unlikely that my father was involved in this. It would be unlike him to trust such a task to anyone but his own guard. And my father would not be deluded enough to attack the vault.”

One would hope. Odin looked thoughtful. “I still wonder how they have managed to get into Asgard in the first place.”

He did not accuse Loki. But everyone’s eyes were on him. Loki stiffened.

“I assure you I had nothing to do with it.”

He noticed from the corner of his eyes that Thor had moved beside him.

“Father, my spouse had no part in this attack.”

Odin relaxed slightly.

“I did not mean to imply that.”

Those around him did not look so convinced. Thor glared at everyone individually before he spoke.

“Loki did not have any opportunity to let the Jotun in. He was on the lake with Sigyn, as several people could see, and then we spent time in his chamber.”

Loki blinked. What Thor implied and Loki’s apparel did not give the prude council much room to question him further. The tension in his stomach uncoiled a fraction until one council member piped up with

“How else would they have found their way into the palace of Asgard and the vault?”

Odin stood, holding on to Gungnir. Loki could see the king who defeated Jotunheim, proud and vigorous. His face held an expression of implacable determination.

“We will investigate. In the meantime, we cannot let this slide. Thor, you take your friends and a troop of Einherjar and ride to Jotunheim tomorrow as soon as light is up.”

Thor bowed to acknowledge his father’s command. But Loki could see the deep lines marring Thor’s forehead. His husband was troubled.

*

Loki trailed Thor into Thor’s own council chamber. Silence wrapped around them once again. Sif and the Warrior Three were already summoned, as was a troop of Einherjar officers. Thor gave them a brief summary of what happened, allowing some time for the shocked gasps before he continued.

“It is the Allfather’s command to ride into Jotunheim, but I doubt that we should charge before we understand a bit more.”

He looked at Loki and Sif, who stood next to each other. Sif nodded, though she looked surprised. Loki saw his opportunity.

“Maybe I should go alone, first,” he suggested.

Thor frowned. “That would put you in danger.”

“It does. But not in any more danger than I am in anyway just for going there.” He forced himself to look into Thor’s eyes. “I’m a traitor, if I go alone or if I come as part of a group, Thor.”

Thor cocked his head slightly. “Well, I had assumed you would stay in Asgard.”

“Stay in Asgard?” Loki gave a choked, desperate laugh. “Stay in Asgard when my husband goes to war against my brother and my people?”

That had not been phrased well.

“Yes. I had assumed you would stay out of this.”

Loki was well aware of their audience; nobody wanted to take a traitor. He frowned slightly. “I can’t stay out of this, Thor. I need to at least try to avoid a fight.”

“How, though?” Fandral played with a knife, though it seemed habit rather than actual carelessness. “Your brother attacked the heart of Asgard.”

“And failed,” Loki pointed out. “It was the action of my brother, not of my father.”

“But …”

Thor interrupted his friend.

“Loki is right.” Thor’s tone was firm and final. “He might be our best chance to settle the matter without all-out war.” He fixed Loki with his eyes, his countenance immobile. “We have to trust you on this.”

At any other time, Loki would have rejoiced to hear these words. As it was, a tight lump in his throat prevented him from voicing his answer. He merely nodded.

*

He went back to his room alone, while Thor was still discussing with someone which Einherjar to take and how many.

When he was alone Loki allowed the tears he had been holding back since the vault to stream down his face, rolling down his neck. Some were caught in the stupid golden torque. Loki began to tear at his jewellery; he could not get the baubles off fast enough. Next was his dress. He heard a rip tear through it as tugged it off. He threw it against a wall.

Useless. All his efforts had been useless.

This was not how Loki had imagined his first visit back in Jotunheim. As part of Asgard’s army, at the side of Asgard’s prince. He repeated _“the casket, the casket, the casket”_ in his mind to banish the feeling of treason that threatened to overwhelm him. He had not betrayed his people, his world. They would see him as a traitor, but he was doing it for them.

It did not work. He was not that noble - he had married Thor for his brothers. But he had just betrayed one of them. Was Byleistr worth the sacrifice of Helblindi?

Loki did not take any dinner. Nor did Thor knock on his door.

***

When Sif came to fetch him in the morning, he chanted _“the casket the casket”_ in his mind. He barely noticed her worried look when she took in his face. He chanted it when he got on his horse, which followed Thor’s on its own volition.

Lost in his thoughts, Loki barely noticed his horse stopping, along with the others, at the end of the rainbow bridge.

The Bifrost opened and they rode through. The sudden onslaught of snow and harsh, cold wind woke Loki and he looked around. They were on a ridge near the palace of Jotunheim. The mountains were achingly familiar, as was the deep snow and the hazy light. Beautiful. He had never realised how beautiful Jotunheim was before he had left.

All around him, the Aesir were shivering slightly.

Loki took off the tunic. He shuddered at the sudden onslaught of Jotunheim’s air, but as soon as he had changed his form, it felt balmy. Just the right temperature. He turned around, to see everyone staring at him.

“I forgot that what we see isn’t your true form,” Fandral confessed. Loki smirked and tossed his tunic the blond warrior’s way, who caught it with a look of surprise.

“Wait here. This is the most advantageous spot you are going to get if you have to defend yourselves. Though if you come under attack, I’ve failed.”

He addressed this to his husband, back straight.

“You won’t.”

Thor’s blue eyes fixed him with the same expression they had when Thor declared his love.

“You won’t, Loki,” he repeated, his voice even deeper than usual.

*

Loki walked cautiously towards the palace. So far, he did not see any signs of his fellow giants, but he knew better than anyone else did how well they could hide. He was certain that some would go for the “kill first, ask questions later” approach when they encountered somebody they deemed a traitor. Especially when that somebody was the royal runt. He felt hot fear course through his veins, almost paralysing him as he made his way through the once-familiar wasteland.

Loki ducked around boulders, jagged, age-old plates of ice - only Jotun knew their way around this field, and it allowed him to hide in his approach. He peered around a plate to be greeted with the looming form of a giant, standing by the boulder next to the usual gateway to the capital.

Loki was just about to quietly back away, the giant had not noticed him yet, but a last glimpse made him pause.

It was Jarnsaxa, Helblindi’s spouse. A baby was strapped to his front. The nephew he had been pregnant with when Loki left no doubt.

Loki took a deep breath and stepped from behind the ice.

“Jarnsaxa.” He bowed his head very slightly in greeting; never taking his eyes of the giant. Jarnsaxa looked grim.

“Loki. I hoped you would come when I saw the light of the Bifrost.”

Loki took one step closer and looked up at him. He had forgotten how much taller regular frost giants were. Jarnsaxa was relatively small for a Jotun, but Loki had to crane his neck.

“So everyone is on alert?”

“Yes, but they don’t know what to expect, so for the moment, they all rallied at the palace.”

Loki rubbed his face. “Saxa, where is Helblindi?”

“So you know …”

“I recognized the dead guards.”

“He has fled.” Jarnsaxa sighed. The giant Loki had known his whole life looked as if he’d aged 300 years overnight. “Your father is mad with fury and threatened to kill Helblindi personally.”

“Saxa …”

“He wouldn’t let me come with him. Because of Magni.”

“I …”

But Jarnsaxa was not finished.

“Could the Aesir really defeat us again? They are so small and …”

Jarnsaxa’s face was disdainful, but there was a hint of insecurity in the way he frowned.

“Their number is greater, and there are still those who once fought the Jotunn among them.”

“But you can use magic. You could help us.”

Loki looked at the ground. The hope in Jarnaxa’s voice made his chest ache. He had always been dismissed for his magic.

“Saxa … I could hold them off, yes. I could not win.”

He knew it was true. If he fought at the side of his people, yes they might win the fight here in Jotunheim. But their strength would not be enough to then enter Asgard and take the casket.

Jarnsaxa seemed to recognize his sincerity. He nodded.

“Jotunheim will not go down without a fight. Have you come to aid the enemy or us?”

“I have come in the hopes of avoiding all fighting.”

Jarnsaxa’s harsh laugh shook the baby, which started whimpering.

“Is that why Asgard sent an army? To avoid a fight?”

“Helblindi invaded their vault! What did he expect would happen?!”

Jarnsaxa mouth twisted into a bitter smile, even while he patted his child soothingly. “He expected to get the casket and defeat any army that came after him.”

Loki sighed.

“Saxa - I really need to talk to him.”

His brother’s spouse did not look convinced.

“I need to,” Loki insisted. “Either he surrenders to Asgard or we will have war. And I will leave up to him which path we take. Father might threaten to kill Blindi personally, but you know he will not surrender him to Asgard.”

“The path **we** take?”

Loki kept his face deceptively even. “I am not going to go against Jotunheim, am I?”

There was a silence, only interrupted by the crying of Loki’s nephew. Jarnsaxa contemplated Loki, then he nodded.

“Helblindi is in the old temple, praying to the Norns.”

As if praying to the Norns had ever done anyone any good. Loki rolled his eyes. Typical Blindi. He nodded to Jarnsaxa and walked in the direction of the old temple. It should be easy to avoid the other Jotun if they were indeed all rallied at the palace. He would just have to take the path going up the other side of the mountain.

For the first time in his life, he slipped on a bit of ice as he started the ascent to the mountain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments totally make my day!


	15. Jotunheim

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In Jotunheim, Loki has no time to enjoy his home. He is busy trying to prevent a war which would render all his sacrifices useless.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is not betaed - I am on holidays and the internet here is seriously unreliable. I am trying to use a fluke (aka AO3 is loading!) to upload this, so there was no time to get this betaed. If you spot any mistakes, let me know please.  
> Also, I am sorry once more for how long this took - I am still busy with my dissertation. No promises as to when the next chapter will be published, but I hope soon! It is my ambition to have the entire story posted in under one year, before the 22. of August, so we'll see if I'll accomplish that :)  
> Thank you for every kudos!

Loki’s ascent was slower than he liked. The mountain was riddled with ravines, its slopes often so steep that even a frost giant slipped on the perpetual ice. He looked behind himself often, but could spot neither Aesir nor Jotunn following him. He could see the golden glitter of the Einherjars helmets in the distance, or he believed he did. The light here was dimmer than in Asgard and in his Jotunn form, Loki could see fewer colours.

Wind gusted over him, tangling his hair. He had to fight his way to the summit, against the gales. The temple was just at the other side of the summit, and he slowed. The narrow path made a sharp turn and Loki peered from behind the bend towards the little house of worship. It stood some paces right to the path, perched above the palace down in the valley. Two guards were standing in front of the temple, their combined width broader than the building. But while it was small, it was one of the few intact buildings in the area. The guards were looking towards the valley.

Loki knew this mountain better than any other Jotunn; this had been his refuge for centuries. He turned back and climbed up a little path, known to few. Ducking behind boulders and relying on his small size, he arrived at the path leading up from the other side of the mountain, unseen by the guards.

Loki created the illusion of a messenger from the palace, hoping that the Jotunn had not died in the meantime. To confuse the direction he came from, he caused a small avalanche to fall down from the summit, blocking the path to the other side of the mountain. When the guards looked up to the path again, they bowed slightly to Loki. He nodded tersely and demanded to be led to Helblindi.

While one of them stepped inside to inform Helblindi, Loki glanced down into the valley. Large, dark figures prowled among the ruins. The beasts. They were gathering the beasts. Jotunheim was preparing for war.

 

Helblindi stood next to the altar, his head was nearly hitting the ceiling. Even for a Jotun, Helblindi was huge. He looked defiantly at the “messenger,” one hand protectively on his bulging belly. 

As soon as Loki had closed the thick door of the temple behind him, he let go of the illusion.

His brother’s dark red eyes widened and before Loki could brace himself, he was lifted up, with Helblindi joyously exclaiming: “Loki!”

“Ah …” Loki gasped for air, as he was crushed against his brother’s massive body. “Blindi, let go.”

Helblindi put him down again, more careful this time. Loki brushed himself a bit embarrassed while Helblindi’s hand was in his hair.

“Loki. I’ve been so worried about you.”

“Is that why you decided to put my life in danger by attacking Asgard?”

Helblindi winced. “I am so sorry, Loki. I … I thought about looking for you in the palace first, of taking you with us but there was no time …. I was so desperate. I … We never heard anything from you.” Helblindi sighed, holding onto the small altar behind him. “No indication if or when we would get the casket back. And I am pregnant with our second child.”

“And you wanted to ensure that our world endures for your child.”

“Yes. I couldn’t stand to just sit idly by, in the ruins of our world, and wait for it crumble.”

“I do understand,” Loki assured him. 

Helblindi was silent for a moment, then he frowned suddenly.

“How did you manage do get here?”

Helblindi had always been the slowest among Laufey’s children.

“I came with my husband’s army, of course.”

“But where are they? I don’t hear sounds of battle or the clanking of armoured Aesir approaching.”

“No.”

“Why? I thought ….”

“I convinced them to let me try and find you first.”

“You found me. Now what? Are you going to deliver me to the Aesir?”

Helblindi’s voice was so teasing, Loki wondered if he understood the gravity of the situation. He shook his head anyway.

“Blindi, you and Byleistr are the reason I care about Jotunheim’s future. I needed to see you. And Leistr. You must know that you will lose if you wage a war. But if you want to go down that path …”

“We will not lose,” Helblindi interrupted him confidently. “This is our home ground.”

“But …”

“The last time they won? We were already weakened by the battle on Midgard.”

“Blindi, I have seen Asgard’s army and I have seen what they can do.”

“You have not seen our army though.”

“I’ve seen them from up here.”

“But you don’t know what we can do.” Helblindi’s scowl intensified. “You were never let close enough because our fellow Jotunn were a danger to you. But no longer,” he suddenly vowed, “I am sorry Byleistr and I failed you before. We should have forced the others to accept you. But we can change that now.”

“No, you can’t,” Loki protested. He had dreamt of this so often, that Helblindi and Byleistr would beat up all of Jotunheim into submission, into fully accepting Loki as one of their own. But right now he did not care. There was a war to worry about first.

Before Helblindi could answer, the door was thrown open. 

A real messenger from Laufey. He started when he saw Loki, but Helblindi’s scowl let him hastily deliver his message.

“King Laufey asks you to come down to the palace.”

Helblindi looked at the messenger and nodded.

“We will come.”

“I will have to go back to Thor,” Loki began. He was worried that he had already be gone too long, that his husband would do something rash and attack without waiting for Loki’s return.

“You cannot go back Loki.” Helblindi curled his hand around Loki’s arm. “I won’t let you go back and suffer. They will treat you like an enemy.”

“I was sent as a messenger. They expect me back.”

“No.” Blindi dragged Loki to the exit with him. “It was a mistake that father ever sent you to Asgard. I know I went along with it, and I am very sorry for it.”

“It’s really not that bad. At least now …” Loki tried to reassure his brother. 

It was futile. They were already out of the temple and Helblindi’s guard stood ready. Their mouths fell open at the sight of Loki. The denser one angled his head to look into the temple, looking for the first messenger they had let in. 

 

Helblindi did not waste any time on explanations. His hand still on Loki’s arm, he started to walk down. Loki could have freed himself, perhaps, using his magic. But he found that he wanted to see Byleistr. And even Laufey. So far he would not have much to report to Thor anyway.

On the way, Helblindi told Loki after some prodding how he had managed to break into Asgard in the first place. It was as easy as it was intriguing. Helblindi had apprehended Thrivaldi, a high ranking counsellor who had attempted to assassinate Laufey. Helblindi had heard it rumoured that Thrivaldi knew secret passages between the realms and made a deal with him. Thrivaldi would let them into Asgard and he would walk free. Thrivaldi let a beast lose in Vanaheim and while they could assume Heimdall to be distracted by that, Helblindi and two of his guards broke into Asgard. Only Helblindi made it out alive.

Secret passages between the realms. Loki had suspected them before, but it was exciting to hear their existence confirmed.

 

As they approached the valley, the clean smell of fresh snow and stone intermingled with the foul smell of the beasts. When they entered the field around the palace, the giants milling around paused to stare. Helblindi had one hand firmly on Loki’s shoulder and looked so grim, that nobody dared approach them. Loki did not know much about the Jotnar army, but he did recognize what happened. Jotnar warriors were gathering in their companies. Several went into hiding around the palace, ready to surprise the Aesir should they approach.

One figure was approaching them. As he came closer, they could see that it was Jarnsaxa, returned from his post, still carrying Magni. Helblindi smiled at his consort, as he joined their little procession towards the palace. 

 

When they came into the palace grounds, Loki was grabbed from behind. He recognized Byleistr’s laugh before his instincts kicked in. Byleistr spun Loki around and dropped to his knees to pull Loki into a hug that was only marginally gentler than Helblindi’s.

“I’ve been so worried!” his brother exclaimed. “When I heard what Helblindi had done - I was certain the Aesir would punish you.”

“They did not,” Loki assured him. He looked around, allowing himself some time to soak in the familiar surroundings of the broken columns. 

Thrym, old Thrym, ambled closer and scrutinised Loki.

“The Aesir let you back here, now?” 

There were conflicting undercurrents in the old warrior’s voice. Relief, worry, suspicion and disbelief. Loki smiled.

“A messenger can be useful.”

“Indeed.” Thrym did not hug him and Loki was grateful for that. The Jotunnn just squeezed Loki’s shoulder a bit too hard. “I am glad to see you. And if it comes to battle …”

“I won’t be much help,” Loki dispelled any fantasies. “I don’t know much about their army.”

“I see.” Thrym’s face sunk. “There are some of us glad to see you back, Loki.”

“And many who are not.” Loki smirked, but he touched the old giant’s forearm lightly as they moved on.

 

Laufey was awaiting his sons in the remains of the great hall, sitting on his throne. He showed no sign of rejoicing at the sight of Loki. Instead, he stood and glared at Helblindi.

“I will deal with your disobedience later. For now, we have to deal with a war against Asgard.” He looked at Loki for the first time. “What are you doing here? Are you here on your husband’s behalf to talk us into surrendering?”

Loki clenched his fists. “I have come with the husband you had kindly arranged for me, yes. And yes, I have persuaded him to let me come alone first.”

“To do what?” Laufey mocked. “You better run back to him and tell him that we will never surrender.”

“Loki will not go!” Helblindi and Byleistr exclaimed together. Byleistr continued. “Loki has just returned to us in a time when Asgard is our enemy. How can you expect him to go back to the Aesir, father? He belongs here!”

“At a time of war with Asgard, our people won’t look kindly on a deformed, stunted prince married to the leader of our enemies.”

“He is a Jotunn,” Byleistr snarled.

“He will stay,” Helblindi said with finality. “There is no sense in sending him back now just to be punished.”

“I suppose there is no sense now in sending Loki back,” Laufey conceded. “The Aesir believe that I ordered the casket to be stolen; they won’t believe that this was the action of a few.”

Loki shrugged. 

“They know Blindi was acting on his own.”

All eyes turned to him.

“How?” Laufey thundered.

“I told them, obviously.” Loki did not find it hard to keep his calm among these idiots. 

“You betrayed your _brother_?”

Laufey’s shouting was okay, but Helblindi looked so wounded, Loki felt bad for a split-second.

“To save Jotunheim, yes. If they believed it was you, father, they might have attacked without giving us the chance to negotiate.”

“There is nothing to negotiate,” Laufey growled. “We won’t surrender a Jotunn, much less my own son, to Asgard. Never. You might have forgotten this Loki, but we have our pride.”

“You surrendered me.”

Laufey, for once in his life, was stunned into silence. They all knew the truth why Laufey was willing to surrender Loki but not Helblindi. When Odin had asked for Loki in exchange for the casket, it must have looked like a sweet deal to Laufey. A child who was worth nothing, who should have been sacrificed, in exchange for the survival of his world. Loki had no doubt that Laufey would have said so, had Byleistr and Helblindi not been there. Laufey was too intelligent to start a quarrel over Loki now.

Finally Laufey stood, his lips thin. “We will need time. I will send a messenger to the Aesir army to let them know they can have war now or our answer tomorrow.”

 

They were dismissed. Byleistr and Helblindi decided that they would all sleep in one room this night, with Jarnsaxa and Magni. There were royal guards to protect them, but none of his brothers wanted to risk any harm coming to Loki. Their conversation among each other, as they shared a dinner of raw fish, was light at first. Loki enjoyed his first taste of Jotunheim fare in years and wanted to know all about Magni. Helblindi and Jarnsaxa were all too happy to talk about their son, even though Helblindi was distracted. He and Byleistr got up several times to look outside at the army. Not long after they had started their dinner, Loki had felt the surge of magic that indicated the Bifrost opening and taking Asgard’s force with them.

His brothers tiptoed around Loki’s experiences but finally Byleistr asked about Asgard. Loki told them that it really was too hot, but that one got used to all the garishness. He told them that Thor was cold at first. He could not say exactly why he did not tell his brothers the truth. Right now did not seem to be the moment, with tensions so high already. He finally did betray Thor slightly by talking about the banishment to Midgard. Naturally, his brothers were agog to hear about that realm. 

It was soothing to Loki to know that he fulfilled his promise to Rhodey and Pepper; he was telling his family that another attempt to take over Midgard would almost certainly fail.

He impressed them with his tale about his battle with Von Doom. 

As his brothers were still talking about little Loki’s unexpected courage, but also their dismay at having risked his life for another realm, Loki made a decision. The truth could not harm Jotunheim any more than the omission had already done. 

“There is something you need to know about my marriage …”

And he told them about Laufey’s deal with Odin.

Helblindi had gone very quiet after Loki’s revelation and they had gone to sleep soon after. 

 

When they came to the throne the next morning, Helblindi roughly ordered all the Jotunn away from the throne, including Thrym.

Laufey did not object to this, he rarely fought with Helblindi in public. But when everyone was out of earshot, he turned to his oldest, his familiar scowl in place.

“Are you going to inform me why you thought it wise to send my generals away when we have a war to plan?”

“There might not be a war.” Helblindi straightened himself. His large, pregnant belly became more prominent. “Loki told me the truth. I will surrender myself.”

“YOU WHAT?” Laufey roared so loud, some of the Jotunn army were drawing nearer.

“I will surrender myself,” Helblindi repeated firmly. “I still believe we might win the war here, but our chances of getting the casket back are better if I surrender.”

“I won’t …” Laufey began, but Loki cut him off with an impatient wave of the hand. That action was so unexpected, it actually shut everyone up.

“You will,” Loki said, glaring at him. “You will. Helblindi is doing more for Jotunheim than you have done in 2000 years. At least he _tried_ to do something to restore Jotunheim. All you’ve done is sit around, letting everything fall into ruins because you never believed your rut of a third son would ever be good enough to actually fulfil Asgard’s demand.”

He drew closer to Laufey, feeling bolder when his two brother were suddenly behind him. “You never even allowed anyone to rebuild Jotunheim to its former glory, because you believe we are doomed. You sent me to suffer in Asgard, believing I would fail! But you never cared enough about me to keep me here with you while we awaited the end of our world. Helblindi is not like you. He saw a chance to get the casket and he tried to take it. You never taught him enough to know about the dangers in Asgard. And now he is willing to lay down his life for Jotunheim.”

Laufey nostrils flared. “Are you calling me a coward?”

Byleistr put his hand on Loki’s shoulder and stepped forward to stop Loki from replying.

“This is not what we are debating now, father. And I agree with Loki. I respect Helblindi’s decision.” He looked back to where Helblindi was still standing tall. “Our brother has honour and courage and we will never forget that.”

“Thank you.” Helblindi finally came forward again. “I will surrender myself, father, because the future of Jotunheim is more important than my life.”

“You are my son! The crown prince!”

Helblindi bared his teeth. “Loki is right. I have wondered for centuries why you would never let me do anything to restore Jotunheim. Always, always you said we have to wait for the casket but we could all see that you never believed we would regain it.” 

He was interrupted by the light of the Bifrost opening not far from them. Turning towards his brothers, Helblindi continued. “You underestimate our Loki. I know he can get the casket back for us. He will find a way and I am sorry I doubted it before. Loki is clever and as long as he is in Asgard, we will get the casket. And Byleistr …” 

Helblindi’s smile was just as cruel as Laufey’s. “Byleistr will be a much better king than you ever were.” 

Muscles worked in Laufey’s jaw as he regarded his three children. His three children who had turned against him.

Finally, Laufey nodded.

“Byleistr, Helblindi, look for Thrivaldi and have him arrested. Loki, go to your husband and tell him this. We will surrender Helbindi and Thrivaldi to them. We will not accept any further demands. They will have Helblindi or war.”

Loki bowed despite his earlier irreverence. It was a show for the Jotunn watching from a distance rather than a real sign of respect and Laufey’s low growl told him that his father was aware of this.

 

The Aesir had landed at the same spot as the previous day. A formidable force of Einherjar stood on the hill, stretching further than before. Loki could see that they had been prepared to do battle immediately; most of them still had their spears out.

They already had a dusting of snow on top of their helmets and when Loki came closer he could see them shivering. He stopped for a moment, contemplating the aliens he had lived among for five years. He was about to deliver his oldest brother to their mercy. Odin was not known to be merciful. It had been easier to tell Jarnsaxa that Helblindi should surrender himself. Right now, it seemed almost impossible to allow Helblindi to go through with it. Loki pushed forward.

 

Thor stood in front of the army, watching Loki approach. His hair seemed blonder than ever, with snowflakes clinging to his hair and beard. They had arrived in Jotunheim some hours ago. Thor’s face was red from the wind and the cold. When Loki was in easy hearing range, Thor bowed his head slightly.

“Loki.”

Thor looked like a god of war, determination hardening his face. Loki bowed his head in return.

“Thor.”

For a moment, Loki imagined seeing Thor’s face softening, but then Thor was back to his role as Asgard’s commander. “Has your father sent you with a message?”

Loki took a deep breath.

“Yes.”

Thor scrutinized him. He called for Sif and Fandral to follow him and Loki, ordering the rest of them to keep watch.

This was not a proper military campaign, Thor did not have a tent, but they walked some metres, standing at the edge of a cliff to talk privately.

“Your father sent you, I take this as a good sign.” Thor’s deep voice was back to normal, affection tinging his words. Loki sighed.

“Helblindi will surrender himself, if you keep the peace between Asgard and Jotunheim. He did act on his own.”

“Are you sure about that?”

Loki frowned. “Yes.”

“He needed help.”

“Yes.” Loki smiled. “The Jotunn who helped him had attempted to kill my father. We will surrender him to Asgard too once he is apprehended.” He looked directly at Thor. “My father will accept Helblindi’s surrender to Asgard and he will surrender Thrivaldi to Asgard. He will accept no further demands.”

When Thor looked unconvinced, Loki continued. “Helblindi is pregnant.” He looked at Sif and Fandral, but continued anyway. “The casket is important to Jotunheim. Helblindi was troubled about the future of his unborn child as well as his son, Magni. When Thrivaldi claimed to know a secret passage to Asgard, he saw his chance to restore Jotunheim for them.”

“Risking you.”

As charming as it was that Thor got indignant on his behalf, now was really not the time.

“Risking his little brother for his own children is something I can forgive.”

And he could, Loki discovered to his own surprise. It was harder to forgive Laufey that he had had no qualms to surrender Loki into what he must have known would be an unhappy marriage but was willing to risk a second nearly certain defeat of Jotunheim for Helblindi.

Thor looked at his friends. There seemed to be some silent communication between him and Sif, then he turned back to Loki.

“I have no desire to wage war against you and your home, Loki.”

The fact that Loki had talked about “we” had not escaped Thor.

“I am glad,” was all he could reply. 

“But - tell me what we can do, Loki. If my father throws Helblindi, the crown prince of Jotunheim, into Asgard’s dungeon, I fear it will create unrest in Jotunheim and further attempts on Asgard.”

“Yes.” Loki bowed his head to hide the anger on his face. Yes. Whatever happened now, Jotunheim would be in upheaval and Laufey’s position frailer than before. But he had already considered what the best solution among all the bad ones was. “You can demand that my father disinherits Helblindi and banishes him to the rim.”

“To the rim?”

“To live among the rim giants,” Loki clarified, keeping his face carefully controlled. “The weather is milder than here, almost oppressively hot for us in summer. The rim is far from the palace, a journey of several weeks through uninhabited land.”

“Leaving Helblindi here on Jotunheim … I do not know if my father will accept this.”

Thor did not seem convinced and Loki nearly screamed. 

His hatred for Odin at his moment nearly made his blood boil. If he could but tell Thor what Helblindi knew now, that Loki’s marriage to Thor might secure the casket. Thor would know that Helblindi had no reason to rebel. On the contrary, Helblindi would squash any attempt of any frost giants trying to bring him back. But Loki couldn’t.

He composed himself again.

“Odin will accept your decision. And Helblindi will keep his word. He will surrender his claim to the throne to Byleistr and he won’t come back.” 

He straightened himself even further and looked right into Thor’s eyes. “I give you my word on that.”

Sif looked at Thor. “We can give them a chance, Thor. Tell Laufey and Helblindi that if Helblindi breaks his exile, there will be war.”

“I have one further demand,” Thor said heavily. “Helblindi needs to tell us exactly where that passage ends so we can destroy it.”

Loki nodded. He did not want to say that he had foreseen that condition. Or that he regretted the necessity to tell anyone about the passage, he would have liked to use it himself. 

Despite this small pang of disappointment, he nearly sagged in relief when Thor smiled. Helblindi would not suffer Asgard’s dungeons. He would be able to convince Laufey that blocking the passage was in Jotunheim’s interest.

 

Loki returned to the palace with the news that Asgard would hold the peace if Laufey banished Helblindi for his crime and delivered Thrivaldi to Asgard. 

When Loki came back to the palace, he walked past two burly guards holding Thrivaldi who was shouting abuse about dishonourable princes. Only Byleistr, Helblindi and Jarnsaxa with Magni there were near the throne. When Loki delivered Thor’s words, Laufey’s face clouded over in anger but out of the corner of his eyes, Loki could see Jarnsaxa nearly fainting with relief. Helblindi’s spouse had to hold on to a pillar. 

There was no doubt that Jarnsaxa would follow Helblindi into exile. Not forced, as Loki was to follow Thor into Midgard, but because he wanted to. Theirs was a marriage of love. 

While Byleistr and Helblindi talked sense into Laufey, emphasizing how unexpectedly mild the demand was, Loki was idly wondering if Thor would follow Loki into Jotunheim should Odin ever banish Loki from Asgard. He had claimed to love Loki, but was that love as strong as Jarnsaxa’s? Loki had been forced to follow Thor into Midgard. Jarnsaxa was not forced to leave home and family, but he would.

 

When they marched to meet the Aesir army, Loki was at the helm of the small Jotunn force, walking with his father and his brothers. It was the first time he had been thus acknowledged as Laufey’s son.

Helblindi suddenly squeezed Loki’s arm so hard, the smaller frost giant yelped.

“Tell me Loki … will you really get the casket back?”

Loki put his hand over his brother’s.

“Recently Odin has given me reason to hope. And if Odin won’t return it, Thor will. I promise you. The casket will be back in Jotunheim before it is too late.”

Helblindi sighed. His big brother was showing nerves and Loki did not like it.

“I can promise you that,” Loki insisted. “The casket will be delivered to Jotunheim. Or, I swear, I will freeze all of Asgard.”

Helblindi smiled and squeezed Loki’s arm again so hard, his bones nearly broke.

“I trust you on this little brother. I won’t ever regret my exile knowing that you will achieve my goal.”

He turned his attention forward again. They had nearly reached the Aesir “camp.”

Tension was high among the Jotunn behind him.

Tension was also high among the Aesir. They had been left standing in the freezing wasteland of Jotunheim for hours, in the perpetual snow. The Einherjar were shivering, and as they had drawn closer Loki could see that the hands holding the spears were turning blue. He would not be surprised if a stray spear from a nervous Einherjar would be flung and war would break out regardless of their deal.

 

Thor and Laufey talked in private between the armies for a couple of minutes, even though everything had been decided already. It was for show, Laufey wanted to present himself as the one in charge. Thor looked gracious; Laufey’s face said plainly that he would like to rip this Aesir’s face off. He did not, and Helblindi, Byleistr and Loki all sighed in relief when Thor smiled and nodded and Laufey turned around.

Laufey announced with a booming voice that Jotunheim would deliver Thrivaldi to Asgard. When there was some unrest among the Jotunn, he increased the volume of his voice even more, announced that this cretin who had first attempted to overthrow Laufey and then lured the Crown Prince Helblindi to Asgard hoping he would die there. 

Byleistr dragged the prisoner forward in haste, before any Jotunn could tear him apart.

Helblindi then stood forward and announced in a voice just as loud as Laufey’s that to atone for letting himself be seduced by the villain, he would renounce the crown in favour of his brother Byleistr, who was more steadfast, and that he would retire to the rim. 

Loki wondered how many on either side would be fooled. Helblindi’s announcement saved his honour and it saved Laufey the necessity to banish his son on foreign orders. But it was obvious that he had in fact been banished to appease Asgard.

It was better this way than if Asgard had taken Helblindi prisoner or killed him, but the hostility in the air seemed to crystallize like the snowflakes.

 

Thor was waving at him, motioning for him to come over. The Aesir could not stay. Loki hesitated and walked over. 

“We need to leave now,” Thor said quietly, as Loki had suspected. “Before hostilities can erupt. Will you come with us?”

A smile spread over Loki’s face. Thor did not know about the deal and did not know that Loki had no choice. It was kind of him not to assume that Loki would want to go back to Asgard immediately or at all. He nodded.

“I will take leave of my family. But I am married to you and I will honour that.”

And he had lived in Asgard for 5 years, reappearing with the Aesir army. It did not make him any more popular than he already was.

 

Loki walked up to Helblindi and Jarnsaxa. He was violently hugged by both of them. Helblindi tried to apologize again, but Loki cut him off. He had meant what he said, he respected Helblindi’s need to act to prevent Jotunheim’s end.

Byleistr held on to Loki just as he had when they separated the first time.

“Try to visit, little brother,” he finally said, when Loki had just resigned himself to a trip to the healers in Asgard.

“I will,” Loki promised. “I will visit you and Helblindi both.”

Byleistr discreetly glanced in the direction where Thor was still standing in front of his army, but Loki nodded and smiled to indicate that his husband would not be an obstacle. He would make sure of that.

 

While Thor shouted for Heimdall to open the Bifrost Loki cast a longing gaze around himself. This, this was home. The snowy wastelands of central Jotunheim. But he did not feel as despondent as the last time he had left here. Asgard had become home too. Garish and full of strange customs and food, but there were just as many people who cared about him in Asgard as in Jotunheim. And people Loki cared about.

They were pulled away and into Asgard.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I won't be able to answer comments for a while (crappy Internet connection and all that) .... but they still will absolutely make my day when I get them!


	16. Closure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thor and Loki have avoided war, but there are still some matters to resolve. Such as Odin's reaction to their unauthorized actions. And of course the fact that Thor's feelings might not be as unrequited as he believes.  
> 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was originally intended to be two chapters - but first of all, it seemed odd to cut off where I intended to, and secondly, it was all written, so why wait? This is the end! I can't quite believe I actually managed to finish! There is an epilogue after this chapter, which I'll post with this chapter, so make sure to read that one too!  
> Thank you again to TheLadySadie, who betaed this and helped me a lot with finding the right words for the ending!

It was the second time Loki arrived back in Asgard in Jotun form. It was less hot this time, but he felt as uncomfortable as the Aesir must have felt in Jotunheim. He could feel the suspicious glances of the Einherjar behind them. The encounter had been anticlimactic. They had stood in the cold for hours, they had faced the feared enemy, the Frost Giants, and all that happened was some talk. And they had brought one of them back, the odd spouse of their crown prince. In his Jotun attire, Loki’s form was evidently not female. Loki transformed into his Aesir form while they were still on the bridge. Thor insisted that Loki must be on his side as they walked through the city to the palace.

In the palace, they had to appear in front of Odin’s throne. The occasion was formal, but he could see the relieved smile on Frigga’s face. The Allmother stood on his right, Sigyn and another lady-in-waiting by her side. Sigyn was beaming at him. It soothed him, although he still could scarcely bring himself to look upon Odin. His hatred for the king of Asgard bubbled close to the surface, almost breaking through his reverent mask. Mixed in was the hot feeling of fear, coursing through his veins and quickening his pulse. He had divulged Odin’s pact with Laufey to Helblindi without Odin’s leave.

Odin exuded his accustomed grandeur. He received his son and his son’s Jotun spouse with a grave face, welcoming them back in too many words and then finally thanking them for their levelheaded resolution of the matter. Only when he touched upon the possibility of Helblindi breaking his exile, Loki’s hands clenched. He could feel his pulse thrumming in his neck.

Odin dismissed the court but bade Loki to join him on his way back to his own chambers. Loki summoned all his willpower to stop himself from trembling in anger and fear as he bowed his head and followed the Allfather. He did not dare to look at his friends or his husband.

*

Odin led Loki to his balcony, dismissing the Einherjar and bidding them to prevent anyone from entering the chambers. The balcony looked towards the Bifrost as most of the royal chambers did, apart from Loki’s. The Allfather was silent for moments, which Loki felt were calculated to set his son’s spouse on edge. Finally the Allfather spoke.

“I am pleased that there was no war, which Jotunheim could only have lost. Yet I wonder if it was wise to banish Helblindi. I would have expected Thor and especially you to confer with me before you acted so rashly. You have told Helblindi about the contract.”

“To avoid war which would have cost many Aesir their lives.”

“And that Jotunheim would have lost.” Odin still stared at him. “As Jotunheim has lost 1000 years ago. I could have destroyed your realm, but instead I offered your father the chance to gain his Casket back.”

“It is not his Casket.” All the pent-up anger began swelling up in him. “It is the heart of Jotunheim! Without the magic in the Casket, nothing but moss and lichen will live in the ice!”

“Indeed.”

Odin still looked unruffled, only slightly displeased as if they were discussing a misdemeanour by Loki rather than the fate of all of Loki’s people.

Loki’s expression hardened. “Jotunheim has suffered for 1000 years. It’s enough.”

“Your father meant to destroy Midgard!”

“Yes,” Loki acknowledged. “And I understand why you stopped him. But we have suffered enough for something that has long since passed out of human memory. In this time the Midgardians have killed more of their own than we ever would have.”

Odin looked away from Loki and into the vastness of space beyond the Bifrost.

“I cannot allow a people to prosper that endangers the peace between the realms,” he said heavily. “Much as I desire peaceful relations between your realm and ours, I fear that once Jotunheim is restored further attempts will be made on other realms. While I value you, Loki, I have started to regret that I ever promised to return the Casket.”

Every muscle in Loki tensed. He drew himself up to his full height, nearly as tall as Odin and looked the Allfather in the eye.

“I will bear a child. And I will hold you to your contract. I have been nothing but obedient and faithful to Thor. Once our first child is born, you will return the Casket. If you do not honour your oath, I will have Thor know.”

“It is …” Odin did not get far. A deep voice interrupted him.

“I know enough.”

Both Odin and Loki swept around. Of course, the Einherjar had not stopped the crown prince from entering and Thor had heard what had passed between them. Odin was the one who remained calm while Loki was frozen in shock.

“Loki, thank you for your time. You may retire now while I converse with my son.”

Thus dismissed Loki retreated. But he had a premonition that Thor would seek him out later.

*

The walls trembled as Thor fought with his father. Nobody in the palace could make out the words, but all cringed in fear. A confused maid ran into Loki’s chambers to seek refuge, without realising where she was until Loki offered her a drink. The poor girl nearly fainted.

It seemed hours until the voices fell silent. Loki waited. And it wasn’t long before loud footsteps clanged in the hall leading to his chamber.

Thor beat against Loki’s door instead of barging in, but when Loki opened the door, Thor’s wild eyes told him that it had cost Thor whatever restraint he had left. He was boiling with rage and his fury was directed at Loki.

Loki stepped aside to let Thor in. He did his best to remain calm and he was sure that in his anger Thor would not notice that Loki’s hands trembled slightly. All his hope had rested on Thor returning the Casket even if he angered Odin. Now Thor appeared to be furious with him too.

“Everything you ever told me was a lie,” Thor stated through thin lips. “Did you laugh at my attempts to become friends? And at my feelings?”

The hurt was unmistakable underneath the fury.

“Why would you think that?” Loki looked straight into Thor’s eyes with some difficulty. “What you learnt today has no connection to ….”

Reasoning was beyond Thor and he cut Loki off.

“ANSWER ME!”

Thor’s roar must have been audible for everyone in the palace even above the rumble of thunder his temper brought. Loki steeled himself.

“We both have our roles to play. The role I accepted when I married you was that of your royal consort, the future Allmother, and I have been doing my best to fulfil it.”

Loki was the picture of cold dignity and Thor suddenly deflated and leaned against the wall.

“You have,” he acknowledged. “What you told my father was true. You have been obedient and faithful. I have no reason to complain.”

He suddenly hit the wall behind him and Loki flinched.

“I will retire now.”

Thor swept out of the room without a second glance at Loki. Loki bit his lips as he watched Thor leave.

He had not meant to hurt Thor. His husband was still rash and spoilt, but he had learnt much during the last year. He was honourable, more honourable than Loki would ever be, he was kind towards those he respected, and he was generous and affectionate towards those he loved. And his last words told Loki what he needed to know. He did not consider Loki to have broken the contract, there was still hope for Jotunheim.

Suddenly exhausted he let himself fall down onto his bed. In the space of one long day he had seen his brother banished, had said goodbye to his homeworld for the second time, had fought with Odin and then with Thor. He thought he might very well sleep for one week.

***

The next day, the tension in the palace was high. Loki took his meals with Frigga, neither Odin nor Thor showed up at the table. Frigga asked Loki what had happened, but he thought it wiser to tell her to ask Odin. It was not his place to say. Frigga was not satisfied. Loki was hiding most of the day in the library, researching Asgardian law, to escape curious stares and inquiries.

After dinner, Loki retired to his chambers to read. And to brood. He was startled when somebody banged against his door. When Loki opened the door, he found the doorframe filled with Thor, still in his armour, obviously fresh from the training grounds.

“May I come in?”

Loki stepped aside and waved him inside. Thor closed the door and looked at Loki, his expression blank.

“I will hold to my father’s contract. Once we have a child, that casket will be returned to Jotunheim.”

“Thank you. I am relieved that I have not failed my people.”

Thor furrowed his brow.

“Wouldn’t they have killed you because they consider you deformed?”

What a thing to bring up right now. Loki gritted his teeth.

“Yes. Children born with deformities such as small size are sacrificed to the Norns. I admit that this is not the most charming aspect of our culture.”

His husband barked out a surprised laugh. “Not the most charming – Loki, your mother would have murdered you if it were not for my father.”

“And I would not be here to complain about that.” He scowled. “My dam intended to sacrifice me. There’s a difference between murder and sacrifice. He thought he would save Jotunheim by doing it. And I do love my brothers and there were others who were kind to me. It is my home and those are the people I have grown up with. Yes, I would love them to stop this practice, but I can’t hate all of them for it.”

“Loki ….”

Thor made a move as if he wanted to touch Loki’s shoulder, but he hesitated halfway through. His arms fell to his side again.

“It must have been a heavy burden for you, to carry the fate of your entire realm on your shoulders.”

No fury was left in Thor’s voice. His face was wistful as he contemplated Loki.

Loki just nodded. What could he say?

“My father was wrong to do this. I am truly sorry.” Thor’s words were heavy. In moments like this, it was easy to see that Thor would be a good king someday. Loki forced a smile.

“You have nothing to apologize for.”

“I do. I have treated you abominably when you first came.”

“You haven’t really,” Loki assured him out of habit.

“Loki,” Thor’s face was threatening now, but his voice was almost gentle, “The only part of my father’s conditions that I will acknowledge is that the Casket will only be returned after we have a child. And that is only because there needs to be an explanation that doesn’t shame Asgard and that doesn’t hurt Jotnar pride.”

He took a step back.

“We will need to have a child, Loki. But I want you to feel as free as you can while you have to remain in Asgard as my spouse. I will never make the fate of your realm dependent on my happiness with you as a spouse, that is ludicrous. Speak your mind.” Thor bit his lips. “I know that my behaviour to you in the first years of our marriage was inexcusable. Don’t deny it, please.”

Loki had no intention to and nodded.

Thor looked down at the floor. “It occurred to me, that my first reaction to the revelation was too harsh. You know of my feelings towards you. I felt …”

“You have nothing to apologize for,” Loki repeated. He took a deep breath and in a daring move, he put his hand under Thor’s chin, forcing him to look at Loki again. He could feel Thor’s breath hitch under his fingers.

“Thor, I know you are a man of honour. You will save my realm. The other Jotunn will never know, but I …”

“You will not make it up to me,” Thor interrupted him, grabbing the hand Loki still had under his chin, and entwining their finger before squeezing Loki’s hand. “You have given enough. I cannot free you from this marriage, but I can make it as easy for you as possible.”

Thor retired shortly after that. Loki was glad. Relief and apprehension warred inside him.

*

The following days, the tension between Thor and Odin was still almost visible in the charged air of the palace. Thor had told his mother of the reason for his fight with his father, and Frigga had been almost in tears when Loki came to her chamber. She too was not talking to her husband. Odin pretended to be unmoved by the discord he brought into the family. He sat proud as ever, apparently above the concerns of family. But looking more closely, Loki could see him glance furtively to Frigga now and then, and sometimes to Thor.

*

Then, one week later, Frigga and Loki were alone again, taking a turn through the garden. Frigga was delighted with Loki’s progress in herb lore, but as soon as they were out of earshot, Frigga stopped.

“Odin has sworn that the Casket will be returned to Jotunheim before it is too late.”

Her look was fierce and Loki understood why Odin had relented. He was glad Frigga had never been his enemy.

“Thank you.”

Frigga just nodded curtly and continued weaving. Some things were too momentous to be discussed at length. Loki knew he would never learn what happened between Odin and Frigga but whatever Frigga had said or done, his mission seemed to be accomplished. Jotunheim would be saved, the Queen and the Crown Prince of Asgard were now on Jotunheim’s side.

The yarn he spun that day was unusable. Too great was his inner turmoil to concentrate on keeping it even. The tension he had carried inside since he had heard the truth was nearly gone, leaving him with a sense of emptiness. He had been burdened with an enormous purpose, all his actions and his thoughts had been bent towards the rescue of Jotunheim. Now, all he needed to do was become fertile and bear a child, but even if that failed, he knew that Frigga and Thor would find a way to return the Casket any way.

*

The following weeks and months Loki was still trying to regain his balance. It helped that winter was approaching and the air was getting colder. The snowball fights with Thor’s friends were vicious, but everybody was surprised at the ferocity with which the ladies in waiting (including Sigyn) who Loki had persuaded to join their fights exhibited. Fandral’s pants were stuffed with snow on more than one occasion. And Loki won every time, and on one memorable occasion he wrestled Thor into the snow after he hit the blond Aesir square in the face with a snowball.

Heimdall told Loki that his brother and his little family had safely arrived at the Rim, after some difficulties during the journey and that Loki had a new baby nephew.

***

Thor still doted on Loki; they had now settled into an easy companionship. Some days Loki escaped from Frigga’s chambers to get to the training grounds and Thor would teach him how to fight without using magic. Thor’s own visits to his mother’s chambers were more frequent now and while it still looked funny to see his huge form sit on a tiny chair and him helping the ladies to wind their finest yarn, Loki enjoyed the time with him. He let himself be teased by Loki but he never teased back; Thor was incapable of even the smallest insincerity. Which was good, because in anybody else Loki would have doubted the enthusiasm with which Thor received the pillowcases Loki had stitched for him.

*

In midwinter, a revelation hit Loki in the middle of the lake. Sigyn had travelled to her parents for a visit. He was alone with Thor in a boat. Thor was leaning back against the hull while Loki was steering. The crown prince was relaxed and looked out towards the snow-covered hills at the Rim, before he turned back to Loki and his sunny smile broadened. And at that moment Loki nearly recoiled from the sudden awareness.

He loved this surprisingly tender brute. And he had loved him for a while. He should have realised in Jotunheim, when the thought of Thor leaving him there while he returned to Asgard was almost unbearable. He should have noticed when they held hands in Loki’s chamber after Thor apologized for his father and vowed to return the Casket. That tingling feeling had not merely been relief and gratitude. He should have noticed how his breath caught every time Thor entered a room. In the way he had started to seek out Thor almost on instinct.

Now, Thor’s face fell and he moved forward, putting a hand on Loki’s arm, enquiring if Loki was all right. He was, he really was, he assured Thor. His mind was reeling.

How could he tell Thor? And should he tell Thor? Right now their relationship was based on Thor’s love and guilt, giving Loki more power than he had ever possessed in his life. But on the lake, beside Thor, power seemed to pale against the prospect of sharing his love with Thor.

*

In the end, Loki just blurted it out. He had already enjoyed some very good berry liqueur after dinner one evening, sitting in one of his favourite corners in the palace by himself and enjoying the starlight. He thought the approaching figure with a tray in its hands was just some servant, and looked up in consternation when the impertinent person stopped next to him, interrupting his contemplation. But he was met with the smile of his husband.

“I had the chefs experiment,” he announced proudly. Loki blinked.

“You what?”

“I saw how much you enjoyed ice cream on Midgard and I knew it must be possible to recreate it here, with Asgardian technology! And they finally succeeded!”

With a flourish, Thor unveiled the bowl on his tray. And indeed, there were four perfect balls of ice cream, each in a different flavour. It took much to make Loki gape, but all he could do for a moment was stare with his mouth open.

Thor handed him a spoon and after the first bite, he burst out: “I love you!”

Thor laughed, thinking it was an expression of how much Loki loved the ice cream and his gratefulness for that act. But now that he had said it, Loki would not go back like a coward. He held Thor’s gaze.

“I do.”

Thor gaped and sat down heavily next to his spouse.

“Really?” he asked in a hushed voice, as if he was afraid to spook Loki’s feelings.

“Of course.” Loki smiled serenely. “How could I not love a man who abuses his power as Crown Prince to force the kitchen to spent months creating my favourite food?”

He took another spoonful of the wonderful blackberry ice cream. Thor looked at him, looking very small despite his bulk.

“So …”

“So I love you, you imbecile.” Loki cocked his head. “I loved you for a while, I think, but I only noticed recently.”

“I …” Thor shut his mouth again and just watched Loki eat. But slowly his right hand came closer to Loki and Loki grabbed it. When Thor appeared to be too shy to go any further, Loki harrumphed and leant against Thor, who let go of Loki’s hand to put his hand firmly on Loki’s waist. That was much better. Loki handed Thor the spoon, so Thor could have some ice cream too. Instead, Thor began to feed Loki. Loki nearly purred in contentment. When he noticed Thor tightening his hand on his waist every time he poked out his tongue to catch the ice cream that was dripping off the spoon, he chuckled, but refused to tell Thor why.

They were holding hands when they walked back towards the main area of the palace, looking for a servant to take the tray to the kitchen.

Thor gave Loki a very chaste kiss before he retired for the night.

*

And this became their routine. They spent some time every day wandering through the palace and the gardens hand in hand, to sit somewhere arm in arm and every morning and every night they exchanged one chaste kiss. It should be something sweet and sappy, something Loki would normally scoff at, but he found that he did not. Some of that emptiness of purpose inside him began to fill. Now, with their shared love, he could see a future as “Allmother”, or rather as Thor’s spouse, ruling Asgard together and keeping all the other realms in check. Save Midgard perhaps. It was not of quite as immediate importance as saving his home world, but it was a position of power.

He realised now, after some years in Asgard, that Frigga’s seeming complacency and her seeming preoccupation with domestic matters was a deception; Odin’s queen yielded considerable power. By recruiting her ladies-in-waiting from all corners of Asgard and some even from Vanaheim and Alfheim, Frigga had a network of spies and messengers that often worked more reliably and quickly than Odin’s. And her counsel was the only one Odin listened to. Loki would make sure that his own position would be less obscure that Frigga’s.

***

One day in early spring, when the weather was just cold enough to be agreeable to Loki in his Aesir form, they were out on the lake, sitting in a boat that was bobbing up and down on the water. Thor sat next to Loki, his strong arm firmly around Loki’s slender waist. He never tried to take things any further. He always insisted that Loki needed time until Loki wanted to jump his husband just out of spite.

Loki was deep in his thoughts, enjoying the cool breeze and feeling almost melancholy when he considered that soon hot days would follow, when Thor squeezed his waist and broke his reverie.

“Loki? I asked you to repeat our wedding vows with me.”

Loki hummed contentedly, then Thor’s words registered. “To what?”

“Repeat our wedding vows.” Thor looked at Loki earnestly. “I heard about that in Midgard. Some couples repeat their wedding vows after some years.”

“And why would one do that, pray?”

“To renew the commitment.” He took Loki’s hand. “When we made those vows the first time, we didn’t know each other, you had been forced to be there and I was also under pressure from my parents. You vowed loyalty not so much to me, as to your realm, as did I.”

While he was speaking, Thor had pulled Loki closer and touched his forehead against Loki’s.

“I would have them mean something different now. I want our marriage to mean more than political obligations. Can we do that Loki? Can you swear to love and honour me as a man, not as the crown prince of Asgard? As I would swear it to you, Loki, and not the foreign prince my father deemed most suitable as my consort?”

Loki did his best to fight the tender smile that pulled insistently at his lips. He did not succeed.

“It seems a peculiar idea, but yes, why not.”

Thor chuckled. “Always so enthusiastic, my dear.” He moved closer to peck Loki’s lips.

***

As could be expected, Frigga and Sigyn immediately took to the idea. It was rather unexpected how enthusiastic Sif and the Warrior Three were. Any excuse for a huge celebration, it seemed. They might yet start a new tradition in Asgard.

He had insisted that the ceremony would take place in autumn. Winter would be too cold for most, he was told. But he did not want to subject Byleistr and Thrym, the Jotunheim delegation, to suffer in the summer heat. Laufey had chosen to remain in Jotunheim, and to Loki’s regret it would still have been unwise for Helblindi to be there. Still, seeing Byleistr again sooner than expected and being able to show his brother that he was indeed happy in this strange realm, that was worth much.

Jotunheim, Vanaheim, Nilfheim, Alfheim and Nidavellir were invited to send delegations. A special invite went to Lord Bjarke and Lady Harpa in Vanaheim, those at whose house Thor’s downfall had begun. It marred Loki’s (and Thor’s) pleasure that they could not invite their friends in Midgard. They hoped, however, that they would be able to visit Midgard at a later occasion and celebrate with the Avengers.

They all accepted the invitation; the celebrations in Asgard were legendary. This one promised to be exceptionally memorable. Loki started to feel apprehensive when Fandral exclaimed one evening that this time they would arrange for a truly spectacular bride-napping. But then, later, Sif accosted him in the gardens and he was led to a small chamber where Thor’s friends were gathered. They all plotted the bride-napping together.

The rest of the palace buzzed with activity too. Musicians needed to be selected. Entertainment needed to be chosen. Lords, ladies and guilds from Asgard vied with each other for the privilege to provide entertainment at court. Elaborate presents were sent from all corners of Asgard and the allied realms. Loki dimly remembered such presents from his first wedding, but he had been preoccupied with other matters.

More technical questions needed to be solved, such as the proper decorations for a reconfirmation of vows, rather than a “proper” wedding. Frigga decided that it would be just as grand as the actual wedding and none dared to oppose her. A council of priests worked on vows that would be suitable for a recommitment. Sigyn and the seamstresses decided that now they had proper time to devise a garment for Loki, that reflected his cultural heritage, his gender, his present status in Asgard and his future status as Allmother. They had fun with the challenge.

***

Finally, the day of the ceremony came. The previous day, Loki had personally welcomed Byleistr and Thrym to Asgard. As was the tradition in Jotunheim, they had spent the night in Loki’s chamber. In the morning, after a breakfast of raw meat from Jotunheim, which they had brought along, both giants watched rather bemused how Loki was readied in his splendid robes. Then Thrym departed to be shown to his seat in the temple, while Byleistr waited with Loki to lead him to the altar. By then, Byleistr was convinced that his baby brother was happy and their walk down the aisle was more relaxed.

Loki wondered how many people noticed that Thor had subtly changed the wording of the traditional vows to emphasize respect. They were probably not too many, but it meant so much to Loki. For the first time in his life, he had a position in which he was respected.

The ceremony was still long and boring, but this time he was holding hands with Thor, smiling at his husband whenever their eyes met.

The feast after the ceremony was just as lavish as the first time. For the Jotunn, the chefs had prepared a salad of cold fish. All guests were served ice cream after the first round of entertainments. Both the entertainments and the ice cream were met with great acclaim.

Loki had insisted that the bride napping would not occur before dessert was over. There was no way he would miss out on ice-cream just for a silly Asgardian tradition. After he had his dessert he rose and, as agreed on with Sif and the Warrior Three, he approached the majordomo who was standing on one side of the hall. Just when Loki was halfway between the tables and the majordomo, Thor’s friends came riding into the hall. Some of the visitors, unfamiliar with Asgardian traditions, screamed in surprise. Fandral hauled Loki up on his saddle and out they raced. Thor’s roar followed them out. They reined their horses in outside the palace, where a large crowd of spectators were gathering.

Loki had to acknowledge that bursting out on a horse into the open space in front of the palace was suitably dramatic. The townspeople formed a circle and they were galloping around it until Thor threw the gate open and fairly exploded into the ring followed by a group of young noblemen. Fandral cantered up and down the group, taunting them.

Thor made a show out of dragging Fandral off his horse, and soon the horses were discreetly led away by stable boys.

Loki eluded Thor’s grasp, without even resorting to magic. He slipped away just when Thor was near, taunting him in front of the crowd made up of the wedding guests, watching from the walls and the servants and townspeople gathered around the square.

Finally, when the show fights had gone on long enough, Loki allowed Thor to snatch him. They slung their arms around each other and under the loud cheering of the crowd Thor summoned Mjolnir before flying them both right over the crowd into Thor’s chambers.

Loki was nervous, but not as nervous as the last time. He had told Thor, that this night, they would resume their physical relationship. Properly this time. It seemed the most appropriate moment to do so. Loki was apprehensive; he knew that people enjoyed their coupling and his body certainly longed to be touched by Thor, but his previous experience made him doubtful. Still, he knew that this time he would be able to stop anything he did not enjoy.

*

Thor worshipped Loki’s body. The memory of their first night fled at Thor’s first gentle touches, caressing Loki’s face and shoulders. Loki’s arms were around Thor and he encouraged his husband to remove his armour and his clothes, soaking in Thor’s rapt stare when Loki slowly stripped out of his own robes. Thor moved slowly and gently first, but Loki soon encouraged him to become bolder, his own hands exploring every one of Thor’s muscles. For the first time, Loki was fully aroused. Still Thor restrained the passion burning in his eyes. Loki coaxed Thor, found the right places to touch the blond god to elicit those delicious deep moans that vibrated through Loki’s body. Thor’s whispered plea nearly drove Loki over the edge. Thor gently stopped Loki when he lay back to receive Thor. Laying on his own back, Thor guided Loki until the Jotun prince found his rhythm.

Once Thor had cleaned them with a cloth, he pulled Loki into his arms, whispering endearments into Loki’s hair. Loki almost purred. Now he understood why people desired this. He had just had his first taste of consensual sex and he knew he would never get enough.

*

Breakfast the next morning was an elaborate affair. It was another feast for all the delegations, intended to be a light occasion for people from different realms to mingle and to talk.

But the Allfather had a surprise for them. As soon as everybody was seated, he stood up and banged Gungnir against the ground to attract everyone’s attention.

The Allfather announced that there would be another feast in one year’s time. He would step down as king and pass the crown to his son. It was a long and winding speech, but what it acknowledged for those who knew what had passed, that Odin had been in the wrong when he punished Jotunheim. Loki had thought he could not be any happier the night before, but he found that he had been mistaken. There was a vindictive pleasure in hearing Odin, mighty Odin, admit that he had wronged little Loki.

Thor would be a better king than Odin. Loki was sure of that. And Loki would be his consort, ruling Asgard (and “guiding” the other realms) with him. He had been caught up in thinking about Jotunheim only, Jotunheim and its survival. His outlook has broadened. He was Loki of Jotunheim, sitting on the throne of Asgard next to his beloved husband (Loki would make sure that there was a throne for himself - no meek standing beside the throne for him).

He no longer needed to lay back and think of Jotunheim. He wasn’t the runt prince of Jotunheim any more, he was strong, respected and loved.

Loki smiled. The future was looking brighter than it had in a long time.


	17. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a little epilogue to hint at the future for those two :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was also betaed by TheLadySadie. Thank you!

One year after their second ceremony, just after Thor’s coronation, Loki realised that his bimonthly bleedings had stopped. It took him some time because they had not been regular for long. Unsure if this really meant what he thought it did, he decided not to mention it to Thor. By the time he went to the healers, they told him he was six months into his pregnancy out of the thirteen months it would presumably take him to carry the child (Jotunn carried for 14 months, Aesir for 12). Thor was scheduled to leave for a trip through various realms that was expected to last several months, fighting an inter-realm rebel group. Loki did not want to tell Thor before he left; his husband would worry too much.

***

During the months that Thor was away Loki managed to hide his pregnancy well. He opted to wear flowing garments, which made his growing belly look as if it was badly bunched fabric. Four months later they received word from Heimdall that Thor had requested that he bring them back via the bifrost on the following day. Of course, Thor had been victorious.

For the celebration that would welcome the return party and the new king, Loki chose to wear a dress which accentuated his new curves. It was green with luxurious gold borders. He contemplated himself in the mirror. The face he had given himself in his Aesir form really was more masculine than feminine.

His maid had, however, styled his hair in the fashion of ladies at the court; she as well as Frigga and Sigyn insisted that for the time he was pregnant, he should present more as a woman. It would reassure the Aesir that Thor’s spouse really was the All-Mother. The need to conform to Asgard’s gender roles was a little thorn in his side, but not enough to curb his excitement.

*

As he walked in the hall behind Frigga to take his place at the dais, he heard the murmuring ripple through the hall. His state had been noticed. He felt a smirk tugging at his lips.

Trumpets sounded. The party led by Thor had entered the castle. Loki straightened subtly. He started to second-guess for a moment if this rather dramatic revelation of his pregnancy to his husband had really been a good idea. Too late now.

Thor turned to formally greet his consort, but he only brought out “I am glad ….” when his gaze was arrested by the bulge in Loki’s dress. He faltered. “I ….” It didn’t help that some people had started to snigger. A broad grin spread over Thor’s face. “I am sincerely glad to see you again in good health.”

“As am I to see you returned whole and hale.” Loki inclined his head.

Thor laughed loudly, but he discreetly inclined his head to Loki’s belly. Oh. Thor really thought that maybe he had just gained weight? He scowled at his husband and nodded.

*

Once they were in private, Thor lifted Loki and twirled him around.

“Stop that,” Loki admonished him, feeling a bit queasy already. “Remember my condition.”

“I am so happy to see it.” Thor grinned and lifted his head up to kiss Loki. “What a surprise to come home to. You clever little bastard. You must have known when I left!”

“Yes,” Loki admitted. “I didn’t tell you because I thought it better. I was scared that I would miscarry, that is not uncommon in young Jotunn and … well, I am not a normal Jotunn and I had changed my body, I thought there was a good chance that nothing would come out of this.”

“Loki ….”

Thor looked angry at first, but his expression melted to something more tender.

“My love. Did you at least confide in Sigyn? Or my mother? Don’t tell me you went through those fears all alone.”

“The healers knew. I only told Sigyn and your mother when I began to show and they noticed that I suddenly wore very loose garments.”

Thor kissed his forehead. “It troubles me that you still think you have to go through your struggles alone.”

Loki smiled, taking Thor’s hands. “I hope next time you’re here. I will confide in you.”

The beaming smile that spread over Thor’s face made Loki feel drunk.

*

As Loki stood on the balcony later that night, his husband behind him, they looked out towards the void together. Somewhere out there was Jotunheim. Laufey had given up the throne too; Loki was never sure if Byleistr had forced him to do so after Odin had put the idea of an absconding king in his head. Byleistr was busy rebuilding Jotunheim as well as he could without the casket, already a much better king than Laufey had ever been during the last 1000 years. And the life growing within Loki guaranteed Jotunheim’s continued existence.

To Thor and everyone else in Asgard it was a frozen wasteland, with or without casket. But while Asgard was now his home, part of Loki would always miss the eternal ice and snow . The knowledge that Jotunheim would still be out there long into the future filled him with joy.

Perhaps they would stop sacrificing the runts, once they learned that the royal runt had secured their survival. He leant back against Thor. It was hard to remember how difficult their beginning had been. Now he looked forward to spending at least three thousand if not four thousand years with his husband.

The future, that had once seemed so bleak, was bright now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading the entire thing! And especially thank you for every kudos and every comment!! I can't believe this thing has more than 900 kudos, that is like at least 800 more than I expected. I learned a lot while writing this story and really enjoyed writing it. 
> 
> I know many of you would have preferred Odin to be punished for being a manipulative bastard, but I couldn't find a way to write it and keep it sort of realistic (as realistic as a Marvel Au can be, really). Odin is the most important person in all the realms, it's just not possible to just knock him down without upsetting the balance.  
> Also, I know some people wanted Loki to kick Thor's arse a bit more, but that would just have dragged the story on :)  
> I hope you enjoyed the story anyway, and as always, I love comments!


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